Okay, I know I just got back from one hiatus. But can I have another? I’m so freakin’ tired of writing comics reviews. What, no more hiatuses? You guys are slavedrivers.

The Amazing Spider-Man #677

So Spidey runs into the Black Cat, and being the recently-dumped loser he is, he tries to get her to hook up with him. And she blows him off ’cause the Wall-Crawler was coming across as entirely needy and desperate. Soon afterwards, she gets arrested for stealing a hologram emitter from Horizon Labs, where Peter Parker works — but he doesn’t believe she did it. He tries to enlist Matt Murdock’s help in defending her, which of course leads to a team-up between Spider-Man and Daredevil. And that means lots of snappy patter and superheroes daring each other to jump off of skyscrapers. When the trail leads through some bad guys using a holographic projector, is the chase already almost over, or is the Black Cat going to get the drop on everyone?

Daredevil #8

And the continuation of the two-part story sees Spidey, Daredevil, and Black Cat teaming up to look for the villains who framed Felicia Hardy. Before long, they realize the thief actually worked for Horizon Labs — he’s been overdosed with poison, so Spidey rushes him to the hospital, while Daredevil and Felicia head for the criminal organization that’s really responsible. But will they be able to find the equipment? And will this lead to the kind of romantic entanglement that Matt Murdock and Felicia Hardy are both famous for?

Verdict: Thumbs up, for both issues. Excellent story, beautiful art (and an outstanding cover!), amazing characterization and dialogue and action and humor. These two issues got everything you want from a fun superhero comic book. Go get ‘em, kiddios.

The Amazing Spider-Man #678

And back to an issue of Spidey’s comic! Peter Parker has to deal with Grady, an irritating co-worker at Horizon Labs — and in this case, he’s an irritating co-worker who’s just invented a time portal that takes someone 24 hours into the future! When Grady steps through the portal, he gets to bring back tomorrow’s paper. But when Peter steps through, he finds New York City smashed to rubble! Grady realizes that anyone who goes through the portal skips forward in time, so the resulting destruction resulted because Peter Parker wasn’t in the Big Apple for 24 hours. So that means Spider-Man needs to do something to avert a future catastrophe. But will Spidey and Grady be able to figure out what went wrong before it’s too late?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good plot and characterization. Fantastic cliffhanger. Really looking forward to seeing how this gets resolved.

Batman #4

I liked it. The Court of Owls is nice and creepy. The background on young Bruce Wayne’s first detective case is maybe a bit odd, but still enjoyable.

Dark Horse Presents #7

I liked it. Lots of good stories in this one, including a new Hellboy story with art by Mike Mignola, Howard Chaykin’s always enjoyable “Marked Man,” a tale of Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai, and the amusing and unexpected story of the barbarian hero Skulltar by M.J. Butler and Mark Wheatley.

The Amazing Spider-Man #676

I didn’t like it. Spidey never appears. It’s all the Sinister Six vs. the Intelligencia. And Doctor Octopus’ new costume is just awful.

Blue Beetle #4

I didn’t like it. I really kinda hated it. Remember what made the old Blue Beetle so much fun? Namely, you know, the fun? All that fun, the light touch, the great interplay with the supporting cast? None of it’s there. It’s just another bombastic, stupid DC comic book now.

The Amazing Spider-Man #675

Peter Parker teams up with his ex-girlfriend, CSI tech Carlie Cooper, who’s still bitter that Peter never told her he was Spider-Man. They’re trying to track down the Vulture’s new crew of flying burglars, and they eventually figure out that they’re based out of a new dance club. Unfortunately, by the time Spidey gets there, it’s still a case of one Spider-Man vs. a whole flock of Vultures. Is there any way he can survive?

Verdict: Thumbs up. And I must admit, what I’m most impressed by is the fact that we just had a complete story wrap up in just two issues. Not six, not eight, not a whole year’s worth of comics, but just two issues. I do wish comics publishers would do that a bit more often…

Swamp Thing #4

Alec Holland and Abby Arcane are on the trail of Abby’s brother, William Arcane, a kid on the way to becoming an avatar of death, rot, and decay, the way Swamp Things are avatars of the plant world. Unfortunately, they miss William after he slaughters a diner full of people. Abby insists that they bunk down for the night, choosing an open grassy field because it’ll be less likely that the Rot will have dead matter to use against them. While sleeping, Alec communes with the Parliament of Trees, who are still unhappy that he’s resisting becoming the Swamp Thing. They tell him that the war between the Green (plant life), the Red (animal life), and the Rot has been going on since prehistoric times, and they tell him that he shold kill Abby, as she has as strong a connection to the Rot as William does. Do Alec and Abby dare travel together any longer?

Verdict: I don’t know. The artwork is gorgeous, even without Yanick Paquette on the pencils. The horror is pretty good. But I’m still irritated that this book is drawing out turning Alec Holland into the Swamp Thing for so blasted long.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Rapper Ice Cube talking about architecture in L.A. is something I find oddly fascinating.
• A little depressing, but certainly worth thinking about: an article about the regrets of the dying.
• And to cheer you up after that last one: Batman teams up with Abraham Lincoln.

Atomic Robo: The Ghost of Station X #3

Last issue, someone made a pretty good attempt at killing Atomic Robo. Now, he and his team are trying to figure out which of their enemies could be behind the attack — and the attack doesn’t really fit the M.O.s of any of the groups they’ve tangled with in the past. One of their analysts is able to hit a lucky bit of data that lets them trace where the calls into the company HQ were coming from, and the team scrambles to take them out with a surgical strike. Meanwhile, some of Robo’s old employees are working with British intelligence to track a two-story flat that’s been mysteriously stolen — they’re finally having some progress with interviews, but it just opens up more mysteries. And in Omaha, Nebraska, where Robo’s team has tracked the rogue signals, they find an empty office building — and they get ambushed by a large military force. They’re able to elude them and even take out some of their forces, but these guys are not willing to let Robo get away again.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Great action, great art, wonderful humor and dialogue. This comic is insanely fun, and I don’t know why more of you aren’t reading it. Why do you hate fun and joy, non-readers? Whyyyy?

The Amazing Spider-Man #674

Spider-Island is no more, but some people are still coming to town wishing they could get some spider-powers of their own. They’re soon inducted into a new gang that specializes in high-rise burglaries and sometimes killing their members by dropping them from great heights. Peter Parker and his ex-girlfriend Carlie Cooper soon realize they’re after the same group of people, but long before they get too far in their investigation, we are introduced to the high flying gang and their leader, the Vulture.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I don’t know if they really meant that last-page reveal to be a big surprise, but anyone who wasn’t expecting the Vulture after seeing the cover or reading any of the rest of the story just wasn’t paying any real attention. Still, nice story, good dialogue, decent action.

Severed #4

Jack’s friend Sam — a girl passing as a boy to avoid unwanted creeps in 1930s Chicago — is very suspicious of “Alan Fisher,” the shark-toothed killer who is pretending to be a phonograph salesman. She stole one of his business cards and calls his boss, who tells her he hasn’t heard from the real Alan Fisher in days and agrees to meet with her to figure out what’s going on. However, Jack believes what Fisher has told them, and they have a big argument — though they eventually reconcile. Unfortunately, when Sam goes to see Fisher’s boss, it turns out it was really Fisher all along. Is there going to be a good ending for either Sam or Jack? I wouldn’t bet on it…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Dead grim Depression-era horror, with some serious scares and a ton of suspense. I really do love the way Scott Snyder seemingly came out of nowhere to become one of the comics world’s best and most important writers.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Here’s a really cool video by Alan Moore, creator of a lot of the best comics in history, talking at length about the importance of the late Harvey Pekar.
• Lots of webcomics are coming up with interesting ways to talk about depression.
• Hey, do me a solid and go sign this petition. These Internet blacklist bills Congress is working on passing are guaranteed Internet-killers. They’d shut down Google, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Etsy, Wikipedia, and most of the blogs in the country, including this one.

The Amazing Spider-Man #673

Spider-Island is over, the Queen has been destroyed, and everyone in New York City has been de-spiderfied. That means a lot of people hanging around NYC without any clothes on, which brings us plenty of very funny episodes. Most of this issue is dedicated to wrapping up the previous storyarc — Aunt May finally gets to leave the city for Massachusetts, Kaine leaves town, Carlie has figured out that Peter is Spider-Man and breaks up with him, and Peter finds out from Dr. Strange that the spell that kept anyone from learning his secret identity is no longer in effect.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I think after that lengthy storyarc, it’s nice to get a little breather issue in. Love that cover, too, by the way…

American Vampire #20

We get a flashback within our flashback as the Indian woman in the cave tells Hole in the Sky, the renegade Apache leader, her story. She was formerly the wife — or maybe the slave — of a frontier trapper. She agreed to travel with a party exploring the country as a native guide. She enjoyed the journey, but became suspicious of the party’s captains, and soon discovered that they were vampires. When they caught her, she was turned into a new kind of American vampire — and her bloodlust was almost entirely uncontrollable. Desperate to find a way to keep herself from killing more and more people, she blocked herself inside a cave — until Hole in the Sky set her free. Even then, she doesn’t want to cause any more harm, and Hole in the Sky, disgusted with what he sees as her cowardice, kills her. But is that the end of the nightmare, or just the beginning?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice story, nice characterization, nice art, and a fun twist on vampires from a Native American perspective.

Swamp Thing #3

Much of our story focuses on a kid named William, who has to spend his life inside a plastic bubble because he has an extreme allergy to chlorophyll, and he’ll die if he ever leaves a sterile environment. His doctors want him to socialize as much as possible with other kids, but some of the other kids, even terminal cancer patients, are a bit psycho and are looking forward to ways to pierce his sterile bubble and expose him to the air that would kill him. Meanwhile, we get to know Alec Holland’s new benefactor — Abigail Arcane, who used to be the Swamp Thing’s lover, but who Alec can just barely remember. It turns out that, like Alec and his intrinsic connection to the Green that makes him a natural candidate to become a Swamp Thing, Abigail and all of the Arcane family have an intrinsic connection to the Black, the underworld of dead matter. Oh, and you know William, the kid in the plastic bubble? His last name is Arcane, too.

Verdict: Man, I do not know. The horror here is very good. The art is top-notch. And I think it was clever to name the doctor in this issue for Dick Durock, the actor who played Swamp Thing in the movies and TV series. But I think I’m starting to get really tired of Alec Holland not being Swamp Thing. I’m not going to be able to stomach more than one or two more issues where Holland isn’t mossy, noseless, and slow-speaking…

Holy bananas, when’s the last time I did anything other than review comics? Let’s see if I can get this week’s comics reviewed before the weekend, okay?

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #8

Once again, the story is split into two parts. We get Godzilla in an epic battle against King Ghidorah for half the issue, and in the rest of it, Sgt. Woods and Allie continue their journey across the country, fighting off desperate bandits and trying to stay away from the giant monsters. But when Steven is bitten by a poisonous snake, it puts their survival at risk — unless they get rescued by an unlikely savior.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Really, the most interesting part of this story focuses on the human survivors — I think the comic has actually gotten better now that we have some real protagonists. But I do think it’s interesting that King Ghidorah, normally the villain in Toho Studios‘ “Godzilla” movies, is cast as the good guy here.

Spaceman #1

A new sci-fi comic from Brian Azzarello, creator of “100 Bullets,” and it’s available for just one dollar! Yeah! Our lead character is Orson, a genetically engineered man. He was designed to live and work in space, and he looks more like a gorilla than a man. Orson hasn’t been in space for quite a while, though he still has plenty of dreams about it. Now he scrapes by working as a scrap metal collector — he sets sail in a rough little boat and tries to find some salvage out in the ocean. Meanwhile, the police are investigating an odd crime — a contestant on a reality show competing to be adopted by the future versions of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has been kidnapped, and no one knows where she is. How are these plot threads going to twist together?

Verdict: Thumbs up. For one thing, it’s just a dollar. JUST A DOLLAH! Second, I love the future lingo, part textspeak, part weird abbreviations. It’s fun to try to decipher what’s being said. But ya know what? Even though I like it, I’m not going to keep picking it up. I collect too dadgum many comics as it is, and the last thing I need is yet another monthly filling up my shortboxes. If it keeps a good rep, maybe I’ll pick it up someday when it gets collected.

The Amazing Spider-Man #671

Well, I lost track of this one somewhere down the road, so we’re gonna review two of these. Mary Jane Watson is just about the last person in the city to get any spider powers, so she gets busy saving lives and kicking butt. Elsewhere, Spidey manages to web up the transformed J. Jonah Jameson before he can kill anyone, but his mental link with the Spider-Queen clues her in that the resistance against her is centered at Horizon Labs. Eddie Brock is letting the scientists drain him of his spider-curing antibodies, even though it means he’ll never be able to become Anti-Venom again. The Queen sends Tarantula, who used to be Kaine, one of Spidey’s clones, to destroy the pool of spider decontaminant. Spidey almost gets beat, but Horizon Labs has been working on a way to restore the Wall-Crawler’s lost Spider-Sense, which gives him the edge to stop Tarantula and knock him into the decontaminant vat, turning him back into Kaine. Unfortunately, turning Peter’s Spider-Sense back on ends up super-charging the Queen…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Tons of stuff going on, with the end of Anti-Venom, the return of Kaine and the Spider-Sense, and even some fun guest stars.

The Amazing Spider-Man #672

So what’s the Spider-Queen do, now that she’s got a steep increase in power? She turns into a giant spider-monster to attack the city! Spidey loans Kaine one of his fancy high-tech spider-suits, Mary Jane shows up to help fight, the Avengers, the X-Men, and most of the other heroes in the city have trouble slowing the Queen down, and Peter realizes how to cure everyone in the city of their spider powers and stop the Queen at the same time. Can Peter and Mary Jane save the day?

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s big and crazy and overblown and a bit goofy, but I liked it anyway. So sue me.

All Star Western #1

The Rebooted version of Jonah Hex has some very good points in its favor — specifically, that Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, longtime writers of the previous “Jonah Hex” comic, are again in charge of this one. It does lead to an odd question — when the series is set in Gotham City, long considered to be the DC version of New York City, is it really correct to call it “All Star Western“?

Jonah Hex rides into Gotham City in the 1880s and is soon entangled in an investigation into a series of serial murders, partnered with Dr. Amadeus Arkham. While Arkham knows a lot about psychology and book-larnin’, Hex is the guy who knows where to find trouble and how to get people to tell what they know — and how to hurt anyone who gets in their way. But do they have a chance at uncovering the fiend — or fiends — behind the murders?

Verdict: Thumbs up. So much to love in this one. You got scarred, violent, rough-mannered Jonah Hex as Sherlock Holmes and brainy, sophisticated — and also probably completely insane, if I read the conversation with his mother correctly — Amadeus Arkham as Dr. Watson. You got Gotham City at its grimiest, at least as dangerous and lethal as anything on the frontier. This one is definitely, right now, a keeper.

The Amazing Spider-Man #670

Everyone in the Big Apple is getting Spider-Man’s powers — and after a certain period, they actually turn into giant spiders under the control of the Spider Queen! The Spider-King makes an appearance before her — but it’s really Flash Thompson, the new Venom, in disguise, while Eddie Brock, Anti-Venom, does all he can to use his powers to cure everyone with spider powers. Spider-Man teams up — gleefully — with Mayor J. Jonah Jameson, who’s gotten his own spider powers — but JJJ starts to lose control when he gets near the Spider-Slayer, who killed Jonah’s wife. Will anyone be able to find a cure in time? Or is it already too late for New York?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice, crazy story in all the right ways. Love the writing by Dan Slott, love the art by Humberto Ramos. This has been a pretty fun series.

Godzilla: Kingdom of Monsters #7

After the MechaGodzilla disaster from last issue, the U.S. government — heck, pretty much every government on Earth — has called it quits and gone underground while Godzilla destroys Washington, DC. Sgt. Steven Woods and Allie, the orphaned girl he’s watching after, are able to continue avoiding the monsters and scavenging food. The creepy twin girls in France discover that they’re able to control all monsters when they stop Battra and Rodan from fighting. And an old Tibetan monk has a plan to save the world using… King Ghidorah? Uh-oh…

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m liking seeing more focus on Steven Woods and less on the government’s (and everyone else’s) response to the monsters. It’s long passed the point where the planet’s going to come back from this, so it’s more interesting to see how a few people deal with the end of everything.

Batwoman #1

Wow, for a first issue, this comic is just jam-packed with stuff. And it still makes for great reading!

We start out with Batwoman on the trail of a new villain — or possibly an actual ghost — who styles herself after the spectral child-kidnapper La Llorona. We also get Kate Kane planning a date with Gotham Detective Maggie Sawyer and putting her new sidekick, Bette Kane, the former Flamebird, through her paces. We get the backstory of why Kate is estranged from her father, and we learn that Agent Cameron Chase of the Department of Extranormal Operations is being put on Batwoman’s trail.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yes, I summarized it really quickly, but this was just an incredibly awesome comic, and I didn’t want to spoil too much of it for you. But there’s a lot here to love. There’s a villain based on La Llorona, my favorite urban legend/ghost story. There’s Kate treating Bette as a military trainee. There’s the return of Cameron Chase and the always-awesome Director Bones. There’s J.H. Williams III being a very good storyteller. And most importantly, there’s J.H. Williams III’s beautiful, beautiful, beautiful artwork. No kidding, this one is worth picking up just so you can marvel at how gorgeous the art is. So go get it already.

The Amazing Spider-Man #669

Spider-Island is still going crazy, and a million New Yorkers have found themselves with Spider-Man’s powers. Peter Parker is forced to show off his fancy new martial arts skills in a way that makes his girlfriend Carlie suspicious that he may actually be the real Spider-Man. Reed Richards and the other scientists discover that no one who already has powers is able to catch the virus that dishes out the spider-powers, so they plan to give everyone in the city the super-power of… knowing which way is magnetic north. Why such a lame power? Well, it was easiest to mass-produce. Unfortunately, Mayor J. Jonah Jameson learns that he’s already been infected with the virus, and he’ll be getting spider-powers just like his hated nemesis. Spidey runs into the Shocker — and the villain has grown a few extra pairs of arms, just as it becomes clear that the spider-virus is causing additional mutations in anyone who has it.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Holy cow, there’s lots of crazy stuff happening here. But I have to admit, my favorite part of this is the idea that Mr. Fantastic is planning to give everyone super-compass powers. That’s bizarre, hilarious, and awesome all at the same time.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Well, this isn’t very cool, but DC has rebooted Amanda Waller from a devious heavyset mastermind to a typical skinny-girl nobody. Come on, DC, what about that commitment to diversity? Oh, don’t tell me it was a sham, just like everything else Dan DiDio says? Or was it just that the comics company run by stunted man-children still can’t do anything without calculating how much fun it’ll be to pointlessly infuriate their readers?
• And in more bad DC Reboot news, John Rozum is already leaving “Static Shock.” He says it’s not related to anything at DC. I hope he’s not just saying that so DC will hire him for comics in the future.
• Snell reminds us that it’s possible to have more than one interpretation of a character out there, even at more than one publisher. You hearin’ him, DC and the Siegel and Shuster families?

Well, I never read any of “Flashpoint,” so you won’t get a review of that here. And I’m not a big fan of Geoff Johns anymore — I don’t like Brian Michael Bendis at Marvel, so why should I want his new clone working at DC? — so I didn’t pick up the new “Justice League” either. But don’t worry — there were plenty of other comics released this week…

The Goon #35

A new issue of “The Goon!” And it’s written by Evan Dorkin! The Goon and Franky stumble onto a creepy circus called Brigadoon’s Dreamland Carnival — and the entire thing is run by sideshow freaks! The freaks accept both Franky and the Goon — because heck, why wouldn’t they? But while looking around the carnival, our heroes discover that the entire thing is geared around torturing and murdering innocent normals. That’s too rotten for even Franky to stomach, but can even the Goon survive the Midgets of All Nations, the Ossified Man, or the monstrous Ten-in-One?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very good, very funny, and fantastic action. Evan Dorkin and Eric Powell should team up much more often, ’cause this was the most fun I’ve had reading a comic in ages.

Secret Avengers #16

So they said, “Hey, Scott, Warren Ellis is gonna be writing the ‘Secret Avengers’ comic.” And I said, “Yeah, sign me up for that.”

Our team includes Steve Rogers, Hank McCoy, the Black Widow, and Moon Knight. They’ve been sent on a mission deep underground, in one of the secret cities of the late and unlamented Secret Empire, because they’ve detected Von Doom Radiation — one of the radioactive emissions of time travel. They soon learn that a group called the Shadow Council has taken over the city and built a time machine large and powerful enough to annihilate the city above it — and any other city on the planet. Can four people stop an army and eliminate this threat to the planet?

Verdict: Ehh, kinda on the fence about this one. The action is good, the scale of the threat is impressive, and the dialogue seemed fine. But I just didn’t find myself as charged up about it as I expected. Maybe I got my hopes up too high?

Rocketeer Adventures #4

The anthology tribute to Dave Stevens‘ grand retro-pulp action hero wraps up with a trio of tales. First, Dave Gibbons and Scott Hampton take us beachside as the Rocketeer tries to save a champion surfer’s rare heirloom surfboard. Next, Joe Pruett and Tony Harris bring us a story of Cliff Secord’s trip under the sea as he takes on a Japanese submarine. And finally, John Arcudi and Brendan McCarthy introduce us to the Aeronaut, a Nazi rocketeer with a superior version of Cliff’s suit.

Verdict: Thumbs up. All the stories were a bucket of fun, with wonderful art and tons of outstanding pulp-hero action. My lone complaint about this issue — as it’s been with every issue of this series — is that we don’t get any of Dave Stevens’ classic stories to enjoy.

The Amazing Spider-Man #668

With tons of New Yorkers discovering their own spider-powers, Spider-Man is at a distinct disadvantage — his fellow superheroes can’t tell the difference between his imitators and the real deal! So the Wall-Crawler gets benched, but he still figures out a way to help — pretending to be just an ordinary New Yorker who’s discovered new spider-powers, he makes a video calling for other empowered New Yorkers to come help fight the bad guys. And of course they do — in droves. Swarms, even. Mayor J. Jonah Jameson deputizes everyone, and Peter Parker and his girlfriend Carlie Cooper get put in charge of weaponizing Spidey’s old high-tech costumes and later realize that the Jackal is probably behind all of this. How much trouble are they going to get into inside one of Miles Warren’s old hideouts? Probably a lot…

Verdict: Thumbs up. The story behind this seems to be developing pretty well. We get some great action, fun dialogue, and a lot of crazy superheroics. This one has been a lot more fun than I was expecting.

The Amazing Spider-Man #667

The “Spider-Island” event finally gets officially kicked off, with Peter Parker discovering that his girlfriend Carlie has amazing spider-like powers. Why does that seem familiar somehow? He convinces her to keep her new powers a secret, at least for now, while they go see Aunt May off as she moves to Boston. Meanwhile, New York City’s mobsters are discovering that they have spider powers, too, and the Jackal gets them organized by giving them a bunch of knockoff Spider-Man costumes and sending them out to spread some mayhem. Spidey is finally able to get into costume to help out — but not only does half of New York now have his powers, but the Avengers and the rest of the city’s superheroes now can’t tell him apart from all of the copycats.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The story is in its early stages, so there’s not a whole lot to be said about it yet. I do, however, just plain love Humberto Ramos’ artwork.

American Vampire: Survival of the Fittest #3

Meet the Germans’ 77th Brigade — composed entirely of vampires. Not a fun place to be for Felicia Book and Cash McCogan, members of the vampire-hunting Vassals of the Morning Star gone undercover to try to find a cure for vampirism. What he’s discovered is a gun that fires concentrated sunlight, able to destroy almost any vampire. After some successful demonstrations, but Felicia and Cash suspect the vampires know who they are, so they prepare to make their escape, only for the doctor to offer them a far more unexpected method to strike at the vampires.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Great art, great story — and incredibly suspenseful, too. This has been a hugely impressive story, even compared to the high standards Scott Snyder has already cooked up for the regular “American Vampire” series.