Bahlactus demands whuppins — SO LET THERE BE WHUPPINS!

From the most recent issue of “Justice Society of America”: Citizen Steel unleashes on some bad guys.

First, he grabs a guy out of the air…

And then he — owww, my gosh, I think he killed him! I’m pretty sure that guy’s skull’s crushed, man…

And I’m pretty sure both those guys are dead, too.

Is this the type of thing we want kids reading? Shouldn’t this stuff be regulated? Can’t we — Oh, wait, they were neo-Nazis? Never mind, killin’ Nazis is legal. I think it’s in the Constitution and everything…

I’ve snagged a pretty good crop of new comics this week — just in time to get hit by a sudden busy spree, both at the office and at home. So let’s see if we can get some reviews done very quickly for some of the new books.

Shadowpact #15

The plot is fairly straightforward. Dr. Gotham is an insanely powerful sorceror who wants to kill the magic-based superheroes in the Shadowpact on behalf of his evil, interdimensional god. He eats a sandwich and holds a busload of kids hostage in Chicago ’til the team shows up, then he kills Chicago.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The entire story is all about establishing Dr. Gotham as an unusual and very dangerous villain, and it does an incredible job. You really wouldn’t expect the two highlights of a story to be (1) Dr. Gotham eating a sandwich and (2) killing every living thing in Chicago, but it works amazingly well. Of course, I’m sure they’ll undo the “killing Chicago” thing next month, but still, this issue is a great ride.

Runaways #27

There are really two reasons I picked this one up. First, the cover here is just awesome. Second, I was told that the Yellow Kid (the star of the very first comic strip, “Hogan’s Alley,” back in the late 1890s) had an appearance, and I’ve long been a fan of old comic strips.

Well, the problem is that the Yellow Kid appears in just one panel. And beyond that, I know almost nothing about the main characters in the comic, so most of the stuff that went on here was completely lost on me. I will say, however, that I guffawed at the bit where the little pre-teen character (Molly Hayes, Wikipedia tells me) warns everyone that girls are on this side of the room, boys on that side, and no kissing or yucky stuff is allowed. I also like the fact that they hang out with a dinosaur. Don’t remember whether anyone ate sandwiches, although one character threatens to eat someone else.

Verdict: Can’t really give one. I’m just not familiar enough with what’s going on.

Justice Society of America #7

First of all, let me direct your attention to this cover by Alex Ross of the JSA’s newest member, Citizen Steel. This was not the same cover that was previewed — the preview got a lot of attention when it was released because Citizen Steel was, um, well, shall we say, in a state of, umm… Well, hang on just a second. (gets out thesaurus, looks up various interesting words, giggles in an immature manner) Tumescence. Turgidity. Perpendicularity. Upstandingness. (giggles some more)

Anyway, this caused a lot of hollering and weeping amongst the fanboys — you see, while they consider it a constitutional right to leer and drool over upskirt pictures of Mary Marvel and “Turkey’s Done” pictures of Psylocke, fanboys apparently run the risk of actually dying if they see a picture of a dude sportin’ lumber.

Anyway, it seems that DC decided that, if they were willing to reduce the size of Power Girl’s breasts on the last “Justice League” cover, maybe they should reduce the number of socks stuffed down Citizen Steel’s shiny shorts.

Oh, the story? The story’s fine. Citizen Steel makes his grand debut by helping beat the heck out of a bunch of neo-Nazi thugs. All that, plus Starman and Superman eating sloppy joes.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Who doesn’t love sloppy joes?

You may remember we discussed the concept of the comics crossover a while back. Well, the problem with a lot of them is that their primary purpose is marketing — stick a couple of popular characters together and hope people will buy some extra comics. The story may be alright, or it may not be. Not that many people care. What they care about is the fact that we’ve got Superman and Spider-Man together in this comic! Or Wonder Woman and Witchblade! Or Wolverine and Deathblow! We need to sell a lot of comics, think the company bigwigs, and we sure hope the suckers are willing to buy this one…

No, they’re not all that way. You find some where it’s clear that the folks involved said to themselves, “Wow, we can have a heck of a lot of fun with this. We can tell a cool stories about both of these wildly different characters, we can tell ’em so the fans won’t get mad, and even if it doesn’t sell that well, everyone who reads it is gonna LOVE it!”

Which leads me to what I believe is the greatest crossover in history.

Yes, it’s “Archie Meets the Punisher.”

Just the backstory on this one is great. The people at Archie Comics were sitting around joking about comics crossovers and picked out the Punisher, Marvel’s grim-and-gritty vigilante, as the worst possible crossover candidate for their all-American teenager. Batton Lash, the creator of the “Wolf and Byrd, Counselors of the Macabre” series, heard the idea and wrote up a story proposal. The Archie folks sent it on to Marvel, still half-thinking of it as a joke — and the Marvel publishers decided they wanted to do it. Lash ended up writing the story, with art chores shared by Marvel’s John Buscema, who drew all the scenes with the Punisher, and Archie’s Stan Goldberg, who drew all the scenes with Archie.

The comic was published in 1994. The serious comics fans rolled their eyes and passed it over. The oddballs grabbed it, cackled over it, and loved it.

So how the heck do you bring two characters this different together into one comic book? Well, you start with Frank Castle pursuing a dangerous drug pusher named Red Fever — and he has to bring him in alive, because the government thinks they can get lots of info about the underworld from him. Unfortunately, Red gives the Punisher the slip, heads for the bus station, and buys a ticket. Gee, this guy looks strangely familiar…

Holy moley, you don’t think this is gonna lead to some uncomfortable mistaken-identity mix-ups later, do ya?

Hmmmm. Could be!

So the Punisher thinks Archie is Red, Archie’s friends think Red is Archie, a bunch of thugs from out-of-town are gunning for everyone, Jughead really, really likes hamburgers, and then there’s the big sock-hop over at the high school! Miss Grundy falls in love with Frank when she thinks he’s the school’s new coach, Frank marvels at how clean and crime-free Riverdale High is, and all the excitement has Arch starting his own version of the Punisher’s War Diary…

The story is almost unbelievably weird, but it’s still fun to read, and it’s still one heck of a good story. The characterizations and artwork are perfect — you don’t get stuck with either Archie or the Punisher acting out-of-character. It spotlights the great stuff that make both the Punisher and Archie work so well. Yes, the concept is bizarre, but it works because the creators loved the characters and because they were having mad, crazy, howling fun when they put it all together — and that comes through when you read the story.

If you can find it, check it out — but be prepared for a long hunt, and be ready to shell out some serious cash. This one’s reputation has grown steadily over the years, and it’s not at all easy to find any more. But it’s worth the time and worth the price.

Doug Marlette died Tuesday in a car accident. He was an editorial cartoonist, the creator of the “Kudzu” comic strip, and a novelist. He won a Pulitzer Prize for his editorial cartoons back in 1988.

Born in Greensboro, Marlette grew up in North Carolina, Mississippi and Florida. He graduated from Florida State in 1971 and joined the Observer the next year. After more than a decade in Charlotte, he moved to the Atlanta Constitution before stops at New York Newsday and the Tallahassee Democrat.

“Cartoons are windows into the human condition,” Marlette said in 2006 after joining the staff at the Tulsa World. “It’s about life.”

Marlette was a distinguished visiting professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill’s journalism school, and was inducted into the school’s Hall of Fame in 2002.

Robert E. Lorton III, publisher and president of the Tulsa World, told the newspaper’s Web site that Marlette’s death was “a great tragedy, not only for the Tulsa World family, but for all who knew Doug.”

“He was more than a great cartoonist and author, he was a tremendous human being,” Lorton said. “Words cannot express the grief that we are all feeling today.”

Marlette’s website has a pretty good overview of his work.

The much-despised dork

I don’t read “For Better or For Worse” — pretty much for the same reasons I don’t read “Judge Parker” or “Mary Worth”: because soap opera comic strips make me want to hit people with sticks. But Lynn Johnston’s “For Better or For Worse (let’s abbreviate that to FBOFW, okay?) has always irritated me more, because it tries to be a gag strip and a drama strip at the same time, and because it’s badly written, and not very well drawn, and because it drowns everything in cheap, syrupy sentiment.

In the overall scheme of things, FBOFW is far from the most important or interesting comic strip. It ain’t in the top 50. It ain’t in the top 100. “Snuffy Smith” is a better comic than FBOFW. “Marmaduke” is better. “Nancy” is better. It certainly doesn’t hold up when compared to the giants like “Peanuts,” “Calvin & Hobbes,” “Pogo,” “Little Nemo,” or “Krazy Kat.”

Gaaah, I don’t like “For Better or For Worse” a bit, and that’s all there is to it.

So reading that other people — even fans of the strip — are irritated with both the direction FBOFW is taking as it heads toward the end of the strip and with one of the character’s apparently impossibly-irritating love interest Anthony? Well, that’s music to my FBOFW-hating ears.

In retrospect, Liz’s story arc is clear. Many readers — particularly, no doubt, young readers of Liz’s age like myself — thought that Liz’s enthusiasm for her teaching career and exciting life in Mtigwaki represented a young woman’s development into an independent person capable of fulfilling her dreams and making her way in the wide world. To Johnston, however, Liz’s young-adult life — the fulfilling work, the exploration of new places and cultures, the sexy boyfriends — has been nothing more than playtime. She’s had her fun and sown her wild oats, and now it’s time for her to grow up and adopt a “real” adult life: a life as much like her parents’ as possible, complete with prefab house, prefab toddler, and a husband picked out by Mom and Dad. For years, characters have periodically commented on how much Anthony resembles Liz’s father, with the implication that this makes him perfect for her. By reuniting with him, Liz will accept her destiny as a pale copy of her mother, keeping house right down the street from her watchful parents. The path to adulthood doesn’t lead to independence and a vast horizon of possibility; it leads right back to the childhood doorstep.

 

Makes more sense than Liz and Anthony

This is why I, and so many other readers, hate Anthony. His joyless, colorless, sexless presence hovers over us like a sulky specter, the Ghost of Dreams Deferred, reminding us of the deadly dull version of adulthood we might one day awaken to find ourselves trapped within. Even in the funny pages, traditionally the one haven of childlike fun in the gray, grown-up world of the daily newspaper, we can’t hide from the clammy fate that Anthony represents. So we hate him, in a deep, primal way.

Really, the entire essay makes me BWA-HA-HAA like nobody’s business.

Here’s the big problem — FBOFW has been the beneficiary of a couple decades’ worth of fans insisting that the strip’s real-time storylines make it “more realistic” and “more involving” than other comic strips. And now, Johnston has pulled the rug out from under all those fans — in real life, most people don’t have the option of living next door to their parents, even if they wanted to, and most people don’t find their True Loves in high school. (And who’d want to? High school blows.)

But Johnston has decided that she wants her strip to end with a completely moronic fantasy, and she’s willing to honk off her fans to do it. That’s wonderful. More BWA-HA-HA for me.

Interesting news: DC Comics has worked up Zudacomics.com, a new online imprint that will let aspiring comics creators submit their own work for publication.

Most people who produce online comics do so as labors of love. Some post their work online free, hoping to catch a publisher’s eye or gain a following, but Zuda will offer a rare chance to become a paid professional.Each winner will be awarded a one-year contract to produce their online series, DC Comics executives said. The company, a division of the Warner Brothers Entertainment, part of Time Warner, views the initiative as a chance to increase its library of intellectual properties, which can be lucrative as films, television shows and toys. DC Comics will also have the right to print the comics in collected editions.

“We’re not looking for a specific type of material — we’re actively looking for everything,” said Ron Perazza, the director of creative services for DC and one of Zuda’s chief architects. “We’re going into this with no ego. We can’t possibly know what an entire community will want to read,” he said.

I remember back when all the publishers would let you send them submissions. DC announced they were going to stop accepting submissions a few years ago — I guess they decided they needed a little new blood in the industry.

Any cartoonists out there interested in sending something in? Click here to go to their website.

(Link from Kevin Church)

Will Terrell of the Lubbock Sketch Club drops us a line to clue everyone in on a big event they’ve got coming up this weekend.

Attention Lubbock Sketchclub!

Next Saturday (July 14th) We will be hosting a special guest. Lance Myers will be joining us. Lance is a professional animator, he was the lead animator on “A Scanner Darkly” and was also an animator on the movies “Space Jam” and “Quest for Camelot.” If you’re interested in knowing more about this guy, visit his website. He’s offered to give us a demonstration, as well as talk about what it’s like to work in the industry, what it takes to get started, and most importantly what it’s like to leave Lubbock. We’ll also be sketching and having fun as normal. Make sure to help us give him a warm welcome and give him plenty of reasons to come back (and maybe bring friends!). In the months to come we have some HUGE projects brewing. Very exciting stuff. Both with the sketchclub and our comics group. So stay tuned. Thanks!

Everyone mark your calendars! The Sketch Club meets every first and third Saturday of the month at 7 p.m., over at the Freebird’s restaurant out on the South Loop. If you’ve got any interest in animation, this is the type of event you don’t want to miss.

Remember the toddler I wrote about last month who had the genetic condition that allows him to really pile on the muscle?

Well, it turns out other animals can get that condition, too, including dogs. For example, there’s this one particular whippet named Wendy.

You see, this is what a normal whippet looks like.

And this is what Wendy looks like.

Hully chee, it’s the Hulk!

While you’re struggling to pick your jaw up off the floor, check out this article about Wendy.

The uber-muscled whippets are called “bullies,” not because of their nature — Wendy likes nothing better than a good back scratch and isn’t shy about sitting in your lap to ask for one — but because of their size. She’s about twice the weight of an average whippet, but with the same height and small narrow head — and the same size heart and lungs, which means she probably won’t live as long as normal whippets.

Hansen has had Wendy, now four, since she bought the dog from a Shawnigan Lake breeder when she was eight months old.

No word yet on whether Wendy can fly or has heat vision…

I didn’t pick up many comics this week — probably could’ve grabbed a few extras, but I was feeling a bit cheap. So let’s get us a trio of quick reviews out of the way.

 

PS238 #24

Well, Tyler Marlocke is stuck in an interdimensional wasteland, thanks to teleporting bully Charles Brigman, now a student at the evil Praetorian Academy. Tyler’s in big trouble because he’s the only student at PS238 who doesn’t have any superpowers, and Charles is pretty darn ruthless. Anyway, Charles finds out that Tyler’s parents are some of the most powerful superheroes on the planet, and he panics and runs off. Tyler also meets the other person stranded on this rock — a convenience store clerk who also happens to be a robot.

Meanwhile, half-angel/half-demon Malphast and conspiracy-minded goofball Cecil take up the quest to rescue Tyler, which involves travel through evil dimensions, deals with both of Malphast’s parents, and Cecil picking up far too many funny mutations.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The entire comic is very entertaining, but Cecil turning into a trenchcoated Cthulhoid monster pushed it way, way over the top. If you’re interested in offbeat, funny superheroics, check this series out.

 

Countdown #43

Well, we’ve got the funeral for Bart Allen, and it’s boring. We’ve got Monarch offering to let Forerunner lead his armies, and it’s boring. We’ve got Holly Robinson hanging out with Amazons, and it’s boring. We’ve got Donna Troy, Jason Todd, and one of the Monitors arguing about going to look for Ray Palmer, the missing Atom, and that’s boring, too.

Verdict: Thumbs down. It’s boring.

 

Outsiders #49

This one’s the conclusion of a fairly lengthy crossover with the “Checkmate” series. The Outsiders and Checkmate try to save Nightwing, Captain Boomerang, and Sasha Bordeaux. Boomerang apparently spent all last issue getting tortured by the evil Chang Tzu, and Bordeaux is getting tortured this issue. Nightwing pukes up a very small cutting torch he’d swallowed before this whole thing (because you never know when you’ll need a cutting torch, I guess. Or maybe Nightwing likes to swallow cutting torches. Super-people are weird.) and he and Boomerang rescue Bordeaux, with an assist from Batman. Later, Nightwing announces he’s quitting, and Batman is taking over the team.

Verdict: Thumbs down. It didn’t make sense that Nightwing would listen to a teammate getting tortured last issue and not barf up his fancy cutting torch to escape then. It didn’t make sense that Boomerang wouldn’t kick him in the butt for not trying to rescue him before. Plus, there are just too many characters to keep track of, what with all the Outsiders and all the Checkmate crew, too.

Here’s the most interesting thing I found in this issue: a preview for the new Outsiders team.

 

For the uninitiated, it looks like the team is going to consist of Batman, Katana, Catwoman, Metamorpho, Grace, Martian Manhunter, and Captain Boomerang. Observations: Catwoman and Martian Manhunter are big surprises for this team; Thunder off the team is a big disappointment; I think this will mark the first time that Catwoman has been on a non-supervillain team; Katana is still wearing her painfully ugly new costume — surely I can’t be the only person who hates that completely ridiculous outfit…

As Bahlactus commands: Friday nights are to commemorated on all comic book blogs by fighting! Fighting! FIGHTING!

Hey, what’s Giant Evil Uncle Sam up to?

Hmm, a good question, Giant Evil Uncle Sam, and one which I have not previously pondered. Any ideas?

Oh, goody!

OH NO HE DIN’T!

(All images from the Darnell and Ross “Uncle Sam” comic. Giant Evil Uncle Sam fights dirty. I like him.)