Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers #3

All the Pet Avengers — Lockjaw, Throg, Lockheed, Redwing, Hairball, Zabu, and Ms. Lion — end up deep underwater in the middle of the ocean. They’re rescued by Namor’s honor guard of sea turtles, who create air bubbles to keep the animals alive. While Hairball spends his time freaking out because he’s surrounded by water, the turtles take them to a pair of the Infinity Gems. But they awaken a gigant mutant whale of some sort, which swallows all of them. Luckily, Ms. Lion finds the gems. With just one gem remaining, Lockjaw teleports the group to the final location — the White House. But all the teleporting has tired Lockjaw out, and he passes out on the White House lawn. Forced to drag the extremely large Lockjaw into the White House and then up the stairs, all without being seen by White House security, the Pet Avengers finally find the final gem — on Bo Obama‘s new collar! Too bad they don’t have time to grab him before Thanos does!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Pretty good dialogue and funny situations — while the group sneaking into the White House is fairly contrived, the idea of a sabre-toothed tiger, a dragon, a hawk, a glowing cat, a yappy dog, and Frog Thor dragging a giant bulldog up a staircase does make an enjoyably silly image. Even the twist on all the presidential guest-star roles is amusing.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #38

The Mandarin has a plot to lure a group of the Avengers in with a bunch of kidnapped children and then use a power-stealing robot to, well, steal their powers. He’s pretty successful, except that he’s forgotten one little Avenger…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of really cute things in this one, especially the Hulk in the petting zoo. The Mandarin is wonderfully charming and devious all at once, which is a vital quality in all the best villains.

Marvel’s having its 70th birthday, so it seems like all their comics are including references to their characters from World War II…

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #37

It’s 1954, and Miss America and Golden Girl have discovered that Captain America, the Sub-Mariner, the Human Torch, and Toro have all gone missing. When the Whizzer (Heh.) disappears before their eyes, they follow him through a time portal to find themselves in the modern day, where the villainous Puppet Master is controlling the Golden Age heroes with plans to send them back to the past to take over the world for him. Wolverine, Spider-Man, and the modern-day Captain America show up to help out, but they’ve got their hands full with just the Whizzer (Heh.) — how are they going to handle it when the Sub-Mariner, Human Torch, and Toro show up?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Dario Brizuela provides a different art style than we’ve usually seen on this comic, but it works out quite well. And Paul Tobin’s dialogue is plenty of fun, especially the way Wolverine keeps making fun of the Whizzer’s name.

Sub-Mariner Comics 70th Anniversary Special #1

We get three different stories about Marvel’s Golden Age bad boy. The first one, written by Roy Thomas his ownself and beautifully illustrated by Mitch Breitweiser, focuses on Namor being tempted to join up with the Germans. The second is a somewhat pulpy story about Namor fighting Nazis with the aid of a female American pilot and a giant squid. But the third is the real prize — Bill Everett’s very first “Sub-Mariner” story from 1939’s Marvel Comics #1, starring a particularly rotten version of Namor killing divers and wrecking a recovery ship.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Three excellent stories — ain’t nothing to complain about.

Miss America Comics 70th Anniversary Special #1

Well, while the character on the cover is blonde, the Miss America in the lead story is very definitely brunette. And she wears glasses. Even in her superhero costume. Definitely makes for a unique look. Most of the action involves Miss America undercover at an American shipyard snooping out some Nazi saboteurs. After that, there are two classic stories starring the Whizzer (Heh.) and a short feature called “Let’s Play Detective.”

Verdict: Thumbs down. I enjoyed the first story alright, but for a character as obscure as Miss America, we should’ve gotten a little background on her — something other than “She’s strong, she flies, she wears glasses, she’s engaged to the Whizzer.” But what killed the fun on this one was the backup stories — they just weren’t interesting or exciting.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #12

Captain America and Rick Jones are investigating Hydra and snooping around the Hydra homepage, which is full of happy families singing Hydra’s praises and an adorably mascot called Hydra Boy. Cap doesn’t really understand or trust this new-fangled “Internet” thingamabob — and with good reason, because Hydra is able to use webcams to recognize Cap and teleport him and Rick into the Internet itself! While Hydra Boy uses his abilities to alter the website’s environment to vex Cap, Rick sets out behind the scenes to phone for help and figure out how to alter the website himself. In the end, of course, Cap and Rick escape, riding a big search-engine locomotive.

There’s also a backup story, set stateside during WWII, in which Cap and Bucky fight this guy:

A prototype MODOK!

That’s really all I can say about it. Prototype MODOK! Whooo!

Verdict: Thumbs up. Hydra Boy was an amusingly nasty villain, and the story contained a wealth of great visual puns about the Internet. And again — Prototype MODOK!

Captain Britain and MI-13 Annual #1

One of the last issues of this comic we’ll see, as Marvel has already announced that they’ve cancelled it. Cancelling really outstanding comics seems to be the very favorite thing for comic publishers to do.

There are two stories here, the first focusing on Meggan, the mutant shapeshifter who used to be married to Captain Britain. Most of the story is a retrospective on her history, from her childhood, where she frequently got into trouble for accidentally using her shapeshifting powers to reflect back what people thought of her (at one point turning into a cartoonish stereotyped image of a Gypsy crone when someone accuses her family of being Roma) to her accidental imprisonment in Hell. However, she’s the only non-tormented soul in Hell, very optimistic and hopeful, which unnerves the rulers of Hell so much that they trick her into using her empathetic powers to let everyone in Hell shape her appearance. Once she’s been turned into a deformed monster, they exile her to a distant part of Hell, where she ends up leading a revolt, receives her first-ever superhero name, and meets up with Dr. Doom.

The second story puts the spotlight on Captain Britain as the rest of the MI-13 team spends an afternoon playing cricket. It’s a pretty amusing story — Blade can’t seem to pitch the ball correctly (Is “pitch” the right word? I know nothing about cricket.), Faiza Hussein is a cricket fanatic, and Spitfire uses very weird British slang.

Verdict: Thumbs up. More emphasis on Meggan than I would’ve expected, but it all seems to work out well. I really don’t understand anything about cricket, but I still thought the second story was funny. Sure, I didn’t understand very much of it because it was grounded so deeply in British culture, but I still enjoyed it.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #36

Tigra has accidentally released a genie, and while he’s willing to grant her some wishes, what he really wants to do is kill the Hulk. Apparently, in the future, the Hulk goes back in time to 500 years ago and gets the genie imprisoned in a necklace — so the genie’s mad at the Hulkster for something he hasn’t even done yet. Tigra could just use her wishes to wish the genie away, but she knows that magical wishes tend to get twisted into something really awful. But the problem with fighting a genie is that he can do anything, and the Avengers, for all their power, can’t do that. Is there any way for the team to survive?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yet another extremely fun issue, with Tigra accidentally making wishes, Wolverine scarfing down sausages, and Spider-Man making lots of great wisecracks. The solution to the problem ends up being perfect and fairly funny all on its own.

Wonder Woman #32

Most of this issue is a slugfest between Wonder Woman and Genocide, revealed as the future corpse of Wondy empowered with her own Lasso of Truth. Genocide makes her plans to kill pretty much everyone and forces Diana to tell Tom Tessier that she never really loved him. And beyond that — really, just a whole heck of a lot of people smashing each other in the face.

Verdict: Thumbs down. I don’t mind an all-smashing issue, but it’s gotta be really spectacular smashing, and this just ain’t it. And even worse, this storyarc still isn’t over! Haven’t we all had enough of storyarcs that take most of a year to complete?!

Lockjaw and the Pet Avengers #1

Ohh, I had to get this one.

We start out with Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four visiting the Inhumans to discuss finding the massively powerful Infinity Gems to make sure they’re never brought together. However, unbeknownst to anyone else, the Inhumans’ oversized teleporting dog Lockjaw has already found the Mind Gem. Unable to get the Inhumans or Mr. Fantastic to pay any attention to him, Lockjaw decides to use the gem’s telepathic powers to assemble a team of animal superheroes to locate the rest of the gems, recruiting a new version of Frog Thor, Kitty Pryde’s dragon Lockheed, the Falcon’s falcon Redwing, Speedball’s cat Hairball, and Aunt May’s dog Ms. Lion. Once the team’s assembled, they’re off to the Savage Land to see if they can find some Infinity Gems before the dinosaurs do…

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s very silly, and I’m in favor of a few silly comics from time to time. Frog Thor’s origin is a bit long, but I guess they figured they needed it to differentiate him from the real Thor that got turned into a frog (a story from Walt Simonson’s classic run on “Thor” that had the God of Thunder getting transformed by his evil brother Loki — read Khairul’s summary for all the details). The characterization is pretty good — Redwing is arrogant, Hairball is the team’s bad boy, Lockheed is still mourning Kitty Pryde, and almost everything Ms. Lion says is hilarious. Not much of a plot yet, but I trust that’ll develop some more now that all our characters have been introduced.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #11

Loki gets a frost giant and a fire demon to attack Thor and New York City. Thor manages to persuade the frost giant that Loki is using him for evil purposes, and they team up to defeat the demon.

Verdict: Ehh, thumbs down. The “Marvel Adventures” line is designed for all-ages readers, so I’m not expecting the most complicated storylines in the world, but this one was just a bit too lightweight for my tastes.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #10

Dr. Henry Pym loses out on a warehouse job he really needed — and so does Flint Marko, better known as the Sandman. When Marko robs the warehouse to get revenge, can Pym’s shrinking powers as Ant-Man and his hordes of ant buddies help him stop the Sandman before it’s too late?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Hank Pym makes a great hard-luck superhero here. The ants are funny, his relationship with Janet Van Dyne is amusing, and the job interview at the beginning of the story — where Pym and Marko get beat out for the warehouse job by a pencil-necked geek named Irving Forbush — is definitely a keeper.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #35

Storm, Giant-Girl, and Tigra are out-of-town for a few weeks, so the guys on the team are living it up and making colossal messes. And the biggest mess is made by Hawkeye, who signs up for a dating website and accidentally uploads the whole team’s info to the site as well. Soon enough, the Avengers are swamped by the city’s most eligible bachelorettes. Unable to get any crimefighting done, they go to the headquarters of the Lover’s Leap website and find that it’s being run by Batroc the Leaper. Batroc the Leaper?! Why is Batroc the Leaper running a dating website?! Who cares, it’s completely hilarious, so I completely approve. Anyway, Batroc persuades them to go on just a few dates before he’ll remove their info from the site. But of course, Batroc doesn’t play fair…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very funny stuff, and of course, Batroc is always good for some fun. But I think my favorite panel is this one:

Please note the “Snikts” at the bottom of the panel. Wolverine is not apparently a fan of yappy dogs.

Tiny Titans #14

It’s time for another meeting of the Tiny Titans Pet Club. Today, the meeting is being held at Paradise Island, where all the boys have to stand on tables so they don’t touch the ground. We get to meet Cassie’s pets, Matilda the Minotaur (who looks an awful lot like Elsie the Borden Cow), Yooni the Unicorn (who really is quite cute), and Cecelia the Cyclops (whose mother wants to eat everyone). We also get the enduring question of what the heck kind of critter Lagoon Boy is, as well as an episode with Cyborg’s new out-of-control vacuum cleaner. And we close things out with a shapechanging contest between Beast Boy and Miss Martian.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Just ridiculously cute. Yeah, it’s probably designed for the younger side of the All-Ages set, but I still think it’s good fun for grownups, too.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #34

It’s a time travel adventure, as Spider-Man, Hulk, Tigra, and Ant-Man get caught up in a rogue time vortex, along with Sgt. Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos. They play with some dinosaurs in the year 230,000,000 B.C., they eat pancakes with Abraham Lincoln, Tigra gets painted by Toulouse-Lautrec (“Hulk likes tiny man’s hat.”), and they head back to ancient Egypt, where they tangle with some Egyptians inexpertly wielding modern weapons. All that, plus Tigra gets mistaken for Bast, the Egyptian goddess of cats.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’ve been a bit burned out on time travel stories lately, thanks to the unending confusion in the “Booster Gold” series, but this one was pretty good. Excellent comedy, with some excellent blink-and-you’ll-miss-’em cameos, and some wildly goofball time travel fun. I wish they’d had something more for the Howling Commandos to do, though, as they mostly tended to stay in the background and react to stuff the Avengers were doing.

PS238 #38

The kids from PS238 are competing against the kids from the wildly evil Praetorian Academy in a soccer match. So the Wonderburg sports complex has installed forcefields to protect the crowd from high-velocity soccer balls and soundwave cancellation systems to cut down on the sonic booms. The Praetorians jump to an early lead, thanks to the former Captain Clarinet and to the Praetorians’ willingness to cheat. But Tyler Marlocke, the Flea, and Cecil Holmes have discovered an invisible ship observing the game, and they sneak aboard to investigate. But can they escape the clutches of the Headmaster and keep a dimensional rift from eating the soccer field?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Great work with the plot advancing along with the soccer game, which is a lot of fun all on its own. Bernard Brenner, PS238’s pint-sized Hulk analogue, has a lot of fun cheering on his team. And Cecil is, as always, great to read — he’s really developing into one of this series’ best characters. If you’re not reading this comic, you should start reading it as quickly as you can.

Marvel Adventures: Super Heroes #9

This issue focuses on the Sorcerer Supreme, Dr. Strange, along with his assistant, Jason Wong, and his teacher, the Ancient One. Strange and Wong are enjoying an afternoon at the Guggenheim Museum when they’re suddenly attacked by a spell-slinging squirrel. A squirrel? Turns out its actually Dormammu, Ruler of the Dark Dimension, temporarily forced to assume the form of a lowly rodent. When he finally claims his full power, he has some odd ways of going about conquering the world. He turns all the vehicles in the world into red convertibles, except for the ones parked close to a mailbox. And he eats a hot dog. What’s going on? Turns out the last time the Ancient One defeated Dormammu, he got him to sign a binding contract forcing him to follow all kinds of silly rules. Can Dr. Strange, Wong, the Ancient One, and Daredevil’s pal Foggy Nelson find the right loophole to banish Dormammu again?

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is pretty amazingly silly stuff. So of course, I approve wholeheartedly.

Tiny Titans #13

It’s time for another meeting of the Tiny Titans Pet Club! This time, everyone shows up at Robin’s house while Alfred goes off to run errands. Unfortunately, Aqualad brings his new pet, Inky the Octopus, who promptly squirts ink all over everyone. In an attempt to clean up before Alfred gets back, everyone gets the costumes into the Bat-Washing Machine, fills it full of a bit too much detergent, and floods the house with soap. Besides that, Hotspot gets to join the Bird Scouts, and Psimon attends a Science Club meeting.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of excellent stuff from Baltazar and Franco here. Inky the Octopus really is quite funny, as are the repeated “SOAP!” sound effects, Robin’s completely nonchalant penguins, the return of Beast Boy’s pet elephant, and the Kroc Files. This here is certainly my favorite panel:

No doubt about it, I loves me some superfluous Brainiacs.

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #33

Looks like New York City has a pest problem — in this case, an infestation of dinosaurs! The Avengers are barely holding their own, and Wolverine even gets eaten, briefly, by a T-Rex. And their resident dinosaur expert, Ka-Zar of the Savage Land, is trying to learn how to drive. Who’s behind the dino invasion? It’s Stegron the Dinosaur Man, and he has a way to create super-dinosaurs that’ll let him defeat the human race! While Wolverine uses a ketchup packet to track Stegron, Spider-Man tries in vain to teach Ka-Zar how to drive a car. But when it’s time for the big fight, when Ka-Zar is the only guy who can save the day, where has he disappeared to?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I was actually a little concerned about the language — because it ends up talking down to the reader. Sure, sure, this is an all-ages comic, but the best all-ages comics don’t treat their readers like babies. But other than that, there’s a lot of the stuff that makes these comics so much fun, from the crazy dinosaurs to the bizarre subplot about teaching the Jungle Lord how to drive, to the little background details. Definitely worth picking up.

Well, after this weekend’s angst over the economy, you’d think I’d be completely uninterested in dealing with finances, but no! As it turns out, I decided to go ahead and get my taxes done. Wasn’t too bad — as always the biggest pain was spending half-an-hour entering in all the info. Still, I’ll be getting refund — enough to pay another month’s rent — so it was all worth it.

And speaking of taxes…

Marvel Adventures: The Avengers #32

Wait, what’s superheroics got to do with taxes? Well, the Avengers owe them — in fact, they owe a lot of back taxes and penalties. Isn’t there some accomodation that can be made between the Avengers and the IRS? Well, sure — all they have to do is track down a bunch of supervillains, like Whirlwind, Man-Bull, the Absorbing Man, Bullseye, and Oog, and get them to pay their taxes.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Funny stuff. The Hulk keeps getting lost, Man-Bull can’t figure out the tax code, Oog, a giant hairy monster, strolls around New York City in a beret, and Luke Cage can’t get his momma to leave him alone.

Adventure Comics #0

Basically, this is a reprint from Adventure Comics #247 in 1958, with the first appearance of the Legion of Super-Heroes, along with a short story about Lex Luthor trying to escape from prison with a reprogrammed Brainiac.

Verdict: Thumbs up. For one thing, it’s just a dollar. Just a dollar! Second, it won’t do you no harm to read the first appearance of the Legion, even if it is an extraordinarily silly Silver Age story. Finally, the backup story, though ultimately completely forgettable, does reveal something very interesting and ominous about the Guardians of the Universe and the soon-to-appear Black Lanterns.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #1

This is a comic series based on the new “Brave and the Bold” cartoon on Cartoon Network, with Batman teaming up with other characters from around the DC Universe. This issue starts out with Bats helping Aquaman take out Carapax, followed by Batman traveling to London, where he and Power Girl fight a giant monster created by Lex Luthor.

Verdict: I’m going to give this a thumbs up, because the story was fine and it kept me entertained, but I probably won’t be picking up future issues of this title. I can’t say it really appeals to me very strongly. Still, I do love the characterization of Aquaman as a very jolly but somewhat dim egomaniac.