Daylight Savings Time is really doin’ a number on my ability to stay awake and concentrate on much of anything, so I ain’t thought of a thing worth blogging about.

So instead, here’s a couple panels of Deadpool plugging this blog.

Because you know a guy aware of the Fourth Wall is probably reading Z-list comics blogs, right?

(Thanks to Derek Moreland for the scans)

(Also, hoping I didn’t have to reduce that too small for y’all to be able to read.)

Madame Xanadu #13

In our current setting of 1940, Nimue’s ability to foretell the future isn’t helping her get any closer to the mysterious and murderous Al Nar and his diabolical black hound, so she turns to some of her other magical gifts — she sneaks into the city morgue and talks to a corpse. And she is able to get a new lead — the name of Richard Miller, a friend of both of the murdered men. But Miller isn’t interested in any spooky stories, leaving him open to attack by Al Nar. And in our flashbacks to 1493, Nimue’s close relationship with a local farm girl is getting a lot of hostile attention from the Inquisition. Can Madame Xanadu save herself and her friend before Torquemada decides to take them into custody?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Another beautiful, moody, and eerie story by Matt Wagner and William Kaluta, whose lush, retro art style is perfect for a comic set in the ’40s. My favorite scenes here have got to be the mystical interrogation of the corpse in the morgue, which is jammed full of neat magical bits, and the scene where Madame Xanadu meets Wesley Dodds, the Golden Age Sandman.

Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #2

Zombie Head Deadpool and his caveman headhunter slaves have captured Regular Deadpool and his dishy A.I.M scientist buddy Dr. Betty. He tells his origin story — how he originated in the Marvel Zombies universe and got stuck here without the rest of his body. And speaking of the rest of his body, Zombie Head Deadpool has decided he’d like Regular Deadpool’s body and assigns some of his headhunter goons to lop off Wade’s noggin. But Regular Deadpool plans it out perfectly and gets them to chop off his arm instead. What the? Then he grabs his arm, Dr. Betty, and Zombie Head Deadpool and escapes from the cavemen. Then they fight off some dinosaurs and get captured by Hydra.

Verdict: Thumbs down. When you read all of that synopsis, it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that’d be boring, does it? But it’s actually boring. And you really gotta work to make zombie heads, dishy evil scientists, a chopped-off arm, headhunter cavemen, and dinosaurs boring.

Well, first, I had some news to tell y’all back on Wednesday, and the LubbockOnline blogs went kerplooey just in time to make my post extra difficult to find. So if you ain’t heard my news yet, go read this.

Now that you’re up to speed on what’s been happening with me — yes, I’m safely moved in here, still working on unpacking my book boxes, sweating like a stuck pig every time I go outside, and starting my first day at the new job this morning. How do you tie a tie again? I can just use a square knot, right?

And now: Comics reviews.

Wednesday Comics #1

This is DC’s new weekly series, and it looks pretty cool. When you unfold the comic-sized magazine, it’s as large as a newspaper, and the stories they have here have some outstanding pedigrees. You’ve got stuff here like Metamorpho by Neil Gaiman and Michael Allred, Adam Strange by Paul Pope, Kamandi by Dave Gibbons and Ryan Sook, Supergirl by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner, Hawkman by Kyle Baker, and Sgt. Rock by Adam Kubert and Joe Kubert. Let me repeat that last one for emphasis — the Kuberts on Sgt. Rock! That one little thing was what got me to commit to getting at least the first issue.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Too many stories to summarize here, but most of these are pretty good, and some of them are very, very good. But while this is a thumbs-up… I’m not planning on continuing to get the series. It’s an expensive weekly series where each story gets just one page per week — I can’t afford to shell out that kind of dough. I wish DC good luck with this, but I’m waiting for the eventual trade paperbacks for these.

Justice League: Cry for Justice #1

So here’s James Robinson’s big “Justice League” story. Hal Jordan makes a big pompous speech and “quits” the Justice League, along with Green Arrow, so they can go look for justice. Or something. Elsewhere, the Atoms — Ray Palmer and Ryan Choi — beat up Killer Moth and his gang in Albuquerque, Mikaal Tomas, former Starman and supporting cast member of Robinson’s classic ’90s “Starman” series, learns that his boyfriend has been murdered, and Congorilla, an old Silver Age character, a white hunter who could switch minds with a powerful gold-colored gorilla (Because shut up, that’s why), must deal with the murders of his ape tribe, his human body, and even the African hero called Freedom Beast.

Verdict: A little from Column A, a little from Column B. I do have some very serious quibbles about a lot of this. I mean, isn’t Killer Moth a giant insect monster these days? Would Ray Palmer torture someone the same way his ex-wife killed Sue Dibny? And pretty please, with sugar on top, could Hal Jordan kindly shaddap? I don’t hate this as much as some people did – I am looking forward to seeing Robinson writing Mikaal Tomas again, and the Congorilla sequence really is outstanding. The bonus material in the back is also pretty nice. But definitely a very mixed bag…

Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #1

Marvel’s lunatic mercenary gets a second ongoing series here, starting out by getting launched out of a space station by the mad scientists of A.I.M. in an unshielded and very hot escape pod and crashing down in the Savage Land. He’s supposed to steal a package for A.I.M., but he doesn’t know what it is. He meets up with Ka-Zar, who directs him to a site where the local cavemen are building a giant statue that looks exactly like him. He meets up with Dr. Betty Swanson, a dishy A.I.M. agent, and his attempts to impress her end with both of them being captured by the cavemen. That’s when they discover what the package actually is — the head of Zombie Deadpool from the various “Marvel Zombies” series.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Not sure if Deadpool really needed two different series, but I’m down for anything that involves a crazy wisecracking assassin lugging a zombified alternate-version of his own head around as a sidekick.

Well, Bahlactus has requested all black-and-white battles for the current round of Friday Night Fights, which is too bad, ’cause I keep running across great fights that look awesome in color and just awful in monochrome. Still, one must persevere, and I found one this week that didn’t look too muddy…

From 2007’s Deadpool-GLI Summer Fun Spectacular by Dan Slott, Fabian Nicieza, and Kieron Dwyer: the mighty Squirrel Girl boots Deadpool in the butt.

 

Love that “SPANQ” sound effect…

Man alive, I am one lazy, lazy comics reviewer. You’d think these were hard reviews. But they ain’t. I’m just lazy.

Let’s get after it.

 

B.P.R.D.: Garden of Souls #5

The conclusion of this storyline. Not quite as many spooky scares, but much, much more of Abe Sapien unleashing the forces of scaly-fishman whup-ass on the freaky oldsters in their steampunk armor and on Edward, the oversized muscleman.

It also includes the following panel.

 

That may not be the coolest cow in the world, but it’s sure close to the top of the list.

Verdict: Thumbs up. A nice thrill-ride to finish off all the horror. Grand fun.

 

Countdown #42

Piper and Trickster have been captured and shackled together with manacles that could kill them if they try to break them. Holly Robinson, former Catwoman, is hanging out Harley Quinn and a bunch of Amazons. Donna Troy, Jason Todd, and the renegade Monitor get the current Atom, Ryan Choi, to take them to the hyper-miniaturized “Palmerverse” to find the previous Atom, Ray Palmer. Mary Marvel meets up with the Riddler, then sends Clayface into orbit. And way too many of the pictures of Mary in this issue are upskirt shots. Siiiigh. Fine, fine, I recognize that there’s not much of a way to avoid it with that costume, but after a certain point, it just seems creepy.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Boring.

 

Deadpool/GLI Summer Fun Spectacular

Cute, fun, and funny. I’ve never much seen the point of Deadpool, but the Great Lakes Avengers (now calling themselves the Great Lakes Initiative) are always good for a larf. Squirrel Girl meets up with her ex-boyfriend Speedball, who’s now grim and gritty and spiky and calling himself Penance. A.I.M uses the Greek god Dionysus to get every superhero in the world drunk. Flatman shows off his Origami-Fu. Mr. Immortal dies a lot. Squirrel Girl also visits the future, and we get nearly-official confirmation that she is indeed the baddest badass in the Marvel Universe.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Squirrel Girl rocks. Deal with it, fanboy.

 

Green Lantern #21

The aftermath of the Green Lantern Corps’ first battle with the Sinestro Corps. Hal Jordan fights the Parallaxized Kyle Rayner. Hal is confronted with his only real fear. Ready for it? Ready? He’s afraid… that when his father died in a jet crash… that he was afraid.

That’s it? That’s the great fear?

Where’s my Whackin’ Stick?

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

Verdict: It’s WHACK!

 

Martha Washington Dies

Martha Washington, Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons’ futuristic soldier and freedom fighter from the classic “Give Me Liberty,” is now 100 years old. She dies.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Way, way too short. Half the comic is devoted to promos for next year’s collection of all the Martha Washington stories.

Okay, that’s all of ’em I got. New comics coming in tomorrow.