As it turned out, I didn’t go see the midnight showing for “Watchmen” — I’ve been having a really rough time with my allergies lately, and I didn’t much want to spend three hours in a theater sneezing my head off. Another time, maybe.

We got time for reviews? Sure we got time for reviews.

The Goon #32

It’s the big tenth-anniversary issue of Eric Powell’s noir-horror-comedy “The Goon.” We get an extra-large issue featuring the Zombie Priest’s origin, the Goon’s birthday party, the world’s most horrible singing telegram, the monstrous god of hobos, a delicious cake, and a digression about the ins-and-outs of animal-human-sex-humor starring Powell, writer-director Frank Darabont, and a Mr. T robot. All that plus a sketchbook with art by Mike Mignola, Jeff Smith, and Bernie Wrightson, Powell’s notes on the development of the Goon, and Powell’s tales of his trip to Paris.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Just grand, crude, hilarious, awesome stuff.

The Umbrella Academy: Dallas #4

That’s an awesome cover.

Anyway, Seance has been shot in the head and killed, and he still manages to take out sugar-rushed assassins Hazel and Cha Cha! After that, it’s time to reboot Spaceboy, dig up Dr. Pogo’s grave, grab the Kraken, and go time tripping to stop the Rumor and Number 5 from killing President Kennedy. Anything else? Well, there are the nukes, but I’m pretty sure someone knows how to defuse those, right? Right?

Verdict: Another thumbs up. This one is crammed full of whacked-out lunacy, played almost completely straight, and it’s got one of the best cliffhanger endings I’ve seen in quite a while.

 

Green Lantern Corps #21

This issue focuses on Boodikka, former mercenary from the planet Bellatrix, former hotheaded Green Lantern, and current emotionless Alpha Lantern. We get a small hint of her new powers, as she shuts down the programming on a whole herd of Manhunter robots, and we also get a glimpse into her past. For the most part, it’s all a lead-up to the cliffhanger, where she runs into the bounty hunters she used to run with, including her sister, who’s one of the newest Green Lanterns.

Verdict: Thumbs down, I think. The problem with emotionless characters is that it’s awfully hard for readers to get interested in them.

 

The Goon #21

The Goon’s old foe, the Zombie Priest, is confronted by a new zombie priest from out of town. Basically, the old Zombie Priest is in trouble, and this new, more competent zombie priest plans to take things over and take care of the Goon once and for all. Speaking of the Goon, he’s busy losing his dynamite stash to a bunch of street urchins and fighting the world’s largest transvestite. As for Franky, he has a very happy dream about a Velveteen Horsey, which unfortunately ends with a bear. And at the end of the comic, creator Eric Powell shares the joyous news with everyone that he’s officially sponsoring a cage fighter. Cage fighters are apparently really good at kicking people in the head, choking everyone who gets close, and pushing their sponsors in the swing.

Verdict: With colossal transvestites, Velveteen Horseys, and cage fighters, how could this be anything other than an enthusiastic Thumbs Up?

 

The Goon #20

Why didn’t anyone ever tell me about “The Goon” before? I should’ve been reading this years ago!

Background? The Goon is a big tough guy who beats the snot out of monsters from time to time. Franky is his buddy, and he has Little Orphan Annie eyes. Honestly, I think that’s all the background you really need.

Our story this time? Well, we got a moron named Ralph, and he gets eaten by monsters. His mother asks the Goon and Franky to find him, and they go looking in the burlesque house where he was last seen. After the Goon beats up a gorilla, they discover the monsters — a couple of harpies who the Goon had previously destroyed. Also, an undead magician who whines about how much pain he’s in. After this, there is a great deal of fighting.

This is classified as a horror comic, but the monsters here are awfully mild. Honestly, the entire focus of the book is humor. And this is a very funny book. I counted about a dozen gut-buster laughs in 22 pages, which is a mighty good average for any comic book.

And since so much of the story is set in a burlesque house, creator Eric Powell got to do a lot of research and interviews with burlesque performers, which he shares in the letter column. So hey, burlesque!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Seriously, this is such an utterly fun comic. I’m still madder’n heck that I missed out on it for so long.