“The Machine Girl.”

Wow, I think I need a cigarette.

And yes, it’s a real movie.

Ya know, I tried out the “World of Warcraft” computer game when it was in beta testing. It may be the biggest MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) on the planet, but it just wasn’t for me. Loved the scenery, got dead-bored with the fantasy elements. Loved the Night Elves, got dead-bored with killing wild pigs. I found something better instead.

 

City of Heroes and its companion game City of Villains let you play as a superhero (or, if you’re feeling sociopathic, a supervillain). You like comic books, right? You’ll like this game.

So what’s the hook? You play one of several different archetypes — including fire-slinging blasters, brain-blasting controllers, ninja assassins, undead masterminds, and many, many more. You start out fighting opponents that make you feel like a hero (or a villain) — even in the tutorials, superheroes get to help stop an outbreak of a drug-fueled disease, while villains break out of prison.

From there, you can fight dangerous gangs of opponents on the streets of your chosen city, or you can talk to your contacts, who will send you on special missions against evil robots, the disgusting Vazhilok zombies, mutant snakes, or the global villain organization Arachnos.

As you defeat your enemies, your powers improve, and you move on to fight more dangerous enemies, including the mystical Circle of Thorns, the cybernetic Freakshow, and even the invading aliens called the Rikti. And of course, if you’re a villain, there are cops to beat up, heroes to destroy, and banks to rob.

One of the coolest things about the game is the costume creator, which is considered the best of any computer game out there. I’ve been playing the game for several years, and I’m always amazed by the wide variety of costumes you see people wearing in the game. Just about any look you want, there’s a good chance you can create it, from the traditional patriotic hero…

 

…to the dark, brooding avenger…

 

…from mad scientists…

 

…to zombie pirates…

 

…from angels…

 

…to demons…

 

…and even normal schlubs…

 

…or your grandmother.

 

If you’ve got a comics fan who also loves computer games, there’s a pretty darn good chance they’d enjoy this game, too. You can pick up the “Good vs. Evil” edition either online or in an electronics/computers store, and you’ll get “City of Heroes” and “City of Villains” for about $30. Like most MMORPGs, there is a monthly subscription fee — about $15 a month. You’ve still got time to pick it up for the holidays, so jump to it!

This isn’t exactly comics-related news, but I know for a fact that many comics fans are also big fans of Terry Pratchett and his “Discworld” series of epic fantasy-satire novels. For those of you who haven’t yet heard the news, Pratchett has just announced that he has early-onset Alzheimer’s disease.

I would have liked to keep this one quiet for a little while, but because of upcoming conventions and of course the need to keep my publishers informed, it seems to me unfair to withhold the news. I have been diagnosed with a very rare form of early onset Alzheimer’s, which lay behind this year’s phantom “stroke”.

We are taking it fairly philosophically down here and possibly with a mild optimism. For now work is continuing on the completion of Nation and the basic notes are already being laid down for Unseen Academicals. All other things being equal, I expect to meet most current and, as far as possible, future commitments but will discuss things with the various organisers. Frankly, I would prefer it if people kept things cheerful, because I think there’s time for at least a few more books yet :o)

PS I would just like to draw attention to everyone reading the above that this should be interpreted as ‘I am not dead’. I will, of course, be dead at some future point, as will everybody else. For me, this maybe further off than you think – it’s too soon to tell. I know it’s a very human thing to say “Is there anything I can do”, but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry.

I don’t know about y’all, but it looks like I’ll spend the next month or so re-reading “Mort,” “Small Gods,” “Maskerade,” “Good Omens,” and the rest…

Via Occasional Superheroine: Someone asked presidential candidate Ron Paul who his favorite superhero was… and, well, check out his answer:

“My favorite comic book superhero is Baruch Wane, otherwise known as Batman, in The Batman Chronicles. “The Berlin Batman,” #11 in the series by Paul Pope, details Batman’s attempts to rescue the confiscated works of persecuted Austrian economist, Ludwig von Mises, from Nazi Party hands.

“Batman’s assistant Robin writes in the memoirs, “[Mises] was an advocate of individual liberty, free speech, and free thinking… and so, should I add, the Berlin Batman.” Batman, a Jew in hiding in Nazi Austria, was willing to risk his life for the sake of the promulgation of freedom, and I find this to be super-heroic.”

(Most of this original post was inadvertently lost, thanks to a programming glitch, and unfortunately forgotten. I suspect the rest of my commentary here was along the lines of “Well, isn’t this interesting? I wonder if other presidential candidates could come up with sound ideological reasoning if asked to pick out their favorite superhero?”)

 

The Trials of Shazam #10

Freddy Freeman and Sabina have about half of the powers of Shazam now, and they’re trying to track down Mercury to get his power. Unfortunately, Sabina has a head-start and is tearing through a bunch of magical information brokers to get his location pinned down. And it all comes down to… Mr. Tawky Tawny, the sophisticated talking tiger?!

Verdict: Thumbs up, solely for how awesome and fun Tawky Tawny is. Urbane wit and major mystical face-punchitude? Why didn’t someone dig him out of mothballs sooner?

 

PS238 #28

The elementary school for superpowered kids is on a break, so Ms. Kyle, one of the beloved teachers, takes a long-overdue vacation in Vegas. Two of her students, stretchable Poly Mer and superstrong Julie Finster, think she’s quitting the school and have stowed away, along with the reluctant-to-help evil supergenius Zodon, to try to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, the Flea is tracking some bad guys who want to kidnap Zodon.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Weird, wild, funny stuff with gobs of personality behind it. I wish a heck of a lot more people read this comic.

 

Green Lantern Corps #18

Sodam Yat — member of the Green Lantern Corps, Daxamite who gains superpowers under Earth’s sun, and the new bearer of the mega-powerful Ion symbiote — takes on Superboy Prime. There’s a great deal of hitting, interspaced with flashbacks to Sodam’s rotten childhood among his xenophobic species. But mostly lots of hitting. Lots and lots and lots of hitting.

Verdict: Thumbs down. The thing is, this much hitting is boring.

I’ve got neither the time nor the inclination to do much of a post today. So you’ll have to make do with a few of these random links.

* If you’ve never heard of Rob Liefeld… count yourself lucky. He’s widely considered the worst and most painfully inept artist working in comics today. He got popular in the ’90s, when style-over-substance artwork was all the rage, but unlike a lot of popular artists in the ’90s, he’s actually been getting worse as the years pass. Anyway, here’s a link to a bunch of his worst drawings, with appropriately funny and crude commentary.

* Valerie D’Orazio is printing some excerpts from a book she’s writing about the comics industry and growing up geek. Go check out Part One, then go read the rest of her site for some more goodies.

* Did you know that Orson Welles planned to make a Batman movie with an all-star cast back in the 1940s? Is it true? Definitely not. But it’s probably the best comics-related hoax ever.

* New costumes for Wonder Woman? Of course, they won’t make it into the comics, but they look like good fun.

* We’ve talked before about how much I love heavy metal, right? Check out “Brutal Legend,” a video game coming out next year. Designed by Tim Schafer, who put together games like “The Secret of Monkey Island,” “Full Throttle,” “Grim Fandango,” and “Psychonauts”. Click “Live Gig” to see the game’s trailer — yes, it is the most METAL computer game in history. Vocal actors include Jack Black, Rob Halford, Ronnie James Dio, and Lemmy from Motorhead. Numerous metal bands are providing songs for the soundtrack. I hope they release this for PC so I don’t have to go out and buy a console…

Is it Friday? Yes! Is it night? Ehhh, close enough! Is it fightin’ time? Yeaaah! Time for Friday Night Fights!

From 1959’s Our Army at War #81 by Bob Haney and Ross Andru: Sgt. Rock makes his first appearance in comics by doing something that all good Americans should do as often as possible: beating the snot out Nazi punks!

It’s not just violentastic — it’s All-American Violentastic!

Busy, busy, busy. Do I have time for some comics reviews? Yes, I think I do.

Justice Society of America #11

The “Kingdom Come” Superman is still around. He says his version of Earth has been destroyed. (It has? Has anyone told DC? I think they think it’s still around.) Power Girl is breaking up about being the last survivor of Earth-2. The rest of the team helps save the new Judomaster (a martial arts expert whose special power is that she can’t be hit by anyone) from a bunch of Yakuza super-assassins.

Verdict: Thumbs up. But that might be because I’m a fan of the team. No, not really the highest recommendation, is it?

Lobster Johnson #4

More pulp goodness from Mike Mignola. The evil Memnan Saa has a vril-powered dragon, and he hopes that an army of them will help him conquer the world. Jim Sacks is dead, but he was dead before — his vril-powered armor has empowered his spirit, and he strikes a near-deadly blow against Saa’s forces. Can Lobster Johnson get the good guys — and himself — out safely?

Verdict: Thumbs up. An enthusiastic thumbs up this time. I love pulp and horror, and Mignola may be the best pulp/horror writer the comics industry has ever seen.

Blue Beetle #21

First, let’s all enjoy an inappropriate giggle at that cover, okay?

As for the story, the Spectre, God’s own vengeful and extremely violent Spirit of Judgment, has taken up residence at a local prison, where he’s gorily slaughtering prisoners who were involved in a deadly prison riot. One of the prisoners is Luis, the guy who injured Jaime’s father, and if the guard who Luis attacked dies, the Spectre will kill him, too. Beetle can’t figure out how he’s supposed to stop an omnipotent spirit — both his father and his (secret) girlfriend Traci Thirteen advise him to forgive Luis and let go of his anger. But will something so simple be of any use against a horrific monster like the Spectre?

Verdict: Thumbs up. This issue wasn’t even written by regular writer John Rogers, but the characters of Jaime, his family, and friends are so well-established that the fill-in writer still does an excellent job. I’m not all that happy with the inclusion of the Spectre — any value he used to have as a character has pretty much disappeared. I could write a great deal more about the problems with the Spectre — and I will, later. Not today. Too busy.

 

Believe it or not, if you need to buy a comics fan a present, you can get them books other than comic books.

Astounding, yes, but absolutely true. Comics fans read lots of different kinds of books — science fiction, fantasy, horror, history, science, politics, computers, you name it. But if you’re looking for some comics-themed books they might enjoy, check these out.

(Preliminary note: This list includes several books that I haven’t read yet, but they’ve at least been highly recommended to me in the past. In addition, some of these books aren’t in print anymore, but all can be obtained through used book sellers. I’m linking to Amazon’s descriptions for these books because I buy from them regularly — if you prefer another online bookseller, search for these books on their site.)

Fiction: I’m not a big fan of licensed comic book novels — you know, prose novels about Iron Man and Batman, etc. But superhero fiction about original characters is a sub-genre that I’ve seen a lot more of in recent years. Here are a few that you might find entertaining.

* The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon. This Pulitzer-winning novel follows the lives and careers of a couple of young comic book creators in the 1930s and ’40s.

* Those Who Walk in Darkness by John Ridley. In a world where all super-people have been outlawed, Soledad O’Roark is an MTac — a cop who hunts down and executes metahumans for the crime of being alive.

* Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman. Dr. Impossible is an evil genius. Fatale is a crimefighting cyborg. Can Fatale and Earth’s other heroes stop Impossible from destroying the world? Or will this be the time he finally gets away with it?

Non-fiction: Histories of comics, cultural studies, biographies. There are tons and tons of these kinds of books.

Here’s a sampling of what’s available.

* The Great Women Cartoonists and The Great Women Superheroes by Trina Robbins. Just what they sound like. Lots of illustrations, lots of references, lots of good reading.

* The Comic Book Heroes, Men Of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters and the Birth of the Comic Book and Killing Monsters: Why Children Need Fantasy, Super Heroes, and Make-Believe Violence by Gerard Jones and collaborators. The first two are histories of the comic book industry; the third is a argument in favor of letting kids indulge their natural love of comics, fantasy, and let’s-pretend.

* Schulz and Peanuts by David Michaelis. A new biography of Charles M. Schulz, creator of the “Peanuts” comic strip.

* Comic Book Nation: The Transformation of Youth Culture in America by Bradford W. Wright. Another history of comics, told with an emphasis on how comics and superheroes have impacted American culture.

* Up, Up, and Oy Vey!: How Jewish History, Culture, and Values Shaped the Comic Book Superhero by Simcha Weinstein. Yet another comics history, focusing on the multitude of Jewish writers and artists who created comics and superheroes.

* Superheroes and Philosophy: Truth, Justice, and the Socratic Way edited by Tom Morris and Matt Morris. A collection of essays by philosophers and comics writers, including Mark Waid, Jeph Loeb, and Denny O’Neil, examine morality, ethics, and philosophy through a comic book lens.

Go check ’em out.

In other words: Five lightning-fast reviews:

 

The Spirit #11

It’s the final battle — the Spirit vs. the diabolical El Morte and his army of zombies!

Verdict: Thumbs up! Good art, good story, great drama. Next to the last issue of the brilliant Darwyn Cooke’s stories and art, so pick it up!

 

Sugarshock #1-3

As far as I can tell, this is only available on Dark Horse Comics’ MySpace page. It’s written by Joss Whedon, creator of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Firefly,” and it’s about a really weird but really fun rock band and their long, long, long journey to a Battle of the Bands contest.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Holy guacamole, was this one fun. Just wild, wild fun. Tons of wonderful, awesome, funny stuff. Go read it — it’s pretty short and extremely entertaining.

 

Umbrella Academy #3

What’s left of the Umbrella Academy takes on the Terminauts. Spaceboy appears to be the only one of these guys who’s much good in a fight. Also, Vanya tries to rejoin the family, gets rejected, and runs back to the evil Orchestra Verdammten.

Verdict: Thumbs up. But not as good as the previous issues.

 

Teen Titans #53

The Future Lex Luthor (from the future!) unveils the all-future, all-evil Titans Army. Starro attacks everyone, Miss Martian kacks her future evil self, Robin mopes.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m a sucker for stories about future evil doppelgangers from the future.

 

Grendel: Behold the Devil #1

A sociopathic super-assassin/acclaimed novelist kills a whole bunch of people and is just too wonderful and smart and cool and unstoppable and perfect for anyone else. Oh, and he wears a stupid mask.

Verdict: Thumbs down. The “Grendel” series was one of the things that irritated the tar out of me in the ’90s, and ten years hasn’t made the concept the slightest bit more appealing.