Captain America: Plugged and Planted


Funeral Details

Oh my gosh! Captain America is GETTING A FUNERAL!!!1!

It’s a funeral fit for a superhero. In the drizzling rain at Arlington National Cemetery, thousands of grieving patriots solemnly watch as the pallbearers — Iron Man, the Black Panther, Ben Grimm and Ms. Marvel — carry a casket draped with an American flag. Yes, folks, Captain America is dead and buried in the latest issue of Marvel Comics’ “Fallen Son,” due on newsstands the morning after Independence Day. After 66 years of battling villains from Adolf Hitler to the Red Skull, the red, white and blue leader of the Avengers was felled by an assassin’s bullet on the steps of a New York federal courthouse.

It’s a little embarrassing that the national media is still running news articles about this. Wouldn’t you think a reporter would want to avoid getting roped into a publisher’s PR ploys?

I find myself having a really tough time caring about this. The “death” of Cap was never meant to be a good story — it was designed, from the beginning, as a publicity stunt to sell a few extra comic books.

And anyone who really believes that Captain America is really dead? I got this big bridge out in Brooklyn I’ll let you have for cheap.

So yeah, color me cynical about every single thing about this funeral.

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