Stuff that Sucks

Ya know what sucks? These two comics suck. Let’s get reviews of them over with in a hurry.

She-Hulk #26

On the one hand, the issue starts out with people actually throwing bears at each other, which ya gotta admit is pretty cool. But after that, you’ve got She-Hulk, still insisting she’s not a superhero anymore, fighting an alien bounty hunter, even after she realizes they’re on the same side. You’ve got Jazinda the Skrull dying but coming back to life. You’ve got Cazon the evil mass-murdering prettyboy taking a completely useless hostage solely for the purpose of — actually, there’s no purpose. He didn’t need the guy as a hostage, and he’d already killed the guy’s girlfriend. And the girlfriend gets brought back to life, too, but only temporarily. You’ve got five pages of She-Hulk holding onto the side of a speeding spaceship — which really shouldn’t be boring but nevertheless is. You’ve got She-Hulk improbably losing her pants for the sake of clumsy and ineffective smirk-and-wink geek-giggles.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Good gravy, remember when this book used to be good? Shouldn’t a guy like Peter David be better at writing a comic book than this? Could someone please get Dan Slott back to writing this one so maybe it can stop sucking?

Teen Titans #56

Kid Devil really does have it rough. The other Titans come up with a plan to stop a bad guy, don’t tell him the plan, and then blame him for not knowing what the plan is. Wonder Girl’s a jerk, Robin’s a jerk, Ravager’s a jerk. Miss Martian’s getting all set to turn evil. Of course, Kid Devil’s also dumber’n dirt, so he throws a giant party at Titans Tower when everyone’s out, and sure enough, everyone who shows up breaks stuff, steals stuff, and prank-calls Batman. And after the rest of the Titans show up and act like jerks again, he runs into the only cool guy from the party, and it turns out he’s a supervillain named Dreadbolt, who’s working with a group called the, um, Terror Titans, run by, um, the Clock King. Oooo, scaaaary.

Verdict: Thumbs down. This comic is just absolutely inept. Why am I still reading it? Partly brand loyalty, I think, and partly because I want to see just how bad this one is going to get.