More gift recommendations? Heck yes, more gift recommendations! How ’bout Kate Beaton’s Hark! A Vagrant?

I do hope y’all have heard of Kate Beaton, because if not, y’all ain’t been paying attention. This is Kate Beaton, and she is awesome. She’s a Canadian webcomic artist — she’s got majors in history and anthropology, and a lot of her comics are about historical figures — with enough of an absurdist twist to make them hilarious. Plus she does cartoons about literature, other artists, pop culture, semi-autobiographical stuff, and much more. She’s just plain outstanding.

So there’s this book, named after one of her websites and based on one of her early cartoons. It includes Queen Elizabeth I, Macbeth, Tesla, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, the Bronte sisters, Jules Verne, Laura Secord, The Great Gatsby, hipsters, mystery-solving teens, alternate Watsons, sexy Batman, and even cartoons based solely on Nancy Drew and Edward Gorey book covers. And of course, the much loved Fat Pony.

Verdict: Thumbs up. There’s a reason Kate Beaton is so popular — she’s a great cartoonist, and she’s very, very funny.

Beaton’s art is deceptively simple. It’s often very quickly sketched out, almost messy. But even then, she does a great job of creating stuff that’ll make you laugh. And when she goes for really detailed artwork, she’s just awesome. Her greatest strength, art-wise, is probably her facial expressions — to pick one of my favorites, there’s the cartoon about arctic explorers Robert Peary and Matthew Henson. Dig the detail on Henson’s disgusted but not-at-all-surprised expression in the fourth panel. Now how ’bout the last panel — much simpler and less detailed in the expressions, but Peary’s fury and Henson’s absolute glee are crystal-clear.

Why buy a book when the cartoons are free online? Well, because a book looks better on your bookshelf than sticking a bunch of printed-off-the-computer cartoons stuck into a looseleaf notebook. Because it’s easier to show off to friends instead of dragging them over to your computer to call up her website. And frankly, cartoonists don’t make much money, so buying a book helps Kate Beaton make more cartoons instead of having to get a job at a convenience store.

If you have someone on your list who loves Kate Beaton’s cartoons, or loves history and literature — and loves laughing at those things, too — then they’ll probably love this book. This’ll run you about 20 bucks retail, maybe a skritch less from online booksellers.

Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton. Go pick it up.

Just a week before Christmas, and it’s looking like I may be able to devote this entire week to more gift recommendations. Today, we look at Brandon Graham’s amazing King City.

Ya know, I kinda don’t want to tell you anything about this one. When I read it for the first time, I knew almost nothing about it, other than the fact that a lot of people had lavishly praised its art and vision and general madcappery. In a lot of ways, I think that’s the best way to go into this book — knowing nothing about it and being delighted and shocked and mind-blown every time you turn a page.

But let’s hit a few quick plot and character bits, just for the sake of being thorough. Our story is set some time in the future — not quite dystopia, not quite space-opera futuristic. Our main character is Joe, a Catmaster — he’s a martial artist who’s able to use his cat, Earthling, as any tool or weapon he needs, with an injection of the right drug. His best friend is Pete, a guy who wears a doofy-looking hood all the time, who’s fallen in love with an alien he helped sell into slavery. His ex-girlfriend is Anna, who lives with Max, a veteran of the Zombie Wars who is addicted to a drug he uses to control his nightmares — the same drug his body is slowly turning into the more he uses it. They fight giant monsters and spies and cyberpunks and mad scientists and everything in between.

I could say more than that, but I ain’t gonna. I want you to go into this not knowing what to expect.

Verdict: Thumbs up. So very, very thumbs up. This is a glorious comic, sketchy and imaginative and sexy and surreal and hilarious and filled with wild and crazy action sequences. The dialogue, the characterization, the art and design are all absolutely pinpoint perfect.

I really don’t know what else I can say about it. It’s just a fantastic comic.

If you have someone on your list who loves wild science fiction and action, or who just loves beautifully-made comics, you’ll want to get this for them. If you haven’t read this yet, you may want to get it for yourself. It’s a nice, fat comic — over 400 pages! — and you can get it, retail, for just $20, probably less at the big online retailers.

King City by Brandon Graham. Go pick it up.

Okay, the holidays are fast approaching, and I’m running out of time to make more gift recommendations fast, so why don’t we jump right in with some more? Today, let’s look at Tom Beland’s True Story, Swear to God.

This is an autobiographical comic — Tom is a newspaper cartoonist from Napa, California, who gets a free ticket to Disneyworld from a coworker. While visiting, he has a chance meeting with Lily, a radio personality from Puerto Rico. And they hit it off pretty amazingly — they’re basically soulmates. They start a long, long, long distance relationship, but Tom eventually decides to quit his job and move away from his lifelong home to live with Lily in San Juan. What follows is cultural shock, language barriers, loneliness, weather issues, hurricanes, money troubles, job troubles, comic books — and a love between two people that just never lets up.

What, you want more than that? True love isn’t enough for you?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Okay, okay, I didn’t talk a lot about long-running plots, but for the most part, it’s good episodic storytelling. Ain’t nothing wrong with episodic storytelling, especially when it’s this well-done.

Beland’s art style is very cartoony — but still lushly detailed when he needs it, usually when depicting the beauty of Puerto Rico — and that cartoonishness often gives his stories a comedic mood, even when the plots are especially dramatic. Lily’s ordeal during the hurricane is definitely not funny, for example — does Beland’s cartooning make it look funny? Well, maybe a bit — but it would also look really weird if he changed his art style just for that story. Besides, Beland is really good at seeing the funny side of most things, so I think the cartoons work great.

Beland is not only a very funny guy — he’s also a very good storyteller. Part of this is that he’s had a really incredible story fall into his lap. True love! There’s no better story, and Beland gets to live it! But he’s got a grand talent for description and characterization and dialogue. Let’s face it, some of these stories are fairly commonplace — like most of real life, every issue can’t involve a hurricane of a cross-continent move. But he still manages to make stories about waiting in airports, talking on the phone, hanging out with friends and family, and much more into tales that pull you into the narratives completely. There are no superheroes and very rare action, but this is something you just can’t quit reading.

Got someone on your list who doesn’t care for superheroes or sci-fi or horror or any of the usual comic-book fare, but deeply loves newspaper comics — and enjoys a great love story? This may be something they’ll love reading. The stories are collected in several different volumes from Image Comics and AiT/PlanetLar — and they’re not generally too expensive, ranging from $15 for smaller volumes to $20 for large phone book editions. Check with your local comic shop or hit up one of the big booksellers.

True Story, Swear to God by Tom Beland. Go pick it up, ‘kay?

Time to dip back into our Holiday Gift Bag for some more recommendations for the comics fan on your list. Today, we’re going to look at Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke.

This is a wonderful, quick-reading all-ages comic, perfect for kids to read on their own, for parents to read to younger kids, or even for adults who enjoy fun science fiction adventures.

Our story starts when Zita and her friend Joseph find a meteorite with a small push-button machine inside. When they push the button, a hole opens up in space and tentacles drag Joseph away. When Zita finally stirs up the courage to pursue, she finds herself on a distant planet filled with bizarre aliens. And Joseph is being held captive and set to be sacrificed by scary monster aliens. And the push-button device gets broken. And the whole planet is going to be blown up by an asteroid.

Zita does make some friends. Strong Strong is, well, strong, but a bit dumb. Piper is a reluctantly helpful humanoid with a spaceship — but no fuel. Pizzicato is a giant mouse. One is a vengeance-obsessed battle-bot. And Randy is a nervous, broken robot. But they’re still not much of an army against an alien conspiracy, greedy con men, powerful and cruel robot foes, and again, a giant asteroid that’s set the destroy everything in mere days. Can Zita’s courage help to save the day?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy this incredibly charming story. The characterization is just plain grand, with villains you love to hate and heroes you love to love even as their personality quirks may infuriate you. The action is great, the suspense is frequently incredible, and the wonders and challenges Zita encounters are sometimes absolutely awe-inspiring — in terms of both “That’s fantastic!” and “That’s terrifying!”

And holy schmalokies, I love the art here. Hatke’s style is cartoony, open, friendly, even welcoming — that’s part of what makes the book such a page-turner, ’cause you want to just absorb more and more of his art. But he’s also great at depicting some of the incredible scale of this alien world and especially the dangers of the worst of Zita’s enemies.

Listen, you got kids? I bet they’ll wanna read this. You got daughters who crave adventure? It’s a stone guarantee they’ll wanna read this. You got a grownup on your list who loves audacious sci-fi derring-do and great cartooning? You’ll wanna wrap this up for ’em.

And there’s a sequel called “Legends of Zita the Spacegirl,” which I haven’t read yet — but if it’s anything like the original, you may wanna pick that up, too.

And even better: it ain’t gonna set you back much. It’s almost 200 pages of comics, and the price tag on the back is just eleven bucks.

Zita the Spacegirl by Ben Hatke. Go pick it up.

Well, it’s the day after Thanksgiving, and we all know what that means. Time to head out to the mall in the middle of the night, fight our way through jam-packed parking, and commit major felonies just so you can get our hands on — what’s the hot toy this year? Furbies? You’re kidding, right? Furbies? I’m supposed to beat up housewives so I can buy a freakin’ Furby?! That does it, I quit Planet Christmas.

But wait, we have an alternative to irritating Black Friday shopping! Comics! Yes, go visit your friendly local comic book store, where the parking lots are less crowded, the customers are more sophisticated, and the employees are dedicated to helping you find the perfect gift. We’ll spend a few weeks looking through our Holiday Gift Bag to find some great presents for any comic-lover on your list.

So let’s get things started this year with a book I’m honestly amazed I’ve never reviewed before now: We3 by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely.

This was released as a three-issue Vertigo miniseries in 2004, then put out in a trade paperback in 2005. It focuses on three animals that have been turned into cybernetically-enhanced war machines by the government. They are:

• a dog, called “1” who functions as the leader and mini-tank;
• a cat, called “2” equipped with flechette weapons and a very poor attitude; and
• a rabbit, called “3” who specializes in dropping bombs and poison gas.

All three animals have brain modifications that allow them to speak — but not very well. Most of what they say looks like very simple leet-speak, with the rabbit only able to manage very simple words, never sentences. They’re just animals — they’re not as smart as people, they don’t think like humans, so their speech is strange and bestial, while still retaining emotional resonance.

After a very successful testing program, the government decides that the We3 project is to be decommissioned and the animals killed. Their trainer releases the locks on the animals and lets them free, but they’re pursued by the military and other animal-machine hybrids, including a bunch of cyber-rats and a terrifying mastiff killing machine. And for the most part, the We3 animals tear through everything that comes after them. They massacre the soldiers who chase them, they blow up a train, they kill civilians who have the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But they can’t run forever. They run out of ammunition. Their health deteriorates when they don’t get the drug treatments they need to stay healthy. The military gets smarter, and their opponents get deadlier. The odds are stacked against them, and they may never manage to find the fabled land they long for — “Home.”

I think this is an amazing story. I love how much Grant Morrison obviously worked to get into the heads of the animals — 1 prizes loyalty above almost everything else. He loves helping people, and obsesses over being a good dog. 2 is perpetually bad-tempered and sarcastic, challenging 1’s leadership and intelligence, and gleefully using his advanced weapons to shoot down helicopters — or just songbirds. And 3 is simple and direct — he wants to be fed, he wants his equipment fixed, and he wants someone to take care of him. He’s slow to anger, but is more than capable of dishing out the violence when his team is threatened.

Morrison’s emphasis is on the animals, but he also writes empathetically about the humans as well. Dr. Roseanne is We3’s trainer and advocate, loyal and loving to her animal charges, willing to sacrifice her career and more to make sure they’re happy and safe. The lead scientist spends most of the story trying to capture or kill We3, but when he eventually sees the error of his ways, it’s a great moment — heartbreak, sorrow, love, compassion, all in one or two beautiful panels. And the bum the animals encounter is a great character, too — ultimately, I think he’s Morrison’s viewpoint character, in that he believes the best thing you can do for an animal is to love it.

And Frank Quitely’s art is absolutely amazing. When the animals escape, we watch it happen through dozens of different security cameras. When We3 attacks the military or blows up a drug cartel, we see it through a prism of tiny windows, each showing a brief second of action, all the details we’d never be able to make out in a full page — an eye getting pierced, a finger being severed, a bullet exiting a skull. The effect is very much like watching a movie that you can rewind, that lets you zoom in on small details.

It’s a very violent book. It doesn’t glory in violence — it’s depicted graphically, but not with glee or romance. We3 are war machines, and what they do is commit violence, not for fun (well, the cat probably thinks it’s fun), but because violence is part of their functions and programming. It’s the violence of the battlefield — not a good thing, but not something that can be glossed over and prettied up.

Amazon’s actually out of stock of this right now, but it looks like they may be expecting more. It might help if you contact your local comic shop or bookstore and ask when they expect to have them in stock. The hardcover is going to run you about $16; a Kindle edition is $10.

We3 by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely. Go pick it up.

Time for one final look into our Holiday Gift Bag, with my gift recommendations for comics fans and people who want to be comic fans. Today, we’re going with an old favorite around here: Marvel’s Essentials and DC’s Showcase Presents.

I recommended these every year, because they’re definitely some of the best, easiest gifts you can get for someone who loves comics. What are they? These are very thick collections of old comics — usually over 500 pages long, black and white printing, on inexpensive paper. They’re sometimes called “phone books,” ’cause they’re about as thick as a big city phone directory. DC and Marvel sell ‘em for cheap, too — usually between $15-20 each. Yes, it’s just in black and white, and the paper isn’t particularly fancy — but if they published these in color or on fancy paper, they couldn’t afford to make these so affordable, and that’s a trade-off you should feel pretty happy to make.

These collections can be divided between early works, like the first appearances of the Atom, Iron Man, the Teen Titans, or the Hulk, and rarities that haven’t previously been collected because they’re not in high demand, like Moon Knight, Metamorpho, Dazzler, or Adam Strange. There’s a huge variety of comics offered this way — superhero comics, war comics, Westerns, horror, sci-fi, fantasy, and more. You get major characters and minor characters, and some of the greatest artists and writers in comics history.

People are still looking for good gifts that won’t cost ‘em an arm and a leg, and that makes these just what the doctor ordered — they’re amazingly affordable, and they’re stuffed full of enough comics to keep any comics fan reading for weeks. And yeah, Christmas is almost here, but this is something you don’t have to put on special order — most comics shops and large bookstores are going to have a ton of these on hand, so you can stop in, spend a little cash, and walk off with an easy last-minute gift. It’s why I try to save this particular recommendation for late in the season every year — it’s a fast, easy gift that’ll go easy on your checking account while still giving the comics fan on your list some classic stories they’d never get to read otherwise.

Marvel’s Essentials and DC’s Showcase Presents. Go pick some up.

And hey, looking for some of my older recommendations? Just click on the button down at the bottom of this post that says “Holiday Gift Bag” — it’ll take you to all of my previous posts on this subject — that’s five years’ worth of gift recommendations at this point!

We’re getting closer to wrapping up our annual crop of comics gift recommendations. Today, we’re going to talk about I Kill Giants.

This was originally a seven-issue miniseries by Joe Kelly and J.M. Ken Niimura, published by Image Comics back in 2008. I got the first issue of this when it first came out but never ended up getting anything after that. I used to regret that, but I’m actually happy about it now, because I think this story works best as a stand-alone graphic novel, rather than as a series of individual comics.

The story focuses on an eccentric but whip-smart fifth grader named Barbara Thorson. She really is a glorious character — she’s terrifically smart, she’s got a smart mouth that can cut you to shreds from 50 yards, she’s an awesome D&D dungeon master, she knows more than anyone her age should know about obscure baseball trivia, she loves to wear weird animal-ear headgear, and possibly unsurprisingly, she has almost no friends. She lives at home with her older brother and sister, who does most of the work to keep the family going, as their father left the family and their mom is mysteriously absentee.

And Barbara sees fairies and monsters everywhere, tells everyone that she fights and kills giants, and has forebodings of titanic monsters on the way to destroy everyone around her.

Yes, maybe Barbara is a bit more than merely eccentric.

I’d love to tell you more about the story, about her mighty weapon Coveleski, about the secrets in her life, hiding in the upper floors of her house, about the terrors Barbara has to face. But I can’t do it, because there is so much glory in discovering these things for yourself while reading it.

Joe Kelly’s writing is entirely masterful. Killer dialogue and excellent characterization — seriously, you will love the heck out of Barbara even while you’re wishing you could take a switch to her. The plot builds slow, with more and more pressure stacking up. Niimura’s art is pretty amazing. It’s cartoony — almost sketchy — but it’s vastly eloquent at expressing emotion and action and mood.

The ending of this story is going to leave you terrified and breathless and maybe sad, for all the right reasons. It’s one of the few comics out there that gets me choked up every time I read it.

If you haven’t read it, you should read it. If you already have read it, you should get it for someone else and pass the joy along. The trade paperback will cost you less than $20.

I Kill Giants by Joe Kelly and J.M. Ken Niimura. Go pick it up.

The holidays will be here before you know it, and we’ve still got more gift recommendations to dig through! Can we finish all this stuff before Christmas? Today, let’s take a look at Munchkin Axe Cop!

If you pay any attention to gaming, you probably have heard of Munchkin, a humorous card game put out by Steve Jackson Games. The basic concept focuses on munchkins — power-mad, cheating, power-gamers who play roleplaying games to WIN instead of playing to have fun. The first game spotlighted the fantasy genre, but the company has come out with plenty of other expansions, with emphasis on science fiction, martial arts, pirates, zombies, goth vampire roleplayers, Westerns, Cthulhu, and of course, even superheroes.

The basic gameplay is the same over all the games: players “kick down a door” by flipping over one of the Door cards, which usually reveal some sort of ridiculous pun-based monster that you have to fight. If you can beat it (by matching your level, plus your bonuses and equipment, against the monster’s level), then you get to draw a Treasure card (which usually has ridiculous pun-based treasure, armor, and weapons) and you go up a level. Of course, your opponents can interfere in the battle, either by helping you fight, or by helping the monster. The first player to level 10 wins and gets to cruelly taunt the losers.

Well, the newest expansion is Munchkin Axe Cop, based on the utterly mad webcomic by Ethan and Malachai Nicolle. All the artwork is by Ethan, the 30-year-old big brother, while the game design is by game industry legend Steve Jackson. And of course, the insane concepts and characters — the cop who keeps turning into different things when blood spills on him, the man wearing the baby costume, the dinosaur with chaingun arms, the baby with a unicorn horn, the nonconformist bunny, the duck who shoots exploding eggs out of his butt, the super-cop carrying a fireman’s axe — are by seven-year-old Malachai.

So how does this play out once you get the cards out of the box? Well, I can tell you you’ll have the most fun if you’re playing with people who are already familiar with Axe Cop. If you pull this game out after Christmas dinner to play with your family, your grandmother, Uncle Ned, and Cousin Merle will probably be pretty confused about the game where one of the villains is made of candy, a flute is considered a dangerous weapon, and Abraham Lincoln is an Explosion God. Better stick with Monopoly with folks who are unfamiliar with either Munchkin or Axe Cop.

But for people who are pretty clued in about the goofy cutthroat fun of Munchkin and the delirious lunacy of Axe Cop? Those folks are gonna love it, and they’ll probably love it as a Christmas gift. It’ll run you about $25, but that’s a lot of cards and a lot of fun.

Munchkin Axe Cop from Steve Jackson Games. Go pick it up.

I’m already starting to get a bit behind on these gift recommendations, so let’s get back into ’em. Today, we’re going to talk about The Complete Major Bummer Super Slacktacular.

A little history: “Major Bummer” was a humor comic published by DC from 1997-1998. It was written by John Arcudi, with art by Doug Mahnke. It didn’t appear to be within DC’s normal continuity — no other superheroes appeared, and Lou was never mentioned in any other DC books. There was also no one named “Major Bummer” in the comic — the title was part pun and part a thematic mission statement — namely, “Superpowers suuuuck, now let’s have a larf at people being brutally injured.”

Our main character was Lou Martin, a skinny, unmotivated slacker with few interests outside of eating, sleeping, and playing video games. But after a couple of alien grad students accidentally implanted him with a hypertech superheart, Lou was transformed into a superstrong, musclebound, super-smart slacker with few interests outside of eating, sleeping, playing video games, and trying to avoid being horribly maimed by supervillains.

The comic’s supporting characters included a group of misfits who’d received their own superpowers: Gecko (a superhero fanboy who could stick to walls), Val (a gorgeous babe who could fly and had the hots for Lou), Lauren (an elderly, scatterbrained lady who could see the future), and Francis (a condescending artiste with a supersonic scream).

The main villains were a bunch of superpowered thugs: impossibly-skinny claw-slinger Carlos, super-hot density-controlling Nancy, chubby electro-punk Bridget, big-brained weirdo Reggie, and Nunzio. Really, Nunzio was the only one who actually counted — he was a gigantic, red-skinned, lizardy monster who was way, way tougher than Lou was.

Other villains included the alien grad students, Zinnac and Yoof, a transdimensional Nazi thunder lizard called Tyranosaurus Reich, a psychotic, buck-toothed hero-worshiping geek named Milton, a demon-possessed toddler, and Val’s horrible parents.

The violence in this book, mainly directed at Lou, was entirely gratuitous, over-the-top, and ridiculous. Lou gets repeatedly beaten to a bloody pulp by Nunzio and various other threats. He gets bitten, clawed, shot, dropped out of planes, and trampled by elephants. In one memorable panel in the final issue, he even gets used as a club to beat a future version of himself.

DC has never bothered to put this out in a collected trade paperback, which was just insane, because it was such a grand series. Eventually, Arcudi and Mahnke were able to take the entire series to Dark Horse Comics, and they published this single gigantic volume earlier this year. If you missed the original series, this will run you about $30, but it’s really the only way to see what all the awesomeness was all about.

The Complete Major Bummer Super Slacktacular by John Arcudi and Doug Mahnke. Go pick it up.

This isn’t the usual Holiday Gift Bag installment. See, I’ve been re-reading Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” lately, which is something I try to do every few years, and I was marveling at how relevant it still is today. We see 21st century Scrooges almost everywhere we look. A lot of the anti-poverty programs that Scrooge advocated for during the first chapter of the book seem similar to programs that more modern wealthy misers have also advocated. The idea of working low-level employees on holidays is coming back into style. The scene where Christmas Present reveals Ignorance and Want was positively revelatory to me this year. Reading the book has got me thinking about a lot of stuff lately.

So in this installment of the Holiday Gift Bag, I’m not suggesting you go buy something as a holiday gift. I’m suggesting you do something to make the world a slightly better place. I’m asking that you try to nurture your senses of compassion and empathy.

The past week saw news stories about Christmas shoppers spraying other people with pepper spray, getting into fights, trampling employees, ignoring dying customers in the rush for bargains they could’ve gotten any other day of the season. Our politicians and pundits advocate for policies that would throw the unemployed to the wolves, that would send poor children to work in place of janitors, that would have poor people paying more taxes than the “job creators” who never seem to create any jobs.

There are people out there who cheer the ideas that private insurance should be too expensive for anyone but the wealthy and that people who can’t afford insurance should die of preventable diseases. There are people out there who look at the 10% unemployment rate, with hundreds of applicants for lowly burger-flipping jobs, and huff that the unemployed are just too lazy to work. There are people out there who think unemployment and welfare pay so lavishly that people choose to stay on the dole.

Sometimes, it seems like we’re trying to un-create civilization — like we’ve decided, as a culture, that having a sane society is just no fun anymore, so we’re gonna see how things work as a hellhole fresh out of Ayn Rand’s or Jason Voorhees’ wet dreams.

Part of the problem is certainly ignorance — people just don’t know how things are outside of their bubble, and their assumptions are deeply uninformed. But another part of the problem is that there are an awful lot of sociopaths running the political world and the mass media, and they’ve spent the past few decades getting paid very well to make sociopathy look sexy and fun. They’ve done a very good job of promoting the idea that it’s patriotic to dehumanize 99% of their fellow people because they don’t have the right politics or the right culture or the right level of wealth or the right level of personal attractiveness.

In the past few years, we’ve even seen people in the media and in our Congress claim that empathy is a bad thing to possess. Sure, maybe it is for psychotics and serial killers, who need to have no sympathy for the random people they’re trying to kill. But for the rest of us, if someone said you didn’t have any empathy or compassion for others, you’d think it was a huge insult. And you’d be right.

So seriously, make an effort to remember that not everyone has your advantages, and just because someone doesn’t have those advantages, that doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, it doesn’t mean they’re lazy, it doesn’t mean they’re taking anything from you, it doesn’t mean they’re destroying America, and it doesn’t mean you should be happy when bad things happen to them.

This is the type of thing you usually hear a lot of around the holidays. And it’s a good message, it really is. Compassion during the holidays is one of the best things about the holidays — opening your heart to all your fellow creatures is what gives this time of year the power that it still holds over us. But I hate it when those compassionate urges disappear after December 25th. And I hate it when people use the holidays as a weapon to attack others — either using a holiday greeting that the TV blowhards don’t approve of, or letting consumerism take over our good sense, or proclaiming that people who celebrate other holidays at this time of year — or none at all — aren’t deserving of the goodwill we offer to our own tribe. I wish compassion and empathy were the standards year-round, not the exceptions.

It’s a rough economy, I know, and I don’t think everyone should go out and spend all their money on charities. Please feel free to give to a good charity, if you’re able. But these days, you gotta keep your head above water first.

But even if you can’t contribute money to others, if you can’t give to the local food pantries or coat drives or toy drives or whatever, if you don’t sling soup at the homeless shelter or take boxes of cookies to the nursing home or go caroling at the hospital, please don’t let yourself devolve into the kind of thuggery, resentment, and hatemongery we have to see on the cable news channels. The only people who benefit from that are the cable news channels themselves, not you, not your family, not your neighbors.

It’s a hard life for all of us, but it’s a lot harder for some folks than others. Please remember that we’re all in this together. I mean, we’re all comic book people ’round here, right? Let’s try to be the heroes and not the villains.

Compassion and empathy: They’re free, and they make us all feel better. Please go pick some up.