Archive for Inappropriate!

Green Beans

Yeah, I’ve been remarkably lazy with blogging this month. I mean, I’ve had lots of interesting things to keep me occupied, like work, and eating and sleeping, and um, video games and… umm, well, I’ve basically been very lazy. And I will probably continue to be lazy. Huzzah for sleep!

Anyway, here’s something I noticed the other day I thought was interesting…

The other day, artist Alex Ross released the latest cover he’d made for the “Immortal Hulk” series (and holy cow, do I ever need to review that series, right?), depicting the Hulk and the Thing sitting down in a diner for some chow.

Hopefully, their waitress is about to inform them that they’re going to have to pay for the booth they’re wrecking — and to remind them about the “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” sign they apparently ignored when they came in.

But the other great thing about the cover is the little detail of what the Hulk is eating. ‘Cause the thing a lot of people forget is that, ever since the ’70s, the Hulk has really, really loved eating beans.

And he’s loved making other superheroes eat beans, too.

So be like the Hulk and go eat a nice, big bowl of beans. Hey, it’s the weekend, and you don’t have to worry about stinking up your office, right? Plus you don’t have a gamma-powered digestive system, so whatever you do in the bathroom, you’re probably not going to completely destroy the toilet…

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The Best Sound Effect Ever

I’ve never been able to figure out which comic this panel came from (which is why I’ve never used it for Friday Night Fights), but it never fails to make me happy.

HulkThorBathroom

I bet if you were ever around during a fight where Thor and the Hulk were smashing cars around, you’d need to go to the bathroom, too.

((ADDENDUM: In the comments, Habbakuk identifies the issue as “The Incredible Hulk #300 – mindless Hulk post-Secret Wars rampaging and being fought by all the different heroes before being banished by Doctor Strange to The Crossroads.” Many thanks, Habakkuk!))

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The Pure Wholesomeness of the Silver Age

From February 1966’s Batman #178 by Robert Kanigher, Sheldon Moldoff, and Joe Giella:

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‘Cause the Silver Age was so very wholesome, right?

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Spike’s Peak

I know, I know, just yesterday, I said I was taking a hiatus — and fine, I will, I promise! But sometimes, some crazy fool thing jumps out at you and just demands you hit it with your blogging stick.

See, there’s this preview for Teen Titans #12 that was just released yesterday. I haven’t been reading the series, and couldn’t tell you exactly what’s going on, but apparently, Wonder Girl has some kind of new armor that’s a big to-do. And it looks like this:

That’s a quarter-ton of liquid crazy, mixed with another four hundred pounds of boiling-hot stupid.

That armor consists of a lot of ripped clothing, bizarrely floating hair, and gigantic, completely unsubtly phallic spikes.

We keep talking about how the DC Reboot was basically DC’s attempt to turn back time to the rotten days of 1990s Image Comics. And this is really the most embarrassingly crass example of that aesthetic. It’s a horny 14-year-old boy’s vision of what both femininity and badassery look like — except I think horny 14-year-old boys have a bit more maturity than the people currently running the show at DC.

Come on, Warner Brothers execs, I will throw you a pizza party if one of you guys steps in and calls a halt to the ongoing disaster at your comics division, okay?

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Friday Night Fights: Cop Brutality!

Alright, friends and neighbors, it’s been another long, hard week, and what we all need, aside from a (hopefully) long holiday weekend, is a good old fashioned dose of pain and face-punching in the form of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Our fight today is from the insane glory of June 2006’s Nextwave #4 by Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and Wade von Grawbadger, as Tabitha Smith and Aaron Stack take on the awe-inspiring menace of a crooked cop.

Grrr, annoying fleshy cops.

Oh, and what’s this, blurb at the end of the Nextwave issue?

Hmmmm. I’ve been needing an activity for the weekend…

(goes to look up state, federal, and local laws and regulations concerning dragging insane, corrupt police officers who change into giant robots into alleyways and shooting them a lot)

(fails to find what he was hoping for)

Oh, shucks. Looks like I’ll have to stick with cookouts again…

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My Sense of Humor is Sophisticated and Mature

So I finally got the fourth volume of “Yotsuba&!” recently (out of eight — I still need to get a ton more). I was reading along quite merrily when I hit the following sequence that made me laugh like a loon for a good five minutes.

What’s the setup? Yotsuba and her dad have gone to the grocery store, planning out a super-delicious — no, wait, just a regular-delicious meal, filling up their shopping cart with food…

…when Yotsuba’s dad realizes that he left his wallet at home.

And that wasn’t even the funniest moment in the book. The neighbor kid suffering from heartbreak was what led to a couple of the funniest chapters of the story ever…

You guys are reading this series, right? You better get with it or else…

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Inappropriate!

Nothing much I wanna blather about today, so I thought I’d toss some interesting scans up here.

First, this is my favorite inadvertently disturbing comic cover ever.

Second, Lois Lane should be more careful around robots.

And finally, here’s boring old married couple Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Woman. Did you know Mr. Fantastic has stretching powers?

Susan Richards is a very lucky woman.

Okay, I’ve corrupted y’all enough for one day.

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