Battle Royale with Cheese: Darkseid vs. Galactus
Comics reviews, comics reviews, comics reviews. I need a break. I bet you do, too. So give me your opinions on the absolutely vital question of WHO WOULD WIN?
The combatants:
DC’s Darkseid, Lord of Apokolips, master of the Omega Effect, prophet of Anti-Life, the Rock and the Chain and the Lightning, your New God, now and forever…
…vs. Marvel’s Galactus, Devourer of Worlds, master of the Power Cosmic, immense godlike destroyer, and possessor of the craziest hat ever!
We’ll go for a best-three-out-of-five battle.
Contest 1:
Generic Minion Whomping!
Contest 2:
Clue!
Contest 3:
Cake Baking!
Contest 4:
Dance Marathon!
Contest 5:
Beach Volleyball! (with Desaad and Terrax the Tamer to fill out the teams)
WHO WOULD WIN???
(My picks are in the comments…)
Scott Slemmons Said,
February 8, 2010 @ 7:08 am
Contest 1: Galactus. Sure, Darkseid can smack around a bunch of lowlies, but Galactus eats whole planets full of lowlies.
Contest 2: Darkseid. He always cheats, but he never gets caught.
Contest 3: Darkseid. Galactus keeps eating his cake before the judges can see it.
Contest 4: Darkseid. That dude does a tango you wouldn’t believe.
Contest 5: Galactus. Hard to stop a spike that’s coming from a thousand feet up. And Darkseid keeps killing and resurrecting Desaad.
Maxo Said,
February 8, 2010 @ 12:07 pm
It is a little known fact that Darkseid is light on his feet. And you’re right; his tango — exquisite! (Though Galactus’ cha-cha shouldn’t be dismissed, either.)
Andy Said,
February 8, 2010 @ 1:57 pm
Generic minion whomping: Galactus. Darkseid kills his or sends them to who-knows-where with a boom-tube, but G imprisons them for eternity with us – both diabolical and lasting. He makes one guy suffer enough for everyone.
Clue: Galactus. D is a far more calculating man (?) whereas G’s plans extend little further than eating his problems BUT! there is no gray pawn.
Cake-baking: Darkseid. Galactus’ recipes all call for continental shelves and the energy taken from dead insurance agents. D uses anti-life and the blood of the guilty and innocent alike, but he knows the value of lemon zest.
Dance Marathon: Galactus. He’s light on his feet, seeing as he almost never uses them. Darkseid gets around, but he needs a boom-tube and he looks like someone’s pet rock. You telling me he can do the mambo? I think not.
Beach Volleyball: Darkseid. Desaad is useless and cringes when someone raises their hand to hail a taxi. Terrax tends to slice the ball cleanly in two, and while G can HELA-spike, Darkseid majored in tyranny at Apokolips State University on a volleyball scholarship (minor: poli-sci).
3/2 Galactus. Word.
VoodooBen Said,
February 8, 2010 @ 8:07 pm
Minion-Whomping: Galactus. He’s just got the size for it. And we all know how much he loves using the power cosmic to disintegrate things.
Clue: Darkseid. Galactus just isn’t nearly that calculating, or deceptive.
Cake-Baking: Darkseid. Though Galactus’ could feed an entire nation for a year…if that nation’s continent hadn’t just been coated in frosting.
Dance Marathon: Gotta give this one to Galactus – Darksied just doesn’t seem all that light on his feet. The man has two poses: “pondering” and “hands behind his back while he belittles you”. Neither one are particularly suited to cutting the rug.
And now, tied at 2-2, we come to the final bout…
Volleyball: GALACTUS. Mostly because DeSaad is a worthless tool, and Terrax has a heckuva serve. Had Darksied chosen a more worthy teammate – say, Granny Goodness for example – the match might have turned out differently. But as it stands, the winner is Marvel’s Muncher of Worlds, the Gah-Lac-Tus!
VoodooBen Said,
February 8, 2010 @ 8:07 pm
Minion-Whomping: Galactus. He’s just got the size for it. And we all know how much he loves using the power cosmic to disintegrate things.
Clue: Darkseid. Galactus just isn’t nearly that calculating, or deceptive.
Cake-Baking: Darkseid. Though Galactus’ could feed an entire nation for a year…if that nation’s continent hadn’t just been coated in frosting.
Dance Marathon: Gotta give this one to Galactus – Darksied just doesn’t seem all that light on his feet. The man has two poses: “pondering” and “hands behind his back while he belittles you”. Neither one are particularly suited to cutting the rug.
And now, tied at 2-2, we come to the final bout…
Volleyball: GALACTUS. Mostly because DeSaad is a worthless tool, and Terrax has a heckuva serve. Had Darkseid chosen a more worthy teammate – say, Granny Goodness for example – the match might have turned out differently. But as it stands, the winner is Marvel’s Muncher of Worlds, the Gah-Lac-Tus!
Sado Said,
February 15, 2010 @ 8:37 am
Minion Whomping: Sure, Galactus can whomp some major amounts of minions, he only has a few. Darkseid has a whole planet of minions, and no compunction against destroying any of them. See DeSaad.
Clue: Darkseid. Galactus will have a hard time reading the cards, and Darkseid cheats.
Cake Baking: Darkseid’s stint as lunch lady for the Tiny Titans was no accident.
Dance Marathon: Galactus. Darkseid has no need to dance to have any woman he pleases, while Galactus has to do _something_ to pass the time roaming from world to world.
Volleyball: Galactus. He uses moons for the ball, and asteroid fields for the net.