Another week ended, another weekend begun, and it’s time for another dose of… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from March 2004’s Gotham Central #15 by Ed Brubaker, Greg Rucka, and Michael Lark. The Joker got arrested but managed to get his hands on a gun and started shooting up the cops in the precinct. Is Batman gonna show up to stop his rampage? Actually… no.

Ladies and gentlemen — put your hands together for Maggie Sawyer!

Can you believe Gotham Central is over a decade old? Brilliant series — if you haven’t gotten to read it, go find the trade paperbacks.

Well, the weekend’s here. It’s about time, too. It’s been a rough few weeks, and we got more rough weeks ahead, and I’m really feeling the need for random comic violence. So let’s just jump straight into things with… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from March 1980’s Batman #321 by the dream team of Len Wein, Walter Simonson, and Dick Giordano. The Joker is up to a lot of his usual shenanigans — capturing Gotham citizens, tying them up, threatening them with death, making unfunny jokes — but all the unfunny gets even unfunnier when one of his henchmen forgets to laugh at the boss’s punch lines…

Ahh, the old flag gun gag! The classics never go out of style!

Batman #680

Okay, the Black Glove has invited a bunch of wealthy creeps (most wearing domino masks) to watch him destroy Batman. Batman is still wearing his hyper-garish costume and talking to Bat-Mite. Commissioner Gordon is trapped in a booby-trapped Wayne Manor and getting rescued by Damian and Talia. The Joker is being the Joker, which is bad news for everyone. Jezebel Jet is being held captive. And Bats is getting betrayed by someone he never expected.

Verdict: Thumbs up. There’s plenty of cool stuff here, some of it just amazingly cool, thrilling, wild. But a big chunk of this is about re-emphasizing what an absolutely freaky guy the Joker is. How freaky is the Joker?

The dude gave himself a forked tongue. With a straight razor. For the fun of it.

That’s freaky.

1985 #5

Toby, a little kid from our superhero-less world, has made his way to the Marvel Universe, pursued by the terrible Trapster (who promptly gets hit by a car). He can’t get the Avengers or the Fantastic Four to listen to him, but hey, he knows Spider-Man’s secret identity, so he’s able to have a nice long chat with him. Meanwhile, the psychotic villains of the Marvel Universe have invaded his world, slaughtering everyone they can. Toby’s mom and dad are trying to survive, but can anyone survive… the Coming of Galactus?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am. Still, Toby is fun, his dad is fun, the unleashed villains are fun. I even like the vaguely cheesy contrast between the sunlit Marvel Universe and our own dim and shadowy world.

It’s the next-to-the-last round of this latest series of FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS! And we all know what that means, right? Yep, only another week of me having to bleach the color out of my comic scans. Huzzah!

Tonight, I’m treating y’all to a coupla panels from January 2007’s Batman/Spirit crossover, by Jeph Loeb and Darwyn Cooke, as the Spirit, dressed in Batman’s cape and cowl, socks the Joker in the breadbasket.

I often find myself shouting “ORK!” when I get socked in the breadbasket. I assume everyone does, right?

Is this not the weirdest political season you’ve seen in a while? It seems particularly unusual for us Texans — when was the last time that we actually had a say in helping to pick any of the nominees? Usually, the candidates have been narrowed to one-per-party long before the Texas primary hits. But this year, we’re still in play. Seems to make a lot of people much more interested in the presidential race than normal.

We’ve already had ol’ Bubba in town to talk up Hillary’s candidacy. Right now, Obama’s currently disappointing a lot of folks who were hoping he’d come to town, too. So right now, everyone’s thinking about matters political. And hey, I’m a shameless attention hound, so I figured I’d hunt down nice presidential-themed comic covers for your amusement.

 

Ya ever wondered who various superheroes would vote for? I figure Wonder Woman would be endorsing Hillary, right?

 

Captain America’s got a military background — I figure he’d pull the lever for McCain.

 

Green Arrow? While he hasn’t run for president, he did get elected as mayor of Star City not too long ago. I think he’d definitely be a Kucinich supporter, though I’m sure he complained that Kucinich was a bit too conservative for his tastes.

 

Hey, good ol’ Prez Rickard, the 18-year-old president from the old ’70s DC series. I’m betting Prez would write in whoever was running as the Green candidate. Crazy ’70s hippie weirdo presidents…

 

Yeah, the Savage Dragon was briefly the president. Who would he support in this election? Definitely the Greens. Get it? Get it? Oh, man, I’m hilarious.

 

No reason not to let the villains in on the act. In DC’s continuity, Lex Luthor actually got elected president of the U.S. back in 2000. He wasn’t considered too bad a president either, though he eventually got booted out of office after turning supervillain. As for who he’d vote for? I figure Lex would write himself in. Crazy megalomaniac ex-presidents…

 

I think I’m the only person in the world who liked the “Emperor Joker” storyline that ran in the Superman comics a few years ago. Sure, he’s not exactly presidential, but being an all-powerful emperor counts for something, I guess. I’m not sure the Joker would think any of the candidates were crazy enough for him. Maybe Alan Keyes. That dude’s craaaaaaazy. Maybe Huckabee, if he keeps talking up that garbage about making America a theocracy…

 

Whoa, looks like Superman’s endorsing Obama.

So who are your picks for the nation’s top job?

UPDATE: Can’t believe I forgot Howard the Duck!

I figure Howard would vote for Mallard Fillmore or Andrew Quackson…