I know this has been out there forever, but I only managed to grab this one after Christmas, thanks to some handy and much appreciated gift certificates. So what the heck, let’s review it.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier

This picks up several decades after the last episode of the entirely classic “League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” by Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill. (And if you haven’t read that yet, you really, really should. If all you know of “LoEG” is that awful Sean Connery movie, then excise all memories of that pile of cinematic dreck and go read the comics, ’cause they’re really cool.)

Aaaanyway, it’s 1958, Big Brother’s dictatorship from George Orwell’s “1984” has just fallen, and Mina Murray and Allan Quatermain are still kicking around England. Thanks to an encounter with the “Fire of Youth,” both are now basically immortal. They’re after a book called the Black Dossier, that includes the complete, secret history of their League, as well as the Leagues that came before and after.

While most of the main story is told through traditional comic illustrations, the material from the Black Dossier is, for the most part, recounted in straightforward text. These include a lengthy comic strip focusing on the life of Orlando (the immortal gender-swapping swashbuckler from Virginia Woolf’s novel); a “Fanny Hill” sequel; a short story written in the style of the ’50s beat writers; a Tijuana Bible about life and sex in Big Brother’s England; and a comedy combining P.G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves and Bertie Wooster with H.P. Lovecraft’s cthulhoid horrors. There’s also an actual pair of 3-D glasses to go along with the extended 3-D sequence at the end of the story.

Verdict: Well, I’ll give this a thumbs up, partly because I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to thumbs-down an Alan Moore story, and partly because I thought “What Ho, Gods of the Abyss?”, the Jeeves and Wooster story, was extremely funny. But yeah, this story has some severe problems. There’s vastly too many folks running around without their clothes on — sure, there’s an awful lot of classic literature that’s pretty wildly bawdy (like, fer instance, almost all of Shakespeare’s plays), but “The Black Dossier” really does desensitize you to sex and nudity after just a little while. (“Oh, look, it’s Mina without any clothes on. Oh, look, it’s Fanny Hill without any clothes on. Oh, look, it’s Orlando without any clothes on. Oh, look, it’s a Tijuana Bible. Oh, look…”)

In addition, several of the text pieces were really difficult to read, partly because of formatting issues (Paragraph indents, Mr. Moore! And less single-spaced stuff, please!) and partly because they’re not all that well-written — “The Crazy Wide Forever,” written in the style of Jack Kerouac, was almost unreadably awful.

All the stuff drawn from “1984” was a bit of a setting breaker, too, frankly. I just can’t buy into the idea that England would transition so quickly from a fairly normal society, to a crushingly autocratic dictatorship, and then back to a normal society in such a short space of time. The Ingsoc from “1984” wasn’t a government that was going away any time soon, and the concept of doublespeak wasn’t something that would allow a normal, well-adjusted society to occur, in any case.

And finally, one of the characters who shows up at the end is a giant Golliwogg doll. If you’re not familiar with those, they were blackface minstrel ragdolls. Why is there a racist doll running around England with an airship? I got no idea. And it really pulls you straight out of the story. You’re reading along, you’re in an exciting chase sequence, and then, hello, racist stereotype doll! What the frackin’ frack?! Weren’t there any other popular children’s toys in England in the late 1950s? Winnie the Pooh, maybe? Peter Cottontail? Betsy-Wetsie? Madame Freakin’ Alexander dolls?

I really do think this is my least favorite of all of Moore comics, and I’ve read a ton of ’em. But even with that caveat, I still think it’s probably worth reading.

This weekend, I was really, really wishing I lived in the U.K. I learned about a show that airs on the BBC that I really, really wish I could watch — but you can’t even watch episodes on the BBC’s website if you live on this side of the Atlantic.

“Being Human” is a horror/drama/comedy about three housemates — Mitchell is a vampire, George is a werewolf, and Annie is a ghost. Mitchell’s a bit of a playa, but he’s on the outs with the rest of the local vampire population because he’s trying to quit drinking blood. George is a completely awkward geek who had to quit his job and flee his family when he found out he turned into a monster every full moon. Annie is extremely insecure and nervous about even leaving the house she died in because she worries she’ll fade away. And while it does have comedic elements, there’s a good bloody splash of horror, too, and it really seems like a very dark show, especially considering the local vampires’ plans for the human population and George’s painful, bone-cracking transformations.

In other words, this show was made for me.

There was a pilot episode on the BBC last February that got so much positive response from viewers that they decided to give it a full season, although they also replaced most of the cast members. You can see the pilot episode on YouTube, along with a few trailers and the highly recommended and very spooky “prequels” for the three main characters.

Anyway, it sucks that I won’t be able to see any more of this show ’til the BBC releases it on DVD in the US. But when they do, bam, I’m snagging this one, job or no job.

Blue Beetle #35

The next-to-the-last issue of “Blue Beetle.”

After Jaime takes out a bunch of Ted Kord’s old rogues gallery, he heads off to a high school dance with his date, smokin’ hot magic girl Traci 13. And of course, the festivities get broken up by more villains — in this case, the Khaji-Da Revolutionary Army, a bunch of aliens wearing Reach armor like Jaime’s. They were all freed from the Reach’s mental control when Jaime destroyed the Reach a while back. Now they’re roaming the galaxy fighting against oppression. They want Jaime to lead them in the battle against oppression on Earth, which includes everyone from China and North Korea, to the United States and the Justice League. When Jaime tells them he’s not down with that, they don’t respond very well.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of fun stuff here, including some nice spotlights for the outstanding supporting cast. Paco supports a pantsless society, by the way. Just one more issue to go, and I’m really going to miss this series.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #7

Loki is trying to turn Thor, in his civilian guise as Donald Blake, into a snake by enchanting the lips of his girlfriend, Jane Foster. If she kisses him, he’ll change into whatever animal is closest to him, and they’re both visiting the zoo’s reptile house. Once Cobra frees all the snakes in the building, things get even more chaotic.

Verdict: Thumbs down. I normally love the “Marvel Adventures” comics, but this one just left me completely flat.

Booster Gold #16

Booster is trapped in Europe during World War I, facing off against the Enemy Ace, one of DC’s more interesting war heroes — he was based on the Red Baron, and though he opposed the Allies, he was considered an extremely honorable and ethical foe.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Enemy Ace is always an interesting character, and it’s fun to see him anywhere.

Man alive, what a week! Nothing but stress and worry and work and alarm clocks and not-sleeping-late! Is there any way to unwind from the work week and get primed for the weekend? Why not try a thick, steaming bowl of FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Today, let’s take a look at February 2007’s 52, Week Forty-Three, by some combination of Geoff Johns, Grant Morrison, Greg Rucka, Mark Waid, Keith Giffen, and Dan Jurgens, as Osiris gets all angsty, lashes out at Captain Marvel Junior (Well, who wouldn’t?), and accidentally hits his sister, Isis.

After that, he went out and got eaten by a crocodile.

Sounds like my week, dangit.

Plans are now in motion for the second annual Lubbock Comic Book Expo! It’s set for Saturday, May 2, at the Science Spectrum.

Looks like there are some changes in store — the location moved from the back room of the Science Spectrum to a room closer to the front entrance, and that means to get in, you’ll have to pay for admission into the main museum section of the Science Spectrum itself: $7.50 for adults, $6 for kids, but just $2 for Science Spectrum members, and you’ll still get in free if you come in costume!

There’s still room for vendors, exhibitors, creators, and of course, volunteers. Head over to the official website for more info.

Expect more announcements to come soon, and mark your calendar for May 2.

Just one review today? Sure, but it’s for DC’s very best all-ages comic. And it’s for what appears to be the very best issue of this comic ever.

Tiny Titans #12

Alright, first of all, dig that cover. A nice little bit of subversion to kick things off. All of DC’s mainstream comics this month have had “Faces of Evil” covers with a spotlight on the supervillains. And “Tiny Titans” jumps on that bandwagon with a twist on the concept that’s colorful and funny. I love that.

What’s our plot this time? Well, Trigon, substitute teacher at Sidekick Elementary School, has snagged five tickets to a baseball game, and he wants to take Principal Slade along with him — just to kiss up to the boss a little. Slade decides what the heck, so Slade grabs his kids, Rose and Joseph, and Trigon grabs his daughter, Raven, and they all head out to the ballgame.

With me so far?

Good, ’cause here’s where things get crazy.

It turns out that Darkseid, Lord of Apokolips, Possessor of the Omega Force, Master of the Anti-Life Equation, the Rock, the Chain, and the Lightning…

…is the school’s lunch lady.

So while Slade, Trigon, and their families are at the game, meeting up with, by gum, Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four and his son, Franklin:

…Lunch Lady Darkseid gets to be Principal for a Day.

(And those are the cutest little parademons ever!)

So Darkseid has something really, really awful planned for the Tiny Titans, right? Oh, you betcha. He’s going to make everyone take their final exams early!

Okay, I give up. This is officially the Awesomest Thing in Awesometown.

Verdict: Thumbs way, way up. Dan DiDio, Paul Levitz, Grant Morrison, your services are no longer needed. Art Baltazar and Franco are going to be taking over the DC Universe from now on.

First snow in late January? BAH! Hope it melts off soon. I hate snow.

I really hope it melts off soon. I been eating canned soup too much, and I need to go to the store. Better dig out the parka and snow tires…

Okay, I just gotta throw this out here real quick. You guys like The Onion, right? Check out their new article about Obama’s challenges with his new Cabinet…

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama expressed frustration Wednesday after members of his cabinet failed to recognize his allusion to the 24th issue of the comic series Savage Sword Of Conan during their first major meeting together.

Obama, whose upcoming challenges include organizing a massive effort to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure, was reportedly unprepared for the confused silence he received upon suggesting that his cabinet “team up with Taurus of Nemedia” to secure the necessary funding from Congress.

(snip)

Obama, an avid collector of Conan The Barbarian and Spider-Man comic books since he was a child, was referencing the 1977 story “The Tower Of The Elephant,” written by Roy Thomas. According to administration sources, no one in Obama’s cabinet was familiar with the magazine-sized comic, though Labor Secretary Hilda Solis claimed to have once seen Conan the Destroyer.

Even by The Onion‘s usual high standards, this one was particularly funny. Go read the whole thing.

Seems like ages since I got to review some horror comics, so let’s hit a couple of Dark Horse Comics’ best.

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #2

We actually get three stories here. First, after getting betrayed by the Wild Hunt, Hellboy ends up losing consciousness and missing the entire fight — when he comes to, all the Wild Hunters are already dead, killed by the quartet of giants they’d claimed they were going to kill. How did Hellboy escape? A helpful talking sparrow reveals that he’s been temporarily blessed with invisibility. Unfortunately, just because he’s invisible doesn’t mean the giants can’t hear him.

In the second story, we get the history of Gruagach of Lough Leane, a former elf and current broken-down pig monster. While he used to be a powerful shapeshifter, he lost his powers because of love (Ain’t that always the way?), got bested by Hellboy, and trapped in the piggish body he currently resides in. Can he escape his curse and resurrect his former queen?

Finally, we get the story of “How Koshchei Became Deathless” — the story, obviously, of Koshchei the Deathless, a figure from Russian mythology. In this version, Koshchei was originally a common soldier, dying on a battlefield, granted healing by a dragon in exchange for nine years of service. After leaving the dragon’s employ, he is granted a magical shirt that will prevent all injury, which gives him uncommon success on the battlefield. He marries a princess, but she conspires with another suitor to steal away his magic shirt and kill him.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The stories about Koshchei and Gruagach are actually the standouts here — full of the weird lovelorn tragedies and unexplainable magicks that fill all the best mythologies.

B.P.R.D.: The Black Goddess #1

The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense is still trying to track down Martin Gilfryd, the near-immortal wizard who has kidnapped pyrokinetic Liz Sherman. While a small team led by Abe Sapien and Johann Kraus dig through the files of an abandoned base, Kate Corrigan interviews Harold McTell, an old man who is the last surviving member of Lobster Johnson’s team during the 1940s. Lobster’s investigation of Gilfryd was marked by the mysterious deaths of almost all of his agents. But does McTell still have information that he can offer the BPRD?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Solid characterization and dialogue, with some great pulp elements and random spooky bits tossed in here and there.

Okay, it’s not actually International Fan Letter Week. But let’s have one anyway.

When Forrest J. Ackerman was dying, his friends and family asked for his fans to send him letters, and I was one of the people who put a letter in an envelope and sent it on its way. And it felt good. So many of my favorite writers died long before it ever occurred to me to send them a note saying I thought they were cool, and it was nice to, for once, have the opportunity to say thanks.

So that’s what we’re gonna do. Pick out some of your favorite people — authors, artists, actors, musicians, politicians, or anyone else. Make sure they’re still alive — yes, Shakespeare and Mark Twain were great writers, but you’re a bit too late to get a postcard to them.

Write ’em a short letter, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on it, send it on. If they’ve got an e-mail address, use that. If they don’t, it may take some digging to find their mailing address. For most writers, find out who their publishers are, and send the letter to the publisher. Most movie studios will pass fan mail on to actors and directors. Do a little research, and you should be able to find a way to contact most folks.

It doesn’t have to be anyone working in comics — neither of mine (Ray Bradbury and Terry Pratchett, by the way) are. Just pick someone who’s still alive and whose work has positively impacted your life.

Your letter doesn’t have to be long and flowery. Just a note saying “You rock” to your favorite writers, artists, creative types.

Everybody git to writing…