Richard Stark’s Parker: The Man with the Getaway Face – A Prelude to “The Outfit”

My, my, my, looka here. Here’s how this goes. Darwyn Cooke wanted to adapt four of the “Parker” hardboiled crime novels by Donald Westlake (writing as Richard Stark). He was going to adapt the first four, but there were some of the later novels he wanted to work on more, so he eliminated two, including the second Parker novel, “The Man with the Getaway Face.” But it turned out, he kinda needed that second one, ’cause he needed to make sure readers knew that Parker had gotten plastic surgery to disguise his appearance. So instead of doing a full-length adaptation, he cut it down to just 24 pages, so he could use it as the introduction in his next graphic novel.

And because he’s so nice to us, he and IDW Publishing went and released that first chapter as a stand-alone comic.

And they made it oversized.

And they priced it as two dollars.

Yeahhh.

So what happens? Parker gets his new face to help him hide out from the Mob, but it’s taken out a bunch of his money, so he needs to heist some cash fast. He partners up with some old associates, Skim and Handy, and Skim’s new girlfriend Alma, a diner waitress who clued Skim in on an armored truck that’d be easy pickings for a job. But Parker doesn’t trust Alma — and for good reason. Will Parker be able to grab the dough and get away clean? Or is everyone looking at time in the pen?

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s a short, fast heist thriller, with artwork by the always-brilliant Darwyn Cooke. And it’s only two freakin’ dollars. The only downside? This thing is colossal, and I have no idea where I’m going to store it. Nevertheless, at two measly bucks, it’s more than a bargain. Pick it up, or you’re a stone fool.

iZombie #3

While Claire the vampire sets her sights on Spot’s friend Ashok, the monster hunters stalk her in return. Meanwhile, Spot, in full-blown were-terrier mode, meets with Gwen the zombie and Ellie the ghost to bring them some more evidence in Gwen’s ongoing murder investigation into who killed the last guy whose brain she snacked on. The investigation leads to a spooky old house, and Ellie, trusting in her ghostly status to keep her safe and undetected, goes in to have a look around. Things don’t turn out the way she was expecting. Is everyone about to get their supernatural secrets exposed?

Verdict: Thumbs up. A very fun story and really excellent art. Extra points for Laura Allred’s coloring — she’s going for an old-school comics look, with cool halftone effects. Yeah, Mike Allred’s art is great, but Laura Allred’s coloring is making this one look really unique.

Jonah Hex #57

A lot of our framework in this story comes from a couple of kids telling tall tales about Jonah Hex’s fabled exploits, like killing ten outlaws with a single bullet. They hear that Hex is going to be in a nearby town, so they sneak out late at night so they can see what he looks like. And they get more than they bargained for — namely, a bunch of old DC western heroes, like the Trigger Twins, Bat Lash, Scalphunter, Nighthawk, and Cinnamon. And of course, there’s a big gunfight. And some snoopy kids getting in trouble, but getting their own tall tale they can tell later…

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s one of the lighter Jonah Hex stories I’ve seen, but I really enjoyed it anyway. It’s cool to see all those old DC characters — and most of them aren’t just guest appearances for the sake of renewing the copyrights — several characters get some actual business and plotpoints of their own. It was a good, fun, and pretty over-the-top story — hope we get to see more of these from time to time.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Have I mentioned yet that everything Allie Brosh does is awesome?
• “Big Bang Big Boom” is epic graffiti animation.
• Improv Everywhere finds your lack of faith disturbing.

Kill Shakespeare #3

Hamlet has been rescued from Iago by Falstaff, while Richard III makes a political bargain with Macbeth and Lady Macbeth. Falstaff tells Hamlet that the wizard Shakespeare is actually a good guy, and they’re both visited briefly by another of Shakespeare’s allies, the fearsome but diminutive faerie called Puck. The travelers visit an inn to rest but are ambushed by Richard’s men. Their disguises as some of the inn’s whores is quickly seen through, but they still manage to make their escape. Macbeth, however, finds himself on the wrong end of a betrayal.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I was kinda not expecting to like this one as much as I did, but the appearance of more and more of Shakespeare’s characters is helping to keep this entertaining. The art is very nice — loved the eerie appearance of Robin Goodfellow, and Falstaff is perfectly rendered. I also liked the way Richard’s men wore noticeably different uniforms than Macbeth’s soldiers — you’d expect both to wear stereotypical medieval armor, but they don’t. And I thought the increasingly rude, crude, and lewd nature of the story actually worked pretty well — remember, Shakespeare’s plays were often pretty raunchy…

Hellboy: The Storm #1

Well, Hellboy’s the rightful heir to the British throne, and Britain’s noble dead will soon be rising from their graves to serve him. And by coincidence, Hellboy and his friend Alice are investigating a strange church burglary — someone stole the bodies of three ancient knights. But the priest confides after the local police have left that what he actually saw were the knights leaving the church on their own. Hellboy tells Alice that he’s given up drinking after spending the last few years pretty hopelessly sauced. After a very weird incident with a guy ominously ringing a bell (seriously, doesn’t sound like much, but it’s way creepy), they’re both attacked by a monster pledging to be just the first of an army that will wipe humanity off the face of the earth.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Loves me some good creepy Hellboy comics. Writing by Mike Mignola, art by Duncan Fegredo, and awesomeness all over the place.

Chimichanga #3

The monstrous Chimichanga has been captured by the police, and Lula the bearded girl has been kidnapped by Dinderly Pharmaceuticals, who need her chin-whiskers to make their new flatulence drug. Wrinkle, the old man who owns Wrinkle’s Traveling Circus, can’t find any legal help, and most of the circus performers hate both Lula and Chimichanga, so they won’t help. Only Heratio the Boy-Faced Fish is willing to help raid the city pound to rescue Chimichanga. But even if Chimichanga can find Lula, do they have any hope against the corporate might of a heartless pharmaceutical megacorporation?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yes, it’s goofy and gross the way you’d expect from an Eric Powell comic, but it’s also got more than its share of sweetness in it, too. (Appreciate the sacrifice, kids — Powell will now order me hunted down and killed for noticing that…)

Today’s Cool Links:

• The Sandman/DCU crossovers
• You know Rodrigo y Gabriela, don’t you? Better get to know ’em, ’cause they’re awesome.
• Holocaust survivor dances at death camp sites. Take that, Nazis!

Batman and Robin #13

Oberon Sexton’s true identity has been revealed — not a masked detective and mystery writer, he’s actually the Joker. He claims to have turned over a new leaf without the old Batman around to torment, but can anyone trust anything he says? Dick Grayson soon determines that Dr. Hurt, the man who tried to kill Bruce Wayne and claimed to be either Dr. Thomas Wayne or the Devil, is back on the scene and has managed to infect almost everyone in Gotham City with a contagious addiction. And while Robin confronts the Joker and prepares to beat him to death with a crowbar, Dick and Commissioner Gordon come under attack from Professor Pyg’s Dollotrons.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Amazing artwork from Frazer Irving, amazing writing from Grant Morrison. Lots of dominos being uncovered, lots more falling. Everything with the Joker is brilliant — I really can’t tell right now if he’s reformed because his Batman is gone or if he’s just pulling another scam. We don’t see much of Dr. Hurt, but what we do see is wonderful and scary. I get the feeling this storyarc is going to be pretty awesome.

Secret Six #23

This one is apparently a flashback, an untold story, dating from before Issue #19. Don’t know why we’re not seeing it ’til now, but ehh, whatever. We’re on a Carribean island where a kingpin called himself Nero has set up a special hunting range for a bunch of wealthy psychopaths allowing them to hunt and kill human beings using powered armor and remote-controlled drones. But killing a bunch of normals isn’t all that much fun for these guys. But Nero has a treat in store — he’s hired the Secret Six for a job — or in reality, so he can set them up as the prey for the next day’s hunt. Anyone wanna guess how this one’s going to end?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Sometimes, it’s just fun to see rich douchemooks bite off more than they can chew.

JSA All-Stars #8

So there’s this South American country called Parador, and they’re killing crooks in the US by basically sacrificing some of them to their weird gods and dosing others with a drug that makes them see their weird gods. Sounds like a pretty, um, weird country. After Cyclone tries to start up a relationship with King Chimera, most of the team travels to Parador where they end up running into some of the Paradoran gods, including some leopard and monkey monsters and a giant spider.

Verdict: A little from Column A, a little from Column B. It’s a bit of a confusing plotline, but it’s playing out well. Maybe it’ll make more sense later.

Today’s Cool Links:

• There are a lot of remembrances of Harvey Pekar after his death yesterday, but I thought this one said all the stuff I’d been thinking very well.
• David Brothers’ “7 Artists” series examines the brilliant comics artwork of Ed McGuinness, Chris Bachalo, Amanda Conner, Richard Corben, David Aja, Paolo Rivera, and Doug Mahnke.
• Flash mob with the Opera Company of Philadelphia
• If this were a lolcat, it’d say “U HAZ A FLAVOR.”

Thor and the Warriors Four #4

Loki and the Enchantress are triumphant — their spell has turned Thor and the other Asgardians into babies, and they’ve obtained the Golden Apples of Idunn, ensuring themselves immortality — and without the Golden Apples, everyone else in Asgard is now rapidly aging to their true ages of several thousand years old. The kids in Power Pack seem largely helpless to stop them, aside from talking a little smack. And even worse, the whole thing appears to have kicked off Ragnarok, the Twilight of the Gods and the end of the world. Jormungand, the immense World Serpent, appears to fight Thor. Alex Power is able to call on the help of Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers, but they can’t do much against a giant dragon fated to strangle the world. Will Thor have to sacrifice himself to save everyone? Or is someone else worthy to assist?

Verdict: Thumbs up times a billion. This was the best comic I got last week. Absolutely HUGE props to writer Alex Zalben and artists Gurihiru for this one — I haven’t had this much fun reading a comic book in ages. I’m trying to limit the spoilers, but there was a ton of funny stuff in here, and a ton-and-a-half of awesome stuff going on in here. There were about a dozen panels in this comic that could be entered in a Most Awesome Comics Panel of the Year contest, but I can’t show most of them to you, because they’d be spoilers, and this story is just too cool to spoil. I can, however, show you this:

Beta Ray Bill with an afro? I would watch a TV show based on that alone.

Oh, heck, we didn’t even talk about Colleen Coover‘s backup feature, with Hercules babysitting the Power siblings and telling them stories about his Twelve Labors. There’s not a lot of real plot going on here — it’s really just Herc telling stories and philosophizin’ about mythology and science — but it’s still a whole boatload of awesome. Coover’s characterization of Hercules is just perfect, and the final panel of this one should definitely be entered into that Most Awesome Comics Panel of the Year contest, too.

Tails of the Pet Avengers: The Dogs of Summer #1

This is really just a showcase of Chris Eliopoulos‘s very cute Franklin Richards stories, with a few guest appearances from the Pet Avengers. In the first one, Franklin accidentally creates a giant garbage monster and must defeat it with the assistance of the Pet Avengers. Later, Franklin has to dogsit Lockjaw for the Inhumans, and he gets his first dog, Lockjaw’s grandson, courtesy of his future self. And there’s a story illustrated by Ig Guara that features Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and Fin Fang Foom and sets up this fall’s “Avengers vs. the Pet Avengers” series.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Mostly reprints, but they’re fun reprints.

Hercules: Twilight of a God #2

In the distant future, Hercules is the hero of the Andromeda Galaxy, and his kids and grandkids are the rulers of the planet Wilamean. But Hercules is being attacked by a new Silver Surfer, and a black hole threatens to swallow the entire galaxy. Can Hercules survive the battle? Can anyone?

Verdict: Ehh, thumbs down. I liked it on my first read-through, but the non-stop slugfest just didn’t do very well on repeated readings.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Parents, this is required reading if you’re going to take your kids swimming this summer.
• Terry Savage is the most pitiful wretch of a loser on the planet.
• When they say this is going to ruin your day, they really do mean it’s going to ruin your day.
• Woot got bought by Amazon, so they put out this great letter announcing their own acquisition.

Well, okay, I’ve had most of the week off, but now I’m back and ready to really get my nose to the grindstone… and then go right back to the weekend. Huzzah!

So anyway, my week away from blogging sure didn’t mean I didn’t have to deal with all the usual workweek frustrations, and that means it’s definitely time to work some of those irritations away with a little gratuitous violence. In other words, it’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

This week’s fight comes from August 2009’s Richard Stark’s Parker: The Hunter, based on the novel by Richard Stark and adapted by Darwyn Cooke, as hard-boiled criminal Parker finally catches up to lowlife sleaze Mal Resnick.

That is not a smile that says “Hey, guys, let’s go get diet sodas and play Pictionary!”

And I couldn’t bring myself to break this next one up into individual panels, so here’s a whole page of Parker strangling Mal to death.

Holy cow, that’s great stuff. I’ve recommended y’all get this before, haven’t I? Well, seriously, y’all go pick this one up.

I got a great big stack of comics sitting on the desk, all ready to start reviewing for the week.

And I’m also getting a bit tired of blogging. The weather is nice, I’ve got a stack of interesting new games I could be playing, I’ve got a bunch of books I never have time to read, and I’ve got non-blog writing I’ve been wanting to do forever. The blog gets in the way of all of that.

So here’s what I’m gonna do — get all these comics reviewed today, then take most of the rest of the week off, except for Friday Night Fights. Maybe I can recharge my batteries, maybe I’ll get some writing done, maybe I’ll actually finish a book for once.

So here we go…

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #18

Batman teams up with the Martian Manhunter to take on Ma’Alefa’Ak, the other last survivor of Mars, and later, Dr. Fate assists when Batman is possessed by the evil Martian.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Fun story with a few twists and turns. Evil Batman is lotsa fun.

The Flash #3

Captain Boomerang gets magic black-lantern boomerangs, Barry Allen gets in trouble at work, and the Flash gets chased by the futuristic Rogue-inspired cops

Verdict: Thumbs down. It’s just not particularly fun or exciting.

Green Lantern #55

Lobo’s in town, and that means a bunch of ring-slingers are gonna get beat up. All that, plus the origin story of adorable rage-filled Red Lantern cat Dex-Starr!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of great stuff, including Hal on a space motorcycle. And the Dex-Starr origin is worth the price of admission all on its own.

Heralds #5

Nova has kidnapped Valeria Richards, and all the heroines have to go into space to rescue her. Will Frances the diner waitress be able to assist with her mysterious connections to Nova? Or is someone gonna die?

Verdict: Thumbs down. Not enough of Tonci Zonjic’s artwork. Too much confusion in the plot. A whole lot of stuff unresolved. This series started really well — I’m disappointed it ended so poorly.

Joe the Barbarian #6

Joe makes it to Hearth Castle, a deeply friendly and comforting place, where everyone promises to make his life completely happy. But Zyxy and Smoot track him down and try to get him to return to his quest.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Two issues left ’til the end of this one. Joe has to get a soda and try to save both himself and this weird little fantasy world that may be a lot more real than we expect.

Legion of Super-Heroes #2

While the Legionaires try to clean up after the destruction of Titan, Saturn Queen takes control of Ultra Boy, Earth-Man tries, probably deceitfully, to win his new teammates’ trust, and Saturn Girl travels time to find her children.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Too much stuff happening! Come on, it’s just the second issue — shouldn’t there be a little lead-up before we get this many subplots going on at once?

Madame Xanadu #24

Rosalyn is trying to live a normal life, but she’s begun to see visions of normal people with horrific injuries — visions that no one else can see. Can Madame Xanadu help cure her?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very nice work, great setting details for 1963. Rosalyn is a very appealing character. The art by Marley Zarcone is different than normal for this book, but it works very well.

Supergirl #53

The War of the Supermen is over, and New Krypton is destroyed, and now Supergirl doesn’t much wanna be Supergirl anymore. But a new Bizarro Supergirl may soon force that issue.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nice characterization, nice dialogue, cool art. Supergirl’s desire to get out of the spandex-wearing career is written really well.

Aaaaand that’s that. See y’all Friday evening.

Hey, it’s the Friday before the Fourth of July! You know what that means? Yeah, it’s time for WILDLY PATRIOTIC FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Now we could go with a superhero wearing red, white, and blue, but we’re gonna go with someone else instead — and it’s gonna be someone participating in the Great American Pastime — kicking Nazi butt! From July 1962’s Our Army at War #120 by Robert Kanigher and Joe Kubert, here’s Easy Company’s Bulldozer singlehandedly blasting through a Nazi machine gun nest:

Yeeeeaaaah! USA! USA! USA! Whooooo!

Merry pre-Fourth to youse guys, and careful with them firecrackers!

Abe Sapien: The Abyssal Plain #1

A new story about one of Abe’s earlier missions, with writing by Mike Mignola and John Arcudi, and art by Peter Snejbjerg. Long decades after a large number of sailors drowned in a sunken Soviet submarine, Abe is assigned to swim down and recover something called Melchiorre’s Burgonet, a medieval helmet with reputed magical powers. Once Abe gets to the sub, he doesn’t find the expected zombies, just a lot of long-dead waterlogged corpses floating eerily in the darkness. He recovers the helmet, returns to the ship awaiting him, argues with the captain when he wants to salvage the sub, and then finds an unexpected visitor.

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is a wonderfully atmospheric story (and a great cover, too), from the Russian sailor awaiting the water, darkness, and cold that will end him to the dreamlike scenes of drowned bodies floating through the water around and inside the sub. It’s beautifully tense horror, and you should definitely go pick this one up.

Justice Society of America #40

This ends up being a bit of an anticlimactic ending to the time travel storyarc — the message that Future Mr. Terrific sent to Present Mr. Terrific actually arrives back around Issue #32 of this series, back when Mr. Terrific died (briefly) on the operating table. This time, he revives, blurts out a message to “Hatch the egg,” and passes out again. Green Lantern, assuming he may be hearing Michael’s last request, goes out, finds the “egg,” and releases his son Obsidian from captivity. He helps to rout the crop of villains attacking the JSA, then participates in the rest of the Justice Society’s various adventures since then, and Mr. Terrific retains his memories of the future, helping the team get the drop on the Nazi supervillains and eventually offering a scholarship to the girl who would, in the alternate future, have turned out to be his interrogator.

Verdict: I’ll give it a thumbs up. It’s one of the weirder retcons I’ve seen, but it all seems to work out well. And it gets Obsidian back as an active superhero again, so I’ll proclaim that a good thing, too.

Zatanna #2

After helping Black Canary and Vixen take out a pack of were-hyenas in New Orleans, Zatanna returns home to San Francisco for some well-deserved shut-eye, but she soon falls prey to a nightmare-causing demon with the unlikely name of Fuseli, who has been empowered by the evil Brother Night to try to keep her in dreamland forever. And Brother Night is putting the squeeze on Detective Colton, too — he plans on taking over all magical and mundane crime in S.F., and he warns Colton that he better get on his good side. Can he help Zatanna escape from her dreaming prison? And who is Brother Night’s secret ace-in-the-hole?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very nice stuff, fun depiction of a good nightmare villain, some excellent work on cranking up the menace of Brother Night, who really is just creepy as heck, and the surprise guest appearance on the final page really makes for a good cliffhanger.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Esther writes about women as victims in fiction, and why it’s not always a bad thing.
• A live-action version of “What’s Opera, Doc?” Oh, yes, I approve.

Wonder Woman #600

Where to begin? Well, DC has now re-numbered this series to take advantage of the fact that this is the 600th issue since the ’40s, and this is supposed to be the big send-off for Gail Simone, whose run on this series has been pretty popular. But this issue has mostly been overshadowed by all the hubbub about her new costume.

So let’s take this more or less in order.

We’ve got a half-page introduction by Lynda Carter, and some excellent pin-up illustrations by artists including Adam Hughes, Nicola Scott, Phil Jimenez, Ivan Reis, Greg Horn, Francis Manapul, and Shane Davis. Our first story is written by Gail Simone with art by George Perez. Wondy and a host of superheroines take out Professor Ivo’s newest creations — a bunch of Cyber-Sirens who can mind-control men. Afterwards, Diana attends the graduation ceremony for Vanessa Kapatelis, the former Silver Swan.

The next story is written and illustrated by Amanda Conner and features Wondy, Power Girl, and Cassandra Cain cracking down on Egg Fu before Diana assists Kara with a problem with her horrible, horrible cat.

There’s also a short story where Wonder Woman and Superman have to stop a terrorist who’s taken control of Zeus’ thunderbolts.

The big problem here starts with the last story, by the series’ new writer, J. Michael Straczynski. It’s gotten a lot of publicity because JMS announced his new direction for the series (Themyscyra retroactively destroyed in the past, with an amnesiac Wonder Woman on the run from government agents) and debuted a new costume designed by Jim Lee.

This hasn’t been very well-received, partly because of JMS’s mostly unearned arrogance (his attitude in interviews could be summed up as “Wonder Woman sucks and has always sucked. I’m here to make her cool.” All in the voice of Jeff Albertson.) and partly because of Jim Lee’s new costume:

My thoughts? I agree with a lot of what the folks at Project Rooftop had to say — it’s probably a fine costume for any other character, but it’s not a Wonder Woman costume. And Jim Lee really does stick a leather jacket on every character he can. As for the story, it’s a very safe bet that this kind of alternate-reality scheme will be cleaned up between six months to a year from now, possibly by the end of the first storyarc. This is a publicity stunt, no more or less.

But J. Michael Straczynski really is a bit of a jerk, and I haven’t been at all impressed with his DC work in the past year or so. He’d better bring his A-game, or I’m not going to be reading this title for much longer.

Verdict: All told, it’s still a thumbs up. The first story by Simone and Perez is just awesome, at least partly for seeing Perez’s art on this character again. The second story by Amanda Conner is also really cool, partly for Conner’s always outstanding artwork, partly because it’s got a lot of the Power Girl brand of humor.

And a lot of the pin-ups are just absolutely beautiful, especially the ones by Adam Hughes, Phil Jimenez, and Nicola Scott — they should all be out there as posters or book covers or wall paintings, not buried on the inside of a comic book. It’s definitely worth picking up, even with a $5 price tag.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Huzzah! The winners of the latest Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest have been announced!
• Oooh! The Unspeakable Oath, the greatest Lovecraftian gaming magazine ever, is returning from the dead!
• Gavok may have figured out why Max Lord turned evil, and how he’ll be reformed…

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #3

Bruce Wayne is still traveling through time, and this time, he finds himself captured by the infamous pirate Edward Teach — Blackbeard! Bruce has been pulled out of the sea near the sinking pirate ship, the Black Rose, and Blackbeard thinks he’s the dreaded Black Pirate. Blackbeard and his crew want Bruce to lead them to the fabled treasure trove of the Black Pirate deep inside the caverns of Gotham — caverns rumored to be the home of the mysterious and deadly Bat-People. Can Bruce lead the pirates through the trap-laden caves and still manage to escape?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Pirates, people. PIRATES.

American Vampire #4

Newly-minted vampire Pearl Jones has been lured out to save her friend Hattie from a bunch of European vampires — only to learn that Hattie is willing to betray her to the other vamps. She manages to escape, barely, with the help of her friend Henry, but can she still manage to prevail against all those vampires? And in our second story, set in the Old West, Skinner Sweet lures his old Pinkerton nemesis out to his new stomping grounds.

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is turning out to be a really, really fun comic. The artwork is great, the stories are great, the characters are great, and if you love horror or a good historical vampire story, you should be picking this comic up.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Snell knows that some of the stuff from the Golden Age wasn’t even a little bit golden…
• Bully the Little Stuffed Bull does a lengthy examination of the image inducer from Marvel’s X-Men comics.
• Here’s a really fun cartoon called “Fumiko’s Confession.” Outstanding animation that combines anime with the over-the-top Warner Brothers cartoon style.