From February 1966’s Batman #178 by Robert Kanigher, Sheldon Moldoff, and Joe Giella:

‘Cause the Silver Age was so very wholesome, right?

Punk Rock Jesus #6

Much of the final issue focuses on Thomas McKael, the former IRA terrorist who became the security chief for the J2 project. We see his past, captured by the police and learning for the first time that his father planned to turn evidence against the IRA to keep his family safe. But Thomas’ uncle killed his parents to turn him into the terrorist he thought he should be. Soon enough, Thomas escapes from jail, heads for home and kills his uncle, then turns himself back in to the cops, where he has a vision of the Virgin Mary, who warns him that if he ever takes another life, she’ll send him to Hell.

But back to the present. Chris, the kid who may be the clone of Jesus Christ, and his punk rock band, the Flak Jackets, are preparing to play a concert in Jerusalem, just to anger as many religions as they can. And they’re entirely successful — someone shoots a rocket at them and kills their lead guitarist, and extremists kidnap Chris. Thomas saves him, but only by killing a number of other terrorists. Distraught, he asks Chris if he’s really the Son of God, or if he’s just damned himself for no reason. Chris scuttles the tour.

Slate, meanwhile, destroys the J2 complex to protect himself from criminal prosecution, leading Chris, Dr. Epstein, and her daughter Rebekah to go on TV to announce the bombshell revelation that Rebekah is actually Chris’ twin sister. The news prompts the New American Christians to attack the studio. Can everyone escape, or will someone make the ultimate sacrifice?

Verdict: Thumbs up. If I’ve got a complaint, it’s that it ends too abruptly. But I think that’s a minor nitpick, because this is still a glorious, visceral, action-packed read. The whole series has always teased blasphemy, but it’s said a lot more important stuff about belief, friendship, duty, and family. It’s a great series — I hope you got to read it all the way through, but if you didn’t, keep your eyes peeled for the trade paperback.

Batman Inc. #6

Batman goes after Talia, the head of Leviathan, to try to get her to leave Gotham and Damian alone. Nothing doing — she wants Batman dead, she wants Batman Inc. dead, she really wouldn’t mind too much seeing Damian dead. Will Batman be able to survive the hordes of cloned Man-Bats, fanatical cultists, and brainwashed children attacking him? Will the Knight, the Squire, Halo, Looker, Freight Train, and Batwing live or die? Will the rest of the Bat-family ever even leave the Batcave?

Verdict: Thumbs up. An extremely action-packed and tense story. And I’ll be honest, I don’t really care much whether Batman or Damian survive — it’s their comic, and they’re popular, money-making characters, so of course they’ll survive. But dang, I’m nervous about the survival chances of the Knight and Squire…

Today’s Cool Links:

• Ya like horror gaming? Check out this list of last year’s best indie horror games.
• Fred at the Slacktivist is collecting stories from people who got hassled by misguided Christians for playing Dungeons and Dragons. It’s a good read, with lots of interesting anecdotes in the comments.
• Cory Doctorow has an interesting article on how writers create fictional characters.

It’s the only logical explanation.

Awright, kids, it’s the last weekend before Christmas, and if you think we’re gonna go easy on the harmless cartoon violence just for the sake of the holiday, you’re sadly mistaken. It’s mere days from Christmas, and it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s festive rannygazoo comes to us from February 2007’s DCU Infinite Holiday Special #1, in the story “Yes, Tyrone, There is a Santa Claus” by Kelley Puckett and Pete Woods. Superman has decided to help a family in need, and because the kids don’t believe in Santa Claus, he’s decided to get dressed up as Old St. Nick to rekindle their love of the holiday. However, it turns out that Batman does not approve of the masquerade.

Yes, Batman, we know. Your parents are DEEAAAAAAD!

So Batman talks Superman out of the charade, but the Man of Steel later decides he’ll pay the family a visit anyway. And what to his wondering eyes should appear…?

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Okay, kiddios, the days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, the holidays are already threatening to overwhelm us, and we all need a break from workweek stress. Button up your Dungarees, kids, it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from 2007’s Batman: Jekyll and Hyde by Paul Jenkins, Jae Lee, and Sean Phillips. Batman’s facing off against some mooks, and he demonstrates why it’s never smart to wear your gun tucked into your waistband.

Yep, the night just got a lot more uncomfortable, didn’t it?

Hey, you ready for Friday Night Fights? How ’bout you over there, you ready for Friday Night Fights? And you in the back, yeah, the guy wearing the onesie, you ready for Friday Night Fights? Well, let’s get to it then — it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from February 2005’s Teen Titans #19 by Geoff Johns, Mike McKone, Marlo Alquiza, and Jeromy Cox, in which Tim Drake as Robin goes traveling through time and meets up with Tim Drake as Batman. Turns out they don’t get along.

Okay, y’all have a great weekend, and I’ll see you guys next week…

Batman #12

This issue introduces us to a new supporting character in the Bat-family, one who we’ve actually seen a few times in the background of previous stories. Meet Harper Row, a young lady living in a rough neighborhood. She works as an electrician underneath Gotham City, trying to keep the city’s aging infrastructure functioning. She lives with her brother, who has to deal with gay-bashing thugs at school and on the streets way too often. Harper gets to briefly hobnob with Gotham’s elite after winning a ticket to a Wayne charity event. Soon afterwards, she gets a punk-rock haircut (in response to bullies beating up her brother and slashing his hair). And soon after that, she and her brother have a close encounter with the Batman after he saves them from an attack. This sets off Harper’s own obsession with the Dark Knight, as she goes on to use her job skills to discover how Batman moves about the city. Will she be able to aid Batman, or is her adventuresome spirit going to get her into more trouble?

Verdict: Thumbs up. A nice change-up and a focus on a new character — Scott Snyder had hoped to use either Cassandra Cain or Stephanie Brown, but of course, they got nixed by DC (the DiDio/Johns/Lee machine has reasonlessly decided it hates both characters), so he came up with this new character. She’s extremely likeable and fun, and I look forward to seeing more of her. And kudos to Becky Cloonan, the first woman to ever draw an issue of either “Batman” or “Detective Comics” — she does a great job — very expressive, fun artwork, and I’m hoping we’ll see more of her, too.

Batgirl #12

Barbara is visiting Detective McKenna, a dirty cop with an obsession with Batgirl, hoping to get a lead on Knightfall and her crew of superpowered murderers. But they get a visit from Batwoman, who has been put on the trail of McKenna by the D.E.O. She has no trouble cleaning Batgirl’s clock — of course, Batgirl seems to spend every issue getting her ass kicked. But they team up when Knightfall calls McKenna and demands Batgirl return to them so they can kill her. Can they handle the superpowered lunatics in the Disgraced? And will they learn the secrets Knightfall is hiding?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I am getting tired of everyone using Babs Gordon as a punching bag, but this was mostly an excellent issue. Good dialogue and action, good character work for both Batgirl and Batwoman. And it’s nice to see Babs’ psychotic brother, James Jr., still keeping his hand in the game.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Some sad news to start the week off: Joe Kubert has died at the age of 85. The man drew the best dang war comics the world has ever seen — and seriously, if you’ve never done so, go out and read as many of Kubert’s Sgt. Rock comics as you can — and he founded the Kubert School to teach people how to make good comics. Hats off for one of the best guys in the comics biz.
• Dang, Fantagraphics, this is just low-class. Not even DC or Marvel go casually dissing independent comics creators, especially ones as successful and interesting as Molly Crabapple. It’s deeply disappointing that the foremost independent comics publisher thinks it’s okay to treat any comics creator this way.
• A great essay by a deaf man who gets a new hearing aid and is able to hear music for the very first time.
• We all need more laughter in our lives.

The Massive #2

Callum Israel and the crew of the Kapital continue to search for their missing shipmates and for their sister ship, the Massive, which vanished during the world’s environmental and economic breakdown — all while trying to avoid attack by pirates off the coast of Kamchatka. Amongst all this, we also get flashbacks to the crew’s visit to a partially submerged Hong Kong, as well as some quick looks at all the different ways the ecological collapse messed the world up.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Still a fascinating look at how the world goes on after the world ends. Great tension in Kamchatka and action in Hong Kong, and the brief looks at how the Crash affected everything from ships at sea, satellites in the skies, and fuel supplies in North America.

Atomic Robo Presents Real Science Adventures #4

More short stories in this Atomic Robo anthology. The Sparrow runs into serious trouble behind German lines. Robo learns that Bruce Lee has some more tricks up his sleeves, and he tries to pick up his comic book habits from his youth during the grim-and-gritty ’90s. Plus a visit to a Japanese Atomic Robo, and a look at Jenkins’ past.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good stuff all around. Not quite as amazing as the previous issue of this book, but still a lot of fun.

Batman #11

Batman faces off with Owlman, who claims to be his brother, Thomas Wayne, Jr. For the most part, Owlman repeatedly cleans Batman’s clock, while Bats gets a number of pretty lucky breaks. Then Bruce and Dick Grayson sit around and try to figure out whether Owlman was really who he said he was.

Verdict: Ehh, sorry, but thumbs down. It was a slugfest, followed by a talkfest, and neither one was particularly entertaining.

Today’s Cool Links:

• The Final Word on why Marvel movies are better than DC movies.
• One is starting to think that Dan DiDio just doesn’t really think women belong in comics.
• I bet most of y’all have seen Cookie Monster’s “Share It Maybe” video, but here it is anyway…

The Hypernaturals #1

Think of this new series as an alternate world Legion of Super-Heroes. And it’s written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, the creators of one of the most beloved (by fans, not so much by DC) versions of the Legion ever.

Our setting is the distant future, a hundred years after the Quantinuum AI “achieved Singularity and refashioned human galactic culture.” Superhumans are moderately common, and the best of the best are selected to serve five-year terms as members of the Hypernaturals, the galaxy’s greatest superteam. We get introduced to them through a Hypernaturals team from seven years ago, including Clone 45, Bewilder, Thinkwell, Kobalt Blue, and Shard as they battle a super-genius called Sublime, who has obtained a weapon that he hopes to use to kill off the Quantinuum AI that has become a near-god.

But before we can even see how that turned out, we jump forward to the present-day. Clone 45 is a down-and-out schlub, Bewilder is the media relations contact for the current Hypernaturals team, Thinkwell is retired — and the new Hypernaturals team have all been killed in their first mission — along with everyone else on the planet 28 Kosov. Bewilder and Thinkwell are chosen to investigate the disaster, along with Shoal, a newbie with the power to control strangelets, and DeeDee, who came in second place in the competition to be in the last Hypernaturals team and wear the high-tech Halfshell powered armor. Will the team discover what happened on 28 Kosov? Or are they as doomed as the last team of heroes?

Verdict: Thumbs up. An excellent debut issue, with lots of very interesting characters, a semi-familiar setting, great dialogue and action. So far, characters are where this first issue really shines — I want to find out a lot more about all these people, and I hope this series continues for a while.

Batman Inc. #2

This issue focuses almost entirely on Talia al Ghul, daughter of Ra’s al Ghul, mother of Damian Wayne. We watch her childhood being trained as an assassin and mostly being ignored by her father. He’ll buy her anything she wants, but she doesn’t know her mother and her father doesn’t really value her as much as he’d value a male heir.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I was actually a bit nervous about this one — that Talia would be portrayed solely as a seductress. As it is, we get a much more femme fatale view of her — at least as competent as her father or Batman, and possibly more dangerous. Yes, she’s seductive, but she’s also smart, a devastating fighter and assassin, and as ruthless a leader as her father is. It’s also clever the way we get some flashbacks into Batman’s most famous battles against Ra’s. All in all, I was fairly happy with it.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Turns out the DC Reboot was a disaster from the start, with no planning, no foresight, and ultimately no future. Here’s to the day DiDio, Johns, and Lee get their walking papers.
• A bunch of Stephanie Brown fans have started a campaign to get the former (and best) Batgirl back in comics.
• If you like the “Meet the Team” videos for the Team Fortress 2 computer game (and you should like ’em, ’cause they’re very funny), the final one — “Meet the Pyro” — has been released.

Batman #10

Spoilers if you haven’t seen this issue. Not that I’m sure it matters, ’cause everyone’s talking about it. But spoilers anyway.

The Court of Owls is almost completely shut down, leading to the Batman tracking their inner circle to their hideout — and arriving to find all of them dead by poison. So that’s the case wrapped up, right? Maybe not — Bats realizes he’s missed a clue, and it leads him to a long-deserted insane asylum just for children, closed after scandals about child abuse. And there, Batman finds the supposedly dead Lincoln Marsh, who injected himself with the Talon serum so he’d be able to resurrect himself.

Lincoln tells Batman that his mother had been injured in a car accident before he was born, and his parents secretly placed him in the children’s home, which had a good reputation when he was a child, in order to keep him safe from the family’s enemies. But when his parents were killed by a lone gunman in Crime Alley, he was forgotten and suffered years of abuse and neglect until he was taken in by the Court of Owls. He tells Batman that his real name is Thomas Wayne Jr., and he’s the new Owlman.

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s a good story, with good action, great tension and mood, nice dialogue, and a pretty good twist. I’m not all that bugged by Bruce Wayne having a long lost brother — Superman’s supposed to be the last Kryptonian, and no one complains about all his relatives who’ve survived. The “legend of the Bat” wasn’t too badly damaged when everyone thought Dr. Hurt might be Bruce’s father, and I don’t see Thomas Wayne Jr. as a particularly bad plot development. My only concern is that there are a lot of revelations going on lately about the Bat family — the deaths of the Flying Graysons kept Dick Grayson from being turned into a Talon, Dick’s own great-grandfather is a Talon, Mr. Freeze’s Nora isn’t actually his wife, etc. They need to slow the shocking revelations down, or they’ll lose their ability to shock.

The Amazing Spider-Man #687

Dr. Octopus is mentally controlling the Avengers as they attack Spidey, the Black Widow, Silver Sable, and the temporarily turncoat Mysterio. After Mysterio finally deactivates the Octobots with an electromagnetic pulse, the rest of the Avengers go to work trying to stop Doc Ock’s satellites before he can use them to burn the Earth to a cinder. Spidey and Silver Sable head for Ock’s secret hideout to keep him from activating the satellite web, but run into Rhino, who’s willing to let the world be destroyed because he still hasn’t gotten over his wife’s death — and he’s willing to make sure that he and Silver Sable drown. Spidey runs on to confront Dr. Octopus, but he may not be strong enough to escape the villain’s new and improved robot arms. Is there any way for Peter to save the world and make sure no one dies in the catastrophe?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good story, good action — heck, there’s a lot packed into this issue. It feels like it’s a double-sized comic, but it isn’t. Any time you can make a regular-length comic feel like an annual, that’s pretty dang good.

Demon Knights #10

After foiling a bunch of pirates who sail the seas on top of a giant sea monster, our heroes get into the main story. They’ve traveled to a town under siege by giant, savage monsters — and they all seem to be coming from the ancient ruins of Camelot! As they ride toward the old castle, they’re attacked by a giant wolf which, when defeated, turns into a normal wolf. All the animals around, in fact, appear to have been changed into giant monsters. When they finally reach Camelot, they discover it’s been turned into a foreboding citadel, and they’re attacked by the resurrected corpse of King Arthur himself! But before they can do anything about the zombie king, all the team but Madame Xanadu are themselves changed into giant monsters!

Verdict: Thumbs up, even if only for Vandal Savage’s hilarious line: “Look! It’s a pirate sea serpent! That is something I have never shouted before!“