The Human Brain is an Unpredictable Critter

Oh, the crazy things that go through my mind late at night when my brain is jacked up on Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper and Marshmallow Peeps…

You may have heard that Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale are going to continue their color-coded series at Marvel, following up “Spider-Man: Blue,” “Daredevil: Yellow,” and “Hulk: Gray” with the new “Captain America: White.”

 

Now, I’m sure it’ll be a really nice series, lots of great stuff about Cap during WWII, lots of beautiful art… but frankly, I just can’t seem to stop myself from re-naming it, every time I see the title, to “Captain America: Honkey.”

Yes, I know. Still can’t help it.

And I keep imagining a plot for it, too. It’s basically Cap standing around, saying stuff like, “Wow, I love country music. Aren’t sweater vests great? Who wants some Wonder Bread? I just don’t get Dave Chappelle.” And the Falcon and Luke Cage and Storm and the Black Panther show up every few minutes to yell, “Shut up, honkey!”

Other crazy comics ideas that run through my head when hopped up on candy and diet soda: Spider-Man should have a pet bear. It should be named Spider-Bear. Next year’s big comics crossovers should involve superheroes just sitting around and hugging pretty ponies and kitties and puppies. And Congorilla should totally be in the JLA.

It’s probably a good thing that I don’t write comics, ain’t it?

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