Archive for Christmas

The Ultimate Comic Book Christmas Carol

I dearly love Charles Dickens’ classic story “A Christmas Carol.” I’ve loved it since I was a kid, almost certainly because I was attracted to its horror elements, and I’ve always loved horror.

Of course, I also love the fact that it almost single-handedly created what we now think of as the modern Christmas celebration. No one much celebrated Christmas when Dickens wrote this book — it had been considered a minor holiday ever since Oliver Cromwell banned it in the 1600s. “A Christmas Carol” was insanely popular when it was published — in London, it sold something like 6,000 copies a week, for at least a while, and it sparked a new interest in supposedly traditional celebrations of the Yuletide. If you like the idea of getting a day off at Christmas, you have Charles Dickens to thank for it — it was unheard of until “A Christmas Carol.”

No matter the reason I first discovered it, I do love the story now. I’ve read it multiple times, sometimes multiple times during a single Christmas season, and I’ve seen nearly all of the movies based on the book. (My favorite is the one from 1984 that starred George C. Scott. Lots of excellent scenery-chewing, plus David Warner, Edward Woodward — the Equalizer! — as Christmas Present, and an outstandingly terrifying Christmas Future.) I’ve even got significant chunks of the book memorized.

Now “A Christmas Carol” gets adapted to comic form pretty often, from close adaptations from “Classics Illustrated” to much looser adaptations starring the Teen Titans, the Outsiders, and, well, Scrooge McDuck. But let’s say you wanted to make a really loose adaptation of the book starring characters from multiple comic companies to make the Ultimate Comic Book Christmas Carol? Who would you put in it? Frankly, I don’t care, ’cause here’s who I’d pick as the stars.

Ebenezer Scrooge, portrayed by Tony Stark

Yeah, you thought it was gonna be Dr. Sivana or the Vulture, ’cause they’re old and creaky. Nope, the most important part of Scrooge’s character isn’t his age or even his miserliness — it’s his redemption. Can you imagine the Vulture or Thaddeus Bodog Sivana reforming? Heck, no! But let’s take Iron Man — he’s spent the last few years as Marvel’s most prominent villain. He ran around like Dick Cheney in powered armor, shot the Hulk into space, took over the S.H.I.E.L.D. spy agency, outlawed any superheroes who didn’t work for him, depowered the She-Hulk, and arrested Captain America.

This is definitely a guy who needs some serious redemption. And everyone knows he can do it, ’cause he’s been a hero before. But you can’t just go poof, pow, Iron Man’s back to normal, ’cause there’s no motive for him to change his ways. But if you got him visits by three spirits at Christmastime, maybe that’d be enough to get him to see where he’s gone wrong and resolve to be a good superhero again…

Marley’s Ghost, portrayed by the Phantom Stranger

And again, you were expecting someone different, weren’t you? Maybe Deadman or Ghost Rider or the Funky Phantom. But I’m going with the Phantom Stranger. Most depictions of Marley’s ghost focus on his ghostly aspects, which makes perfect sense, but Marley is also a figure of mercy — he arranges for the hauntings to save Scrooge from his own fate, and serves as an object lesson of the dangers of greed.

So where does the Phantom Stranger come in? Well, in the only origin of the character that matters (because it was written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Joe Orlando), he was once an angel who chose to sit on the fence during Lucifer’s revolt. He was cast out of Heaven, but was unwelcome in Hell, so he was doomed to wander forever, helping people where he may. He may not be frightening, and he may not drag heavy chains around, but he seems like he’d fit well into Marley’s spectral shoes.

The Ghost of Christmas Past, portrayed by Dazzler

Depictions of the Ghost of Christmas Past are pretty wildly varied — young, elfin children, elderly ladies, Cupid-like figures, even a Brooklyn cabbie. But Dickens’ story has the final say in the matter – Dickens depicts the ghost as a white-robed figure who has a bright, blinding light on his/her/its head, like a bright candle flame.

So the theme I’ll go with here is light, and Marvel’s mutant disco queen is the best-known light controller in comics. Not a ghost, not a spirit, but if Dickens’ story can survive having the character played by David Johansson, Kathy Griffin, Jiminy Cricket, and various old people dressed up in white robes, I think it can survive Dazzler.

The Ghost of Christmas Present, portrayed by Hercules

This one was the easiest pick I had. Dickens’ novel says the Ghost of Christmas Present is a jolly, boisterous, laughing giant with brown hair and a full beard. He wears a green robe and has a holly wreath on his head. He loves drink, feasting, and merriment.

And the Marvel Comics character Hercules is also a jolly, boisterous, laughing giant with brown hair and a full beard. He wears green and yellow clothing, and though he doesn’t have a holly wreath, his head is framed by headgear. He loves drink, feasting, and merriment. Hercules fits the Ghost of Christmas Present absolutely perfectly.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, portrayed by Death

I’m really going to break with tradition here. In virtually every adaptation of Dickens’ novel, the Ghost of Christmas Future is silent, shrouded, and wet-your-pants scary. I went through a ton of characters trying to find the right match. Darkness-controlling characters like the Shroud, Cloak, Nightshade, Obsidian, and the Shade weren’t scary enough. The best known comics characters who wear hoods or shrouds — the Time Trapper, Raven, Destiny of the Endless — also aren’t particularly terrifying. I considered Ghost Rider again, but though he’s scary enough, he’d be less likely to hint to Scrooge about his death and more likely to, you know, hit him with chains and run him over with his motorcycle several times.

But Christmas Future is also generally considered to be an incarnation of the Grim Reaper — Death incarnate. And I gotta admit, the idea of re-imagining the scariest spirit in the Dickens’ book as the Sandman’s older sister, a chipper goth girl who no one messes with because she’s still Death is something that really appeals to me. So what the heck, it’s my party, and I’ll cast Death as Christmas Future if I want to.

So there we go — there’s my new all-comics cast of “A Christmas Carol.” Don’t like it? Think I don’t understand Dickens’ novel correctly? Think I should’ve totally cast Spider-Man as Tiny Tim? Too bad, boyo, gitcher own blog!

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War! On! Christmas!

DC Universe Holiday Special

This is DC’s annual holiday anthology, with lots of short stories about Superman, Aquaman, Commissioner Gordon, Blue Beetle, the Justice League, Dr. Light, Nightwing, Robin, Huntress, the Teen Titans, and more.

Verdict: Are the stories bad? No. Are the stories good. No, not really. Is it all worth the price on the cover? Well, the price on the cover is six bucks, and I gotta say, these stories are definitely not worth six bucks. Thumbs down.

Aww, but I don’t want to leave you with just that one bad review. Let’s review a couple of good comics real quick.

Ambush Bug: Year None #5

Ambush Bug works as a henchman for a low-rent supervillain called the Yellow Snow (Don’t eat him!) and discovers that all 52 of the Monitors are after him. Not that the Bug cares too much — he’s too busy traveling to the many alternate earths, including the sex-change world, the mirror universe, and Frank Miller World, where black bars cover up almost all of the dialogue. He learns that, though he managed to kill DC head honcho Dan DiDio last issue (Huzzah!), he’s alive again (Booo!) and controlling the multiverse to make everything dark and edgy and grim (Booo! Nonfiction!). Things are so bad that arch-villain Go-Go Chex tries to enlist Ambush Bug’s aid in putting down the menace of DiDio once and for all. But can anything stop the interstellar evil of Dan DiDio?

Verdict: Thumbs up. More silly jokes and visual gags. How great is it that this lengthy tribute to the evil of Dan DiDio is being published by DiDio’s comics company? Oh, and Keith Giffen better stay out of any small planes.

Booster Gold #15

We start off with Booster and Skeets preventing Goldstar, Booster’s sister, from posing for a certain famous painting of an enigmatically smiling woman by Leonardo da Vinci. After leaving 16th-century Italy, the time-jumping heroes discover that time has gotten all screwed up again. This time, they trace the disturbance back to the Gotham museum robbery from a few issues ago. Apparently, one particular knife was missing from the museum after the robbery — and when they return to the museum, Booster and Skeets are ambushed by the Elongated Man! Yay, Ralph Dibny! They have a nice team-up and almost catch the knife thief, but he escapes, and Booster ends up stranded on a ruined, muddy battlefield…

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s great to see Ralph in action again, and the rest of the story is good fun. Any story that can combine the Mona Lisa, the Elongated Man, and what appears to be a battlefield from World War I, is something that I’m pretty certain to enjoy.

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Just 364 Shopping Days Left…

 

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to December 26th, or as I prefer to call it, International Seasonal Let-Down Day.

You’ve been stuffed full of turkey, ham, and sweet potatoes, and you still have another two weeks of leftovers to look forward to. And after you’re done with the leftovers? You get to diet. Not that you’ll actually lose that weight, but you gotta do it anyway.

Your presents were nice, but you’re already a little bored with them. You’ve got gift cards and Christmas cash to use, but you also know your credit card bills are coming. And rent’s coming due, too.

You have to take the tree, the lights, and all the decorations down.

Uncle Ronnie was both shirtless and drunk before noon yesterday.

Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward Men completely failed to materialize for the 2,007th year in a row.

The coldest, most miserable part of winter is still ahead of you.

And if you’re like me, you have to go back to work today.

So no real blogging today. Just work.

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It’s a Wonderful Life

 

Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!

 

Merry Christmas, Justice League of America!

 

Merry Christmas, Spider-Man and Fantastic Four!

 

Merry Christmas, Teen Titans!

 

Merry Christmas, Matt from “Dork Tower!”

 

Merry Christmas, Hulk!

 

Merry Christmas, Flash!

 

Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter!

“And a Happy New Year to you… in jail!”

 

Merry Christmas, Wolverine!

 

Merry Christmas, Justice Society!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

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A Marvel-ous Christmas

 

Marvel Holiday Special

I’ve got time for one review this Christmas Eve, so let’s make it a review of a new Christmas comic. Marvel puts out a holiday special every year or two. I’m not gonna tell you they’re the greatest comics in the world. But they ain’t the worst either, and they’re some pretty good holiday fun.

Let’s hit the stories in this issue one by one, a’ight?

Our first story, “Piece of Cake” by Andrew Farago, Shaenon K. Garrity and Lou Kang, focuses on Wolverine and Spider-Man. Logan is trying to bring in a psychotic mall Santa who has acquired his very own giant Sentinel robot. Spidey, meanwhile, just wants to deliver an improbably large cake to his Aunt May’s house for a Christmas party. As expected, hijinks ensue. This is a great story, full of all the stuff we love about Spidey and Wolvie both. Funny jokes, outlandish action, improbably large cakes, Christmas puns.

Our second story — well, really, it’s just a two-page feature. It includes cartoons by the great Fred Hembeck of a number of Marvel characters wearing Santa Claus suits. It originally appeared back in 1984, and it’s still fun.

Third, there’s a short holiday story by C.B. Cebulski and Alina Urusov about a group of characters called the Loners having a Secret Santa gift exchange. If you know anything the characters, the story might mean something to you. However, if you, like me, have never heard of these guys, it’s just gonna be a waste of space.

Finally, there’s “The Meaning of Christmas” by Mike Carey and Nelson (that’s all, just “Nelson”) in which a reporter for the Daily Bugle travels all over the Marvel Universe asking villains and heroes what they think the meaning of Christmas is. It’s cute fluff. Not much more than that.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The first story alone with Spider-Man and Wolverine is worth the entire cost of the comic all by itself. The others are a nice little bit of tinsel on this package, too. If you can find it, pick it up.

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No Place like Star for the Holiday?

Hey, if you’re in the Hub City, and you plan on doing some last-minute Christmas shopping for comics, you’re already almost out of time.

Star Comics — out on 2014 34th here in Lubbock — is going to be closed from Monday, December 24 to Wednesday, January 2. They’ll be re-opening as normal on Thursday, January 3.

So if you planned on picking up some comics for your kids’ stockings, you better get there ASAP. If you were going to spend part of your Christmas money on a new comics anthology, better plan on waiting ’til January.

Don’t wait too late! Otherwise, you’ll have to get your mom pans or a dress or underwear, instead of that Jack Kirby “Fourth World” omnibus she really wants! Don’t force your family to suffer through a non-comics Christmas! Get your shopping done now!

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