Blue Beetle #35

The next-to-the-last issue of “Blue Beetle.”

After Jaime takes out a bunch of Ted Kord’s old rogues gallery, he heads off to a high school dance with his date, smokin’ hot magic girl Traci 13. And of course, the festivities get broken up by more villains — in this case, the Khaji-Da Revolutionary Army, a bunch of aliens wearing Reach armor like Jaime’s. They were all freed from the Reach’s mental control when Jaime destroyed the Reach a while back. Now they’re roaming the galaxy fighting against oppression. They want Jaime to lead them in the battle against oppression on Earth, which includes everyone from China and North Korea, to the United States and the Justice League. When Jaime tells them he’s not down with that, they don’t respond very well.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of fun stuff here, including some nice spotlights for the outstanding supporting cast. Paco supports a pantsless society, by the way. Just one more issue to go, and I’m really going to miss this series.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #7

Loki is trying to turn Thor, in his civilian guise as Donald Blake, into a snake by enchanting the lips of his girlfriend, Jane Foster. If she kisses him, he’ll change into whatever animal is closest to him, and they’re both visiting the zoo’s reptile house. Once Cobra frees all the snakes in the building, things get even more chaotic.

Verdict: Thumbs down. I normally love the “Marvel Adventures” comics, but this one just left me completely flat.

Booster Gold #16

Booster is trapped in Europe during World War I, facing off against the Enemy Ace, one of DC’s more interesting war heroes — he was based on the Red Baron, and though he opposed the Allies, he was considered an extremely honorable and ethical foe.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Enemy Ace is always an interesting character, and it’s fun to see him anywhere.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #6

It’s the amazing origin of Ant-Man! Hank Pym can’t sell his incredible ant-communicator to the gigantic Van Dyne Corporation, and he can’t pay his rent. Is there any hope for his future? Only if he gets recruited by the ants in his garden to save the world from a microscopic invasion of Earth!

Verdict: Thumbs up. This one was insane fun. It’s got ants singing “High Hopes,” an inflatable umbrella, an ant grub saying “IIII wuuuvvv yooouu, Henreee Pyyyym,” and the best line in the story: “No!! They’re thwarting me with song! I hate it when people do that!” This one may be an all-ages book, but it’s definitely something adults can enjoy, too.

Tiny Titans #11

More all-ages fun. This one focuses on Beast Boy’s unrequited infatuation with Terra and the many rocks he gets bopped on his skull. We also meet the new exchange student, Starfire — or Redstar. We get to see Kroc change a light bulb, Plasmus and Aqualad go to the movies, and Little Barda has the cutest giant helmet ever.

Verdict: Thumbs up again. This comic is almost impossibly cute.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #31

Spider-Man, Iron Man, Hulk, Tigra, and Luke Cage go to the beach. They run into Thor, and Iron Man and Luke get into, of all things, a fishing competition. As a result, they end up angering Namor the Sub-Mariner. And every time Namor gets mad about something, he declares war on the surface world. Can the team fight off the Prince of Atlantis and the giant sea monster he brought along?

Verdict: Thumbs up again. Not as overwhelmingly fun as the Ant-Man story, but this one has lots of action, lots of great one-liners, lots of great dialogue, and lots of great character bits. It’s definitely worth a read.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #5

Obviously, our focus in this issue is on Dr. Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts. He’s cruising the various interdimensional realms of magic (lugging a cup of Starbucks coffee. Niiiice.) when he discovers that something has been eating the fabric of reality. Bad news. Who’s his perfect ally to solve this cosmic problem? Apparently, it’s your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. After helping Spidey take down the Vulture (Who knew magical crimefighting involved stripping the Vulture down to his underwear? And how will I ever erase that particular image from my brain?), Strange recounts his origin for the Webslinger, magically enhances his webs to allow them to seal the holes in reality, then it’s off to a bunch of floaty magical dimensions, where they tangle with a bunch of monsters called the Zakimiya — newborns, actually, starving for the raw energy of the universe and spawned from an adult monster of incalculable power. And when they finally meet up with that impossibly powerful monster and his awful, awful haircut, can Spidey’s ability to monologue like Dr. Doom save the day?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of fun bits of characterization here. I love Dr. Strange’s morning mug of mocha, as well as his very personable optimism. And Spidey’s over-the-top arrogant monologues at the end of the story (“How DARE you awaken ME, the completely awesomely cool SPIDER-MAN from my SLUMBER OF EONS. I am TEMPTED to release more than this MERE MOTE of my TRUE POWER!”) really are completely awesomely cool.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #30

Tigra has been hired by a mysterious stranger to tail the Avengers and find out all she can about them. She trails Bruce Banner through a grocery store, Storm and Giant-Girl to a sidewalk cafe, Captain America to an assembly at a local elementary school, and the whole team to a knock-down, drag-out battle against the Griffin. Will Tigra finally step out of the shadows to help? And who was the mysterious figure who hired her?

Verdict: Another thumbs up. Marvel’s kid-friendly comics are some of the best out there, and they make great reading for anyone, either adults or kids. Tigra comes across as an incredibly appealing character, part investigator, part wide-eyed fangirl.

What’s that ya say? Tomorrow’s Halloween? Well, by gum, let’s dig up some nice monstery comics and see how they look?

Hellboy: In the Chapel of Moloch

Hey, Mike Mignola is back writing and drawing Hellboy again! The technical term for this is: “totally sweet.” Hellboy investigates a case where an artist of middling talent takes up residence in a spooky church and sculpts up a honkin’ huge statue of a demon called Moloch. And the statue actually bleeds when you cut it! Turns out the church was the headquarters, centuries ago, of a Moloch-worshiping cult, and the forces of Hell still have influence here. Will Hellboy go for a simple, quiet exorcism? Or a great deal of smashing and breaking and shooting?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Man, it’s great to see Mignola drawing Hellboy again. He ain’t lost a trick, either — this is spooky, moody, eerie — and yeah, very action-packed stuff. And the writing remains top-notch. Mignola drags up all kinds of creepy historical and semi-historical tidbits to help move the story along. A cult that roasted babies alive? A saint who fought in the Crusades even though he’d been decapitated? Ooky, and fun. More please, Mr. Mignola.

Monster-Size Hulk

Four different stories as Hulk fights… MOOOONSTERRRRS! We get one where Hulk takes on Frankenstein’s Monster, possibly even returning him to standard Marvel continuity. The second story features Werewolf by Night. The third one is a short little two-page comedy starring Marvel’s classic giant monsters. The last one is neat — mostly text by Peter David, with a couple of illustrations, as the Hulk takes on Dracula himself.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I loved the one with Frankenstein, and I thought the story with Dracula was outstanding. This is the Dracula from Marvel’s classic ’70s series “Tomb of Dracula” with a ruthless, megalomaniacal, grandstanding Count Dracula — a character I’ve long enjoyed.

Marvel Adventures: The Hulk #13

Marvel’s all-ages books all seem to be exceptionally good, and this one is a lot of fun. The Hulk tangles with the Living Pharaoh, and he’s managed to enslave most of Marvel’s heroes by turning them into mummies! And they’re pretty creepy mummies, too! Can Hulk, Rick Jones, and their pet monkey (Um, what?) figure out a way to stop the Pharaoh in time?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m impressed that they managed to make what’s basically a kids’ version of “Marvel Zombies.” Yes, it’s a little scary, but still fun.

The Goon #29

Skinny is back from the dead as Mr. Wicker — he’s basically a wood-covered, burning zombie. Yeah, takes all kinds. And the orphans get a new playmate — Merle the Werewolf’s son, Roscoe the Werepup. Roscoe claims to be able to fart and whistle at the same time — we’ll see if this amazing talent eventually becomes useful.

Verdict: Thumbs up again. This one has zombies, werewolves, wood monsters, and more. Great, if slightly crude, Halloween reading. But you wouldn’t want the Goon to be anything but.

Tiny Titans #9

The lengthier storyline this time concerns Beppo the Super-Monkey getting hold of a magic wand and then turning everyone into monkeys. This leads, as expected, to an awful lot of hijinx and monkeyshines. We also get to meet the Atom’s family (Snap! Snap!) as they hang out in Batgirl’s flowerbed.

Verdict: Not much happening here, but I’m still giving it a thumbs up, because it included Mallah the Super-Cute Beret-Wearing Gorilla, as well as a sound effect that just said “Monkey”. That’s absolutely awesome, people.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #4

Iron Man, Spider-Man, and the Hulk hang out together, beat up a bank robber, and then discover that the sonic-powered supervillain called Klaw the Unconquerable has a new career: country-western singer. And he performs wearing his supervillain costume, wearing his funky little megaphone in place of his hand, and wearing a spiffy little cowboy hat on top of the whole thing. It’s not the most surreal thing I’ve ever seen in a comic book, but it’s gotta be close. So is Klaw’s new passion of twangy music legit, or is this just another scheme?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Supervillains as country music stars — I swear, that’s absolutely brilliant. And yeah, the other characters are great. The interplay between Spidey, Shellhead, and Greengenes is outstanding. Hulk seems to get the most laughlines — his attempts to live the country-music lifestyle are very funny, and it’s nice that he’s so fond of his pants — but Spidey and Iron Man get their share of great lines, too. Heck, even Klaw’s band members are pretty nicely depicted.

Final Crisis #4

Darkseid’s Anti-Life Equation has been released all over Earth, instantly subjugating most of the Earth with its irresistable message of despair and servitude. A fairly small number of superheroes is still operating, spread out across the world. Officer Turpin is trying to resist becoming Darkseid’s newest incarnation, the Tattooed Man has temporarily joined the good guys, Barry Allen and Wally West escape the new Female Furies, Black Lightning and Green Arrow are captured and exposed to the Anti-Life Equation.

Verdict: Pff, not real thrilled with it. Maybe it’ll make more sense as a complete story. I’ve said that before, I know. But there’s a lot of stuff happening, and not a lot of progress being made in the storyline. Nothing to inspire, excite, or terrify here.

Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #1

A nice extra-length one-shot focusing on Jimmy Olsen. He’s got a handle on the scoop of the decade, and he can’t get enough respect from most people at the Daily Planet — or self-respect for himself — to take the initiative to get the story. A pep talk from Clark Kent gets Jimmy out tracking down the details of his story and quickly running afoul of an assassin called, umm, “Codename: Assassin.” He learns that “C:A” has already killed the Newsboy Legion and Dubbilex, and he has some narrow escapes from the assassin before meeting up with Greg Saunders, the Vigilante, and the last clone of the Guardian in a small town in Arizona.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good fun, great focus on Jimmy as a person, not just a kid in a bow tie. My only regret about this is that it’s a one-shot, designed solely to lead into a new storyline in the Superman comics. This is a great comic, and I think it’s time we saw a new monthly comic about Jimmy.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #29

Odin comes to New York looking for his son, Thor, but Thor doesn’t want to be found — he has a date with Storm, and dad wouldn’t approve of a god dating a mortal. So the rest of the Avengers have to run interference to keep Odin from busting up the date. There’s a subplot with Mr. Hyde and Cobra repeatedly trying and failing to complete a plot to defeat anyone, but ya know, the important stuff here is the Avengers trying to keep Odin occupied so he doesn’t ruin his kid’s date.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good gravy, this is an awesome comic. I don’t care if it says “Marvel Kids” on the cover, everyone should be reading this ’cause it’s so blasted fun.

Greatest Hits #1

This new Vertigo series could be summed up very briefly as “What if the Beatles had superpowers?” In this case, we’re talking about a ’60s British superteam called the Mates, consisting of the unpowered Solicitor (reminds me sorta of Lennon), the superstrong Crusader (seems like McCartney), magic-using Vizier (Harrison), and fun-loving speedster Zipper (definitely Ringo). In this first issue, everyone meets each other, goes through an extra teammate, goes on a rescue at a mine collapse, and enjoys being completely bloody famous. Mixed in with this is the story of Nick Mansfield, a washed-up screenwriter/director and the son of one of the Mates, who is trying to salvage his career by doing a documentary about the old superteam.

Verdict: Thumbs up, so far. Will it be something other than a bunch of old Beatles stories and anecdotes with superpowers tacked on? That remains to be seen. But for now, it’s pretty entertaining. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that it’ll stay good.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #28

The Avengers want to recruit Luke Cage, but he’s more comfortable as a street-level hero making life better for the people in his community. Luckily, Luke’s mother arrives on the scene, scolds him for sassing her, and orders him to go help the team out with some missions. They take out some of Dr. Doom’s robots, wrap up some plant monsters, and stomp on the Brawl Brothers. And in a followup story, the team rescues an interdimensional cat from a tree. All in a day’s work!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Great funny stuff, excellent storytelling. I loved Momma Cage! I also enjoyed the casual diss of Dr. Doom, Luke’s ongoing fascination with Storm, Hammerhead’s inability to shaddap, and the awesome twist on the old saving-the-cat-in-the-tree gag.

Blue Beetle #30

Jaime is still trying to track down the illegal immigrants who’ve managed to give themselves magnetic superpowers. In the process, he interrogates La Dama, tangles with the metahuman wrestlers he fought last issue, argues with the Posse, and plays a round of mini-golf. In the end, Jaime defeats them with Science! — but that’s far from the end of Jaime’s troubles…

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is still, even over the course of multiple new writers, the best comic DC is publishing. And still, over the course of dozens of issues, the dialogue and situations are still what make it so golden. Any comic that features a little boy dancing in a dress and singing “I’m a princess!” and a superhero who manufactures his own paper with dead skin cells and sweat — and feels like he needs to tell people that — is something that I really never ever want to give up. I’ve told y’all a few times to go read this, right? Well, go read this!

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #27

An unusual issue this time, because there’s not just one story. The first part of this issue focuses on Storm, Ant-Man, Spider-Man, the Hulk, and Giant-Girl visiting a county fair. Why? Because they need superheroes to judge pie-eating contests. Anyway, there’s an accident with Ant-Man’s helmet, and everyone gets shrunk. This would be easy for Ant-Man to fix, if only he could get his helmet back from the pig that’s run off with it. Meanwhile, back in the city, Captain America and Iron Man shoot some hoops and round up some spammers.

Verdict: Another thumbs up. And once again, what makes this comic so wonderful is the outstanding dialogue and funny situations. Ant-Man helping a moonshiner improve his still? Hulk chasing pigs for a hug? Storm trapped in cotton candy? Giant-Girl riding a chicken? Iron Man cheating at basketball? And really, the single best line in any comic I picked up last week: “Is Fancy Dan kidding?” This is definitely another comic you need to be reading right now.

 

Ambush Bug: Year None #1

The return of Ambush Bug! HUZZAH!

The world’s greatest comedic, fourth-wall-breaking, teleporting, deelybop-wearing superhero is investigating the murder of Jonni DC, Continuity Cop, accompanied by his ever-loyal buddy, Cheeks the Toy Wonder. We get appearances by Argh!Yle!!, the evil Dr. Doomesque sock, and a new hipster villain called Go-Go Chex, as well as cameos by Yankee Poodle, Egg Fu, Ace the Bathound, ‘Mazing Man, Jean Loring, the Source Wall, the Golden-Age Batgirl, Jack Kirby’s Sandman, and bunch of gratuitous Women in Refrigerators. The entire thing is almost entirely plotless — the only real purpose is to dump an obscene number of jokes on the readers.

Verdict: Thumbs up! This is complete and total brilliance. A six-issue series? Surely this could be padded to a dozen or two? Pretty please?

 

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #1

A new Marvel all-ages book! HUZZAH!

Looks like this will be a team-up book, and the first issue features Spider-Man, Iron Man, and the Hulk. Hercules shows up and asks the trio of heroes to dog-sit his pets for him for a few weeks. No problem, right? Oh, wait, they’re Cerberus and Orthus, giant multi-headed guard dogs of the Underworld. They decide to try to train the dogs, mainly to keep them from using Iron Man as a squeaky chew toy.

Verdict: Another thumbs up. This is another extremely funny book, what with Spider-Man sticking to the Hulk, Iron Man constantly being chewed on by giant dogs, the spectacle of Cerberus being entered into a dog show, and frankly, almost everything the Hulk says and does.

 

Hoverboy #1

A comic subtitled “The Republican Super-Hero!” Umm, huzzah?

This is set up as a revival of an old character from the Golden and Silver Age. Hoverboy is a guy with a bucket on his head who undertakes a mission to spy on Iran and start a little trouble over there. Unfortunately, George W. Bush is not the greatest mapmaker around, and Hoverboy ends up running around Iraq killing Iraqi police officers and generally starting needless trouble for American troops. Who’s going to get the blame for this? Hoverboy? President Georgie? Or some random stooge in the Bush cabinet? Once the main story is over, we’re treated to a bunch of “historical covers and reprints” from old “Hoverboy” comics.

Verdict: Ehh, bit of a mixed bag. The main story is okay, but not particularly any grand shakes. I actually graded them down a little for dropping this so close to the end of Bush’s term; publish it in 2003-2005, when everyone was in “All Must Love Bush” mode, and I’d give ’em marks for courage, but now, when he’s got approval ratings around 20%? That’s jumping onto the dogpile after the ref’s already blown the whistle. I’m not even sure the usual Limbaughian extremists will even bother issuing the standard denunciations and fatwas at this point…

Anyway, the cover gallery is actually funnier, what with the ad for the “Hoverboy Flying Belt” from the ’40s that tells kids that they’ll really be able to fly, a Hoverboy PSA that warns kids about the dangers of Canadians, and a reprint of a story that features Hoverboy killing every animal in a zoo while searching for a Japanese detainee. The cover gallery is mostly the work of Marcus Moore, who really does a great job of re-creating the look of various old comics.

 

Tiny Titans #6

This issue is, even by the standards set by the previous stories, uncommonly hilarious. We’ve got Blue Beetle and Supergirl getting introduced to the group; we’ve got another new crop of Titans, including Power Boy, Zatara, Li’l Barda, Lagoon Boy, Vulcan Jr., and Hawk and Dove; we’ve got Blue Beetle’s talking backpack; and we’ve got “At Home with the Trigons,” a tale of Raven and her demonic but loveable dad, Trigon.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Like I said, this one is just amazingly funny, especially Blue Beetle’s backpack antics and the wonderful banter between cynical Raven and her terrifyingly huggable dad. But if there’s anything that just puts it over the top, it’s got to be Li’l Barda.

 

Holy guacamole, someone call Cute Overload!

 

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #26

The Avengers get recruited by the rudest aliens in the universe to help stop Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds, from eating a distant planet. Galactus and the Silver Surfer have the team on the ropes, until Ant-Man finds the Ultimate Nullifier — Galactus warns them that activating it would destroy light-years’ worth of outer-space real estate… so Spidey turns it on. D’oh! No, wait, actually, it just nullifies everyone’s power differences — in other words, it’s leveled the playing field, so Galactus can’t just wipe them all out. So instead, they all decide to play games to decide whether Galactus will be able to eat the planet. It sounds ridiculous, but it actually works very well. Everyone plays baseball, poker, and chess, but in the end, it’s easier just to find a new meal for Galactus…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very funny stuff here, including Captain America’s not-so-inspiring speech, Galactus swinging a baseball bat, and just about every joke Spider-Man makes. Spidey even gets a rare display of intellect here, as he deduces the real function of the Nullifier. Lots and lots of fun here — I’m really glad Jeff Parker is back writing this comic.