Big Zombie on Campus

CityofLivingDead

Okay, most of y’all saw the news story on Friday about the University of Florida making a humorous emergency plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. But most of y’all didn’t get to see the actual emergency plan itself, mainly because UF came over with an attack of “Oh crap, people think this is awesome” syndrome and removed the PDF from their site.

But Google automatically makes HTML documents of all PDFs they find.

Here it is.

Go read it, it’s hilarious.

EDIT: Oh, poo, it’s been deleted for good now. C’mon, Google, it’s worth keeping around…

Comments off

Friday Night Fights: Bad Pun Theater!

Another week over, time for another couple days off. If you’re anything like me, you need a decent trigger to really get the weekend started — and there’s no better trigger for the weekend than FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This week, we turn to November 1966’s Batman #186 and the story “Commissioner Gordon’s Death Threat” by Gardner Fox, Sheldon Moldoff, and Joe Giella. Here, we see Robin taking on some generic mooks:

FNF-RobinBW

“A helping of soles”?! Dagblast it, Boy Wonder, I could forgive a bad pun, but not a colossally inept one!

Thanks a lot, Robin, now my whole weekend is ruined. RUINED! I may as well go back to work now.

Comments off

Portable Holes

TinyTitans20

Tiny Titans #20

Raven has a great shortcut to school — she just conjures a black hole and steps through to get where she wants to go. Soon enough, everyone in school is using black holes to get around school and to get school supplies they forgot at home. Is there a downside? Not really, other than Beast Boy accidentally hitting himself in the face with a rock. But Terra can do that for him all by herself. Meanwhile, Alfred doesn’t trust the kids to play in the Batcave unsupervised, so he sends a penguin along to keep an eye on things. Of course, the kids soon get into mischief, with Beast Boy trying on a jetpack. Does anyone else suspect this is going to end with everyone standing in a corner?

Verdict: Thumbs up, as always. Beast Boy is the star this issue, since he’s the guy who gets into all the trouble, but Action Alfred is always fun to watch.

BillyBatson8

Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam! #8

Dr. Sivana is at the controls of a new Mr. Atom robot, now powered by the Marvels’ magic lightning and by Tawky Tawny! The robot is stronger than ever, and every time Captain Marvel or Mary Marvel hit it, Tawny feels all the pain. Even worse, the battle releases Kull, who immediately wants his revenge on Captain Marvel. Luckily, Mary remembers something from science class, using some copper wire and some magic lightning to turn Kull into an electromagnet. Can the Marvels use the magnetic Kull to take care of Sivana and Mr. Atom and save Tawny at the same time?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice to see a little comic-book science make its appearance here with Mary’s electromagnet. Cute art and cute story, too. My only complaint? Even for the conclusion of a lengthy storyarc, this felt a little lightweight.

Comments off

Dogs and Demons

BeastsofBurden1

Beasts of Burden #1

This is what you get if you cross Marvel’s “Pet Avengers” with Dark Horse’s “B.P.R.D.” — a bunch of dogs and cats investigating supernatural threats in a small town called Burden Hill. And it’s written by Evan Dorkin and illustrated by Jill Thompson. So yeah, color me very, very intrigued.

First of all, several of the Beasts’ previous adventures are already online — go read ’em and enjoy ’em.

Our story starts off with a bunch of the dogs and a couple of the cats are sitting around remarking on how little weird stuff has been going on recently — of course, this cues a rain of frogs. In fact, once the frogs have all hit the ground, they start eating each other! While the pets round up the rest of their group, however, the rest of the frogs hop off into the deep, dark woods. And there’s something weird and scary going on here — one of the dogs goes missing, one of the cats goes missing… and the dogs find a bloody, decapitated deer head in a clearing. The culprit? A giant, talking demonic frog. Do a bunch of dogs and a cat stand any chance against a 20-foot-tall frog that wants to eat them all?

Verdict: Thumbs up. So much horrorific, gross fun. Excellently drawn personalities on these guys, too — Puggsly makes great comic relief, and the mysteries surrounding Rex’s unusual abilities are well-done, too. I really want to see a lot more of this comic, and soon. Go pick it up, if you haven’t already.

Madame-Xanadu15

Madame Xanadu #15

Centuries ago, Richard Miller’s ancestors were Jews hiding in a Spain run by the Inquisition. But now, he’s on the run from a mysterious murderer and his malign hound seeking revenge on everyone in his family line. Nimue intervenes and forces the villains to assume their true form — a single djinn charged to commit murders through the centuries. Is Madame Xanadu powerful enough to stop the monster? Perhaps… with some help from the Golden Age Sandman!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Great suspense, and the Sandman’s appearance here is a big thrill. And Michael Wm. Kaluta‘s artwork has been divine throughout this entire storyarc.

Comments off

Battle Royale with Cheese

Man, I’ve spent too many days in a row reviewing comics (Yes, dangit, two days in a row is a lot. Because shut up, that’s why.), and I’m starting to run low on unreviewed comics besides. So, inspired by this from Snell and this from Kalinara, y’all give me your opinions on the vital question of WHO WOULD WIN?

The combatants:

HulkvsSuperman

Superman vs. the Hulk!

Both widely considered the strongest heroes in their individual universes, any conflict between these two often leads to widespread property damage. With his larger variety of powers (flight, heat vision, freezing breath, super-ventriloquism), the Man of Steel often ends up the victor in crossovers that feature these two characters, but the Jade Giant’s near-limitless strength (The madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets) means you can never count him out before the final bell.

We’ll go with a best-two-out-of-three battle.

Contest 1:

PillowFight

Pillow Fighting!

Contest 2:

Coin-op Galaga!

Contest 3:

Huggin’ Bunnies!

WHO WOULD WIN???

(My picks are in the comments…)

Comments off

Beauty and Brains

Detective857

Detective Comics #857

So it’s the end of our first storyarc, as Kate Kane bails on the ritzy party to fight Alice and her goons. Abbot and his shapeshifting pals tag along to help out. Alice has kidnapped Kate’s father, a colonel at the local military base — the plan is to take a big shipment of chemical weapons, hijack a plane over Gotham, and gas the whole city into extinction. No big spoiler that Batwoman saves the city — it’s what happens during her confrontation with Alice that’s really interesting. In the backup feature, the Question continues her investigation of the kidnapping ring.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I haven’t really said enough about the amazing artwork here by J.H. Williams III. Every panel is a masterpiece of design and layout — perhaps none better than the first three pages, especially the way pages 2 and 3 mirror each other, or the yin-yang battle between Batwoman and Alice. This is developing into one of the richest and most rewarding comics out there, and you should go pick yourself up a copy as soon as you can.

Hercules135

The Incredible Hercules #135

Hercules’ name may be on the cover, but he doesn’t actually appear inside this issue. Instead, the emphasis is all on boy genius Amadeus Cho, who is simultaneously playing D&D with as a child with evil boy genius Pythagoras Dupree, and fighting during World War II against Doctor Japanazi, the Man with Two Evil Axis Brains! But does Amadeus have a chance to win when his foes are able to determine everything that can happen to him?

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is the most abstractly brainy comic I’ve read in a while, and what makes that even more awesome is that it didn’t make me feel like a moron when I read it. Sure, it’s got crazy theoretical comic-book super-science, but it’s crazy theoretical comic-book super-science that I can understand. On top of that, the D&D theme is fun, and Dr. Japanazi is pure hilarious.

Comments off

Just Another M.O.D.O.K. Monday

MODOKReignDelay

M.O.D.O.K.: Reign Delay #1

Hey, a one-shot issue starring everyone’s favorite colossal-nogginned megalomaniac, M.O.D.O.K., written and illustrated by Ryan Dunlavey, of “Action Philosophers” and “Comic Book Comics” — this is pretty much a guaranteed thumbs-up. But let’s give it a look-see anyway…

So, we got this “Dark Reign” crossover going on, where Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, has basically taken over S.H.I.E.L.D. and is running the country with a bunch of supervillains in disguise. Well, M.O.D.O.K., the Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing, wants in on that action, but can’t get Osborn to return any of his dozens of calls. Finally, desperate to be rid of uber-craniumed pest, Osborn assigns him and a few of his minions to be to official “protectors” of… Erie, Pennsylvania. Luckily, M.O.D.O.K. grew up in Erie, so he can live in his parents’ home, get delicious pancakes for breakfast, attend his high school reunion, and fight an out-of-work Canadian superhero. And, of course, brainblast his sad-sack minions, which he does as often as he can.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very enjoyably silly stuff. If you get only one comic this year that features a giant-headed supervillain being accosted in a bar restroom by grown-up bullies and given a swirlie, make it this one.

MA-Superheroes15

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #15

The Hulk and Tigra are attending a movie awards show because they were both in a documentary called “Don’t Look at the Camera: Three Days in the Life of the Hulk,” which has been nominated for an award. Unfortunately, Mysterio is also in attendance, because he owns a special effects studio that’s been nominated for another award. Unfortunately, when Mysterio loses the award, he reacts very badly — he plans to create illusions of an alien invasion so that Hulk, in the process of smashing the nonexistent aliens, will end up demolishing the entire auditorium. So why is Tigra the only person unaffected by Mysterio’s illusions, and can she stop the villain and his henchmen all by herself?

Verdict: Thumbs up. This one’s a bit iffy in places — I don’t mind funny, good-natured, peace-loving Hulk, but this version of Hulk was so sedate, he almost seemed tranquilized. And even on the printed page, Tigra really is an awful singer. But I did enjoy Tigra saying “Oh sneezes!” everytime something went wrong, and that made up for a lot.

Comments off

Friday Night Fights: The Old Reliable Groin Shot!

I’ve been having some trouble finding good panels to use for the latest Friday Night Fights series. See, SpaceBooger has decreed that every fight has to include a good kick — literally, a kick, or a stomp, or some other attack with the feet. And I’m having trouble finding good ones. So this week, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to find one…

Luckily, I found Sidekick #3 from 2007, by Paul Jenkins and Chris Moreno, as poor overworked and underappreciated Eddie Edison meets up with an angry Justice Princess and Brother Commando:

FNF-Sidekick

Hope your weekend goes a bit better than that…

Comments off

A Dose of Awesome: Ninja!

I was digging through some of my newer comics a few weeks back, and it occurred to me that I had some good comics, some cool comics, a growing number of not-really-very-good-at-all comics, and not very many comics that I could really classify as AWESOME. And to be honest, I realized that was a problem not just with comics, but with almost everything. It’s a big beautiful world out there, but sometimes, it sure is tough to find stuff that blows your brain out the top of your skull, makes choirs of angels forget to sing, and just leaves you screaming “That was AWESOME!

So let’s start off a semi-occasional series, for whenever I’m too bored to post anything else, focusing on stuff that’s just awesome. Nothing in-depth, nothing complicated, no thoughtful and wise think-pieces here. Awesome is its own reward.

Today, we’ll start off with one of the core members of the Awesome Community: Ninja!

If you want to learn the real, cold facts about ninja, you should read this page and take careful notes. If you want to learn that the purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people, you should read this page… WHILE SCREAMING!

FindTheNinja

(Quick mid-blog quiz: Can you find the four ninjas in the picture above? Be careful not to guess wrong or the ninja hiding in your room will cut you down like a dog!)

GuitarNinja

Ninjas are so awesome that they will sometimes just bust out an inflatable guitar and provide themselves with guitar solos, just because they often kill unworthy rock bands that try to give them guitar solos.

In conclusion, even these ninjas are pretty awesome. Oooh, who’s the snugglicious widdle ninja-pookins! Ow, where’d all these shuriken come from?!

Comments off

"Do you like Kipling?" "I don’t know, I’ve never Kipled."

The Unwritten #5

Tom Taylor doesn’t appear in this issue — instead, we visit a previous century and take a look at the life of British author Rudyard Kipling. We follow him as a young reporter in India, frustrated that he can’t tell the stories he wants to. He ends up making a deal, almost entirely by accident, with Mr. Locke, who tells him that he’ll arrange that Kipling will be able to spin his stories for the glories of British Imperialism. And Kipling’s books, like “Gunga Din,” “On the Road to Mandalay,” and “The Light that Failed,” enjoy uncommon success. He is disturbed when, after Locke expresses his disdain for Oscar Wilde’s work, Wilde is unexpectedly arrested and put on trial for sodomy.

On a tour of America, he meets Mark Twain, who warns him that Locke may be a dangerous man, and Locke later tells Kipling that he wants him to remain in America to chronicle America’s rise, instead of England’s decline. Kipling, ever the loyalist, refuses, and soon pays the price, as his daughter Josephine falls ill and is then murdered by Pullman, the seemingly immortal assassin. Unable to write for a year, Kipling eventually turns his attention to fables and his “Just-So Stories” — his own simple declaration of war against Locke and his cronies. But the world continues as Locke had predicted — World War I swallows England whole, and Kipling’s own son joins up to fight and is soon reported MIA. Desperate, he begs for his son’s life from Locke. Will the old fable-teller be able to pull off one last bit of literary magic?

Verdict: Thumbs up. A nice change-of-pace, and a nice look at the strange history of the world that this comic resides in. Kipling lived an interesting but tragic life, but I never saw him as a fantasy hero before. It’s a sad story, but a fun one at the same time.

Power Girl #5

A spaceship has crashed in Prospect Park, and Kara heads up for the apartment roof to change into her costume — hey! Is someone taking pictures of her? There’s gonna be trouble later. Meanwhile, the spaceship almost shoots Power Girl while aiming at a pursuing ship, and while she tears her way inside, the three beautiful alien women inside come out to meet the New Yorkers gawking at the ship. PeeGee meets up with a hunky male android just before the ship self-destructs. Something — possibly Power Girl herself — somehow contains the explosion, but she’s left severely injured in the aftermath. Luckily, she recovers fast once she gets a little sunlight. After bonding with emergency personnel, she returns to her company, where she learns the shocking truth about why her horrible, horrible cat changed color, interviews a new PR employee, and gets in the middle of a minor war between the three alien women and a space cop sent to apprehend them.

Verdict: Thumbs up. There’s a lot of stuff shoehorned in here, some of it a bit weird (Why did Power Girl forget her gloves and boots in the first battle? Was there a plot point behind it?). But there were a lot of cool moments, sometimes very small, sometimes a bit larger. The scene between Power Girl and Pete the fireman is really cute, the alien girls discovering hot dogs is funny, and getting PeeGee’s horrible, horrible cat washed is a small comedy miracle. As always, Amanda Conner’s art makes everything even better.

Hellboy-WildHunt6

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #6

Hellboy and Alice are in the castle of Morgan Le Fay. She tells them about Mordred, the son she bore for King Arthur. Though he died in the Battle of Camlan, and his three sons were killed, he had a daughter who escaped death, and who continued his bloodline through a long line of female children, culminating in a woman named Sarah Hughes, a witch who married a demon, died, and went to Hell to deliver the first male heir in the Pendragon bloodline in hundreds of years — a big, red-skinned guy with a stone hand who likes to file his horns down. In other words, Hellboy is not only the reluctant Beast of the Apocalypse, he’s also the rightful King of Britain. So Morgan gives him a choice — he can take the Sword from the Stone and lead an army of dead elves and fairies into battle, or he can let Nimue, former consort and betrayer of Merlin, destroy the world as the new blood-soaked Queen of the Witches. But Hellboy fears he is slowly becoming the demonic Great Beast — will he end up wearing both crowns at once? Is this just a struggle to decide whether Nimue or Anung un Rama will call an end to creation?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very big stuff going on here — epic and apocalyptic in every sense of the word. Is Mike Mignola really getting ready to end his own comic-book universe?

Comments off