Well, the bad news is: It’s February. The worst month of the year. Luckily, it’s also the shortest, but that means you get a maximum amount of horribleness packed into each and every day. And the good news is: Well, there is no good news. I mean, it’s February.

But we can take a little comfort in the fact that it’s Friday, and that means the weekend, and that means FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Our fight today comes from February 1989’s Silver Surfer #20 by Steve Englehart and Ron Lim, in which Mantis shows up somewhere, jumps out of a plane, and kicks the carp out of two random security guards.

One may ask why Mantis felt the need to beat up cops who probably had a good reason to ask why a green woman had just jumped out of a plane. Maybe they want her to disembark through the terminal, like a normal passenger. Maybe they wanted to make sure she remembered to go pick up her luggage. Maybe they like green women in skimpy clothing. But who doesn’t, right?

But both of them learned a valuable lesson: February is a horrible, horrible month.

People, it’s been a crazy week, and we need a dose of awesome to get us all back on track. So let’s look at one of our most awesome Founding Fathers: Benjamin Franklin!

Ben Franklin is awesome because… Wait, wait, I’m not really going to have to explain all this to you, am I? You can read a (relatively) short biography of him if your historical knowledge is just embarrassingly lacking, or you can read a lot of funny pop culture references to him. But man, the dude experimented with electricity (he did fly a kite in a thunderstorm, but there wasn’t a key tied to the line, ’cause it woulda killed him), invented all kinds of awesome stuff, published a newspaper, edited the Declaration of Independence, was the first Postmaster General, fooled around aaaaaaall over France, and still had time to write essays like the awesomely titled “Fart Proudly.” He was never President, but he still made it onto the $100 bill.

And he’s one of the most awesomely quotable figures in American history — to the point where people actually think some of his quotes are from the Bible. When people mistake stuff you said for the Word of God, you know you’re pretty awesome.

How awesome was Ben Franklin? He was so awesome that the rest of the Founding Fathers — including George Washington and Thomas Jefferson — probably sat around talking about how awesome Ben Franklin was. And I’m not joking either. You know how brainy some of the Founding Fathers were, and I’m pretty sure they were amazed at how awesome and smart Franklin was.

And you gotta be pretty awesome to meet up with an unholy anthropomorphic drink pitcher and not freak out about it.

Chaos War #5

It’s the final battle against the Chaos King. Hercules is very nearly all-powerful, but is he all-powerful enough to take out the much more all-powerful Chaos King? Can Amadeus Cho get a few million humans transported into the artificial replacement universe, at the cost of billions of other lives? Or will he choke and doom all life to extinction? What great sacrifice will Hercules ultimately make to save everything?

Verdict: Thumbs up, with a number of reservations. I thought the solution to the problem of the Chaos King was a pretty good one. Not so sure I like a completely depowered Herc, though. Wait, was that a spoiler? There was also a resurrection of dead heroes — and I really couldn’t tell who they brought back. Was it just Alpha Flight? Or were there more? All in all, it just barely made the grade.

Zatanna #9

This one is vaguely problematic. Zatanna’s been tied up with marionette string by an evil ventriloquist dummy that has the soul of a murderous old puppeteer inside it. Once Zee gets the puppet confined, she… asks him to tell her his life story. And of course, he insists he’s not really evil. And Zatanna believes him! So its off to the family mansion to figure out a way to unpuppetize him. That’s the entire story in just 12 pages, which is kinda short for a lead feature.

The backup is pretty good — it focuses on “Zatanna, Junior Sorceress” — Zatanna when she was a preteen. She’s just gotten braces and she can’t talk clearly, and she has to figure out some way to stop a gunman when she can’t recite any of her backwards spells.

Verdict: I’m still giving this one a thumbs up. The first story is too short and makes very little sense… but the artwork by Cliff Chiang is, as always, fantastic. Much, much better is the backup — Zatanna as a teenager is just plain hilarious.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Wow, Kevin Church has just completely unexpectedly and somewhat abruptly ended “The Rack,” his long-running comic-shop webcomic. “FIGHT!“, luckily, is still going strong.
• Scott Kaufman has an interesting discussion of race in comics, with examples from “Maus” and “American Born Chinese.”
• And speaking of race in comics, David Brothers makes a short analysis of the career of George Herriman, creator of “Krazy Kat.”

American Vampire #11

Pearl and her husband Henry have stumbled into a nest of vampires, all courtesy of Little Feet Beale, a smuggler who’s handing his old musician pals over to the vamps. Pearl makes short work of the vampires, while Henry chases after Beale. But Henry doesn’t have Pearl’s resilience. Meanwhile, Pearl’s old roommate Hattie, newly freed from captivity, begins making her way across the country in pursuit of her former friend, leaving a long trail of bodies behind her.

Verdict: Thumbs up, as always. Great action, excellent interpersonal stuff (Pearl and Henry have a nice talk about the nature of vampirism on their relationship and their future), and of course, awesome, bloodthirsty vampires who never, ever sparkle.

Detective Comics #873

Dick Grayson’s disguise as William Rhodes, a wealthy, debauched tycoon slumming it among psychotics, has been pierced by Etienne Guiborg, the gas-masked loon behind the Mirror House. Though dosed with a hallucinogen, Dick manages to escape, but can he throw off the effects of the poison to bring Guiborg to justice? And as long as he’s suffering periodic hallucinations, can he trust anything he sees?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Some fun surprises, some excellently well-done hallucinations, and a nice examination of just how crazy a large chunk of the Gotham population may be…

Hey, I just realized I reviewed two of writer Scott Snyder’s comics today. Yay for semi-random synchronicity!

Today’s Cool Links:

• Congratulations to SpaceBooger on four years of drawing his own webcomic.
• Here’s a short fan film about the endlessly awesome Axe Cop.
• Jill Thompson draws Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper. And it is glorious.
• Oh my word, this is fairly hilarious. I wonder if he’ll consider attending a Tech game any time soon. Or if he’ll even campaign in Lubbock. He’ll either need a disguise or a huge contingent of bodyguards…

Awright, people, line up! We’ve all had a rough week, and we’re all aching for the weekend to get started. I assume you’re all going to get busy with your usual weekend plans — eating club crackers, painting the doghouse, shaving various body parts, and re-organizing your silverware drawer. Well, forget it! You are going to live this weekend like you’re not going to get another one for five whole days, and that’s all there is to it! And the right way to start off a good, crazy weekend? Say it with me now — FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

We’re going to make sure tonight’s battle is one for the ages — we’re going with a true comic classic: February 1963’s Fantastic Four #11 by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby! It all starts quietly as the FF are going through their fan mail…

Waitaminute — no return address? No, Ben, don’t open it — it’s from your greatest archnemeses…

Yep, the Yancy Street Gang strikes again!

See you guys back here on Monday — hope you get rested and refreshed before then…

Twilight Guardian #1

You remember a long, loooong time ago, when the one-shot “Pilot Season” version of this comic came out? I loved the first story and had started getting worried that this one would never get published. But it’s finally out, and I’m plenty glad to see it.

The storyline here is pretty much just like the original. The Twilight Guardian is a young woman in a hoodie and a domino mask. She patrols a nine-block area in the suburbs, and she’s fanatically dedicated to being a superhero. Even though she has no powers and no fighting skills. Even though she nearly never encounters any crime. Even though she’s so painfully afraid of confrontation that she can never bring herself to even confront anyone she thinks is suspicious.

Yes, she’s broken somewhere, mentally. She’s stopped taking her meds because she thinks they dull her crimefighting skills. She’s obsessed with her nemesis, a serial abductor who the papers call the Dusk Devil and who she’s never even met. Her ex-boyfriend has just vanished, perhaps conveniently. Do the police think she has something to do with it? Was her father’s disappearance years ago more ominous than anyone suspected? Has someone entered her home while she was out on patrol? Is the Dusk Devil really after her? And does the Twilight Guardian have allies she doesn’t expect?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Listen, if you get this looking for fights and action and Kirby dots, you’re going to be really disappointed. This is all about character. At least it is so far. I don’t know if something’s going to happen later or not — I suspect it will, but even if all we get is a deep character study of a young woman with mental issues who wishes she was a superhero, I’m probably going to end up counting the whole miniseries as a win.

And having said all that — I do think there’s something deeper going on here. There are strange, suspicious things that seem to be happening. Are they all in the Guardian’s fevered and paranoid imagination? Is the description of the Dusk Devil as someone wearing a hood and a mask — just like our heroine — dangerously significant?

I love this character, I’m glad Troy Hickman is getting another chance to write about her, and I’m relieved that Top Cow is taking a chance with it. I’m hoping you’ll take a chance on it, too.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Project Rooftop has a new contest challenging readers to redesign Aquaman’s costume.
• Why is Butch Guice copying from Greg Land’s much-copied playbook?
• Here’s something that’s really cool — a collective, interactive art project with a lot of people contributing art to create a music video for the last song that Johnny Cash recorded.
• When it comes to the Oscars, I think the biggest, most unforgivable snub of the year was not nominating Daft Punk for their amazing musical score for “Tron: Legacy.”

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, fanboys and fangirls of all ages, the Lubbock Comic Book Expo is all set to go for another year.

When’s it happening? April 9-10, during the annual Lubbock Arts Festival. Where? That’d be at the Lubbock Memorial Civic Center, at 1501 Mac Davis Lane.

Who’s going to be there? Well, probably lots and lots of people, but I don’t know who yet. Hopefully, you’ll be there, ’cause you’d like it, I promise.

As in previous years, the emphasis for the Comic Expo is on the artists who make up the Lubbock comic art community, including the Lubbock Sketch Club. Sure, there’ll be a lot of stuff there for comics fans, but there’s going to be a lot to throw the focus on the people who are working on their comics art skills.

Kenny Ketner is in charge of everything this year, and it’s still pretty early, but he tells me he’s working on a lot of stuff to make sure the convention goes off well.

Events? Probably quite a few. Expect a variety of speakers, the sketch area for the kids (and for parents willing to draw fun stuff), the Iron Artist event, the always-popular costume contest, and a lot more. The theme for this year’s Arts Festival is “Colorful Crayola Art,” so I’d bet on some events having to do with Crayolas and crayons.

Admission fees? Don’t hold me to this, ’cause it’s the only thing I forgot to ask Kenny about — but if it’s like previous Expos, you’ll have to pay to get into the Arts Festival (This year, it’s just three dollars, and that’s cheap, baby), but if the only thing you’re attending is the Expo, it’ll be completely free. And yes, that’s completely within your budget, so don’t try to waffle out of it.

Some of y’all out there may want to get yourself a table at the Expo, either as a vendor or an exhibitor. I can actually help you with that! You just need to fill out these PDF forms for vendor applications and exhibitor applications, and send Kenny your fees. Mmm, sweet, sweet moneys. Hopefully, Kenny’s gonna buy us all shiny new ridin’ goats.

What else to tell? The folks at the Hub City’s Robot Cowboy Studios are working on a new logo. I reckon it won’t be too long before you’ll be seeing it on posters around the city. But it ain’t ready yet, so keep yer pants on, pilgrim. The PDF forms for vendors and exhibitors are mostly almost nearly ready — the current versions are a little too large for me to upload to the site here, but I’m hoping for some more manageable versions soon.

Have you got that penciled on your calendar yet? It’s the Lubbock Comic Book Expo — April 9-10 at the Lubbock Memorial Civic Center, 1501 Mac Davis Lane, during the Lubbock Arts Festival.

There has never been a Comic Book Expo that hasn’t been pure 1000% ham-stuffed awesomesauce. Don’t miss it, or you’re a sucka.

Dungeons & Dragons #3

The party of adventurers — Kahl the dwarf paladin, Varis the city-loving elf, Bree the thieving halfling, Tisha the possibly-demonic tiefling, and their leader, Adric Fell — are in a heap of trouble. They’re surrounded by orcs, hunting for a shapeshifting villain, and Adric is in a duel to the death with an orc warrior. Can Adric keep from getting killed? Can the rest of the party discover the shapeshifter? What secret was the shapeshifter hiding, and will everyone be able to survive a trip through a trap-filled cavern?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Excellent action and characterization. The artwork is a blast. The turning point in the duel was a nice surprise, and the reactions of the onlookers was pretty funny. All in all, I’m just really enjoying this comic.

Supergirl #60

We have three different stories in this one — first, we meet a tech-savvy (and possibly telepathic) sociopath who’s created a new telephone app to let people track sightings of superheroes — and to make it easier for supervillains to find the heroes. Second, Lois Lane has found out some dirt about secret Cadmus experiments. And finally, Supergirl gets ambushed by a bunch of heavy hitters from Superman’s rogues gallery. How are these all connected?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice mix of stories, and all of them would be pretty interesting on their own. Good action, dialogue, and characterization, especially considering how many characters, both major and minor, there are in this story.

Tiny Titans #36

Terra takes Kid Devil and Hotspot on a field trip to the center of the earth, where everyone is able to make their heads burst into flames. And Beast Boy tags along, just ’cause he likes Terra. They all meet dragons, dinosaurs, man-eating plants, a cow, and this guy:

Yay! The Tiny Titans version of Etrigan the Demon!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Tiny Titans Etrigan!

Today’s Cool Links:

• The Adventures of Sexy Batman!
• This incredibly awesome superhero mini-movie cost just $300 to make.
• Bully has the complete guide to Wolverine.

Awright, I slacked off last week, but it’s time to pull out some scans from some actually decent fights for a change. So let’s kick out the jams and jump right into tonight’s edition of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This evening’s battle looks like it might’ve been better suited to Halloween… but I don’t want to wait another nine months to use this, so it’s getting used right now. From December 2008’s Monster-Size Hulk #1, from a story by Jeff Parker and Gabriel Hardman — Victoria Frankenstein, the granddaughter of, well, Frankenstein, has used a gamma-powered blood transfusion to revive the legendary Monster of Frankenstein!

I hear hitting each other with tractors is the traditional way to celebrate Fridays in Transylvania.

Everyone have a great weekend, and I’ll see y’all back here on Monday.

Avengers Academy #8

Okay, backstory — a while back — I think during “Civil War” or one of the other idiotic Marvel crossovers — some supervillain called the Hood ambushed Tigra, beat her up, and videotaped her so he could blackmail her into — I don’t remember. It was stupid and pointless — one of the things Brian Michael Bendis does so he’ll make his fanboys think he’s gangsta. Anyway, Tigra is now teaching at Avengers Academy, and the students have just discovered that the video has finally been released on the Internet. Tigra’s not happy about it, but she and Giant-Man shut the kids down when they suggest going after the Hood for revenge — the Academy is about getting them to play by the rules, not slip into supervillain thinking.

But of course, some of the students — specifically, Striker, Hazmat, and Veil — decide to track down the Hood (he’s escaped from prison but lost his powers), beat him up, and make their own tape. Meanwhile, Tigra is trying to deal with the residual effects of the trauma by creating her own foundation to assist anyone who’s undergone that kind of ordeal — from abused children and spouses all the way to suicidal vets. But how’s she going to react when she learns that the students have gone outside the law?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice to see that Christos Gage and other people at Marvel are willing to figure out ways to fix Bendis’ screwups. Good character work here, too, especially for Tigra. And an excellent cliffhanger to close everything out. No idea how they wrap this up without just resorting to the old reset button…

Morning Glories #6

A new storyarc begins — and for most of this issue, we don’t really see any familiar faces. Our focus is on Julie Hayes, a researcher with connections to the mysterious rotating dynamo seen in the Morning Glory Academy’s basement. She’s on the run from the law because she made a mistake that cost 12 people their lives. She meets a member of the Academy’s staff who offers her a deal — come work for the Academy doing stuff that’s probably illegal, and the Academy will make her legal troubles go away. Will she take them up on the offer? And will the surprise on the last page make your jaw hit the floor, or drop all the way through to the basement?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I was considering giving this one up. But that last page definitely roped me in for the next storyarc.

Today’s Cool Links:

• As long as they’re changing the Zodiac up, you may as well get yourself a complete new horoscope. I’m no longer just a Virgo — I’m a Dracula.
• The Beast has its annual Most Loathsome People of the year out. Go read and enjoy!
• Here’s some way freaky animation for you.