Popeye #3

So there’s this guy called George W. Geezil — not a guy from the Popeye cartoons, but an old character from the “Thimble Theater” strips — and he’s had a mad-on about Wimpy for as long as anyone can remember. Wimpy always mooches his hamburgers and just generally irritates the tar out of him. “You are flies in mine zupe!” he’s always yelling. And Geezil hatches on a scheme to get rid of Wimpy once and for all — he’s got himself a masked monster of a prizefighter called the Phantom Crusher, and he wants to put on a big boxing match between Wimpy and the Phantom Crusher! Popeye doesn’t like an unfair fight, so he decides he’ll act as Wimpy’s trainer in the weeks before the fight. Can he get Wimpy to eat his spinach and exercise? Not if we know Wimpy. So does Wimpy stand any chance against the Crusher? Not if we know Wimpy. But what happens when Popeye discovers that the Crusher and Geezil are resorting to cheating?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Vastly silly fun from beginning to end. Excellent action, even if it is fairly silly action. Great dialogue, even if it’s pretty silly dialogue. This is something to get if you enjoy a nice dose of silliness in your comics. And if you’re dork enough not to enjoy silly comics, more pity on you.

Worlds’ Finest #3

Huntress and Power Girl are still fighting the highly radioactive Hakkou in Tokyo, and he’s definitely got them on the ropes, until Huntress manages to douse him in radioactive coolant, causing him to flee before he absorbs too much radioactivity. From here, we get a flashback to the heroes’ earlier days on our Earth, as they try to research their alternate-universe counterparts and as Kara makes her plans to discover more about Michael Holt’s dimensional research. Back in the present day, Power Girl saves a jet from crashing, then the heroes discover that Hakkou has absorbed so much radiation, he’s turned into a giant monster! Can they stop him before he destroys Tokyo?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good story, good action — I gotta admit, I’m getting a lot more enjoyment out of the middle section, drawn by Kevin Maguire, about Helena and Kara’s more civilian-level adventures exploring the new world they’ve found themselves in. Not that George Perez’s work is anything to sneeze at — but he does get stuck drawing that awful Power Girl costume…

The Amazing Spider-Man #689

The Lizard has been turned back into Curt Connors — but inside, he’s still the Lizard, enraged at being transformed into a weak, amputated human, furiously trying to figure out a way to get himself changed back and then kill everyone he can. His devious mind realizes he can use Michael Morbius’ weaknesses against them all — he knows the Living Vampire hasn’t drunk any blood in a while, so he keeps mentioning blood to make him think about how hungry he is, and once Connors is left alone in Morbius’ lab, he pumps a bunch of blood into the air vents. Morbius snaps and puts the bite on one of the scientists at Horizon Labs. While Spidey pursues Morbius across the city, Connors lures Max Modell into his lab for some unorthodox experiments.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good action and dialogue. Some good twists and turns in the story, too. You can tell Dan Slott is having a lot of fun writing Spidey — let’s hope Marvel doesn’t take him off the comic when they do their soft reboot this fall…

The Amazing Spider-Man #688

Morbius the Living Vampire thinks he’s finally figured out a way to change the Lizard back into Dr. Curt Connors permanently — Spider-Man has his doubts, because after his last transformation, the Lizard had declared that he’d finally killed Connors’ personality, and capped off that claim by murdering his own son, Billy. And Spidey isn’t real happy with Morbius anyway, because he discovered that the vampire discovered his potential cure by digging up and experimenting on Billy Connors’ corpse. But the Wall-Crawler is also upset with himself for letting Silver Sable die last issue, and the Lizard has killed too many people while hiding out in New York’s sewers. Can Spider-Man and Morbius really cure the Lizard once and for all?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Excellent action, plenty of Spider-Angst — it’s been a while since Peter Parker was as unhappy as he’s traditionally been — and a nice little twist to wrap things up.

Fatale #6

In the present day, Nicolas Lash wonders what happened to the beautiful Jo, he meets up with a private eye who tells him there’s a safe deposit box with his name on it. If Lash claims it, the private eye wants a ten percent finders fee. But when they check out the box, it’s empty — and the bank manager remembers the private eye being here before with Jo. And then the supernatural hitman comes after Lash. And people, that’s just the prologue!

In the main story, our timeline is focused on Los Angeles in 1978, where our protagonist is Miles, a B-movie actor hoping to score some coke and an invite to a hot party that may get him some better roles. He goes looking for one of his dealers, a girl named Suzy Scream, at a sleazy party sponsored by a sleazy debauchery cult. And when he finds Suzy, she’s just killed the cult leader because he’d been trying to stab her to death — and there’s some oddly horrific home movie playing in the basement, too. Miles sneaks Suzy out of the party and crosses paths with Josephine, now living as a recluse to avoid accidentally ensnaring the innocent with her supernatural powers. But what is Josephine going to say when she sees the movie Miles smuggled out of the party?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Outstandingly creepy, especially the sequence from the ’70s. I mean, everything from the ’70s. I think sometimes we forget what a very unusual decade the 1970s were — cults were out and proud, sex was kinky, drugs were everywhere, sideburns were long, fashion was awful, film was brilliant, and Marvel Comics had multiple comics for sale that had the awesomeness of Satanism as a selling point. The violence and supernatural elements added on here merely increase the creepiness of the setting by a few degrees…

Today’s Cool Links:

• A friend of mine wrote this, and he’s a really great guy. And I think it’s worth asking ourselves: Why do our soldiers need to rely on a guy working on his off-time to get them the counseling help many of them need?
• Short video on what probably happened when DC told Alan Moore about “Before Watchmen.”
• Sometimes, you have to feed the trolls. Sometimes, you have to feed them the barrel of a gun.

Holy John Philip Sousa, Batman! It’s Independence Day! That means it’s time to post a whole bunch of patriotic comic book covers!

(Please remember to use your fireworks safely and responsibly.)

American Vampire #28

Vampires have attacked and gravely injured Henry Preston, and his wife, the American vampire Pearl Preston, wants two things — revenge and to make sure Henry is cured. Calvin Poole, another American vampire, comes to Hollywood to help his friends, and the two of them fight off an attack from rival European vamps who want to finish all three of them off. Cal convinces her to go to the local office of the Vassals of the Morning Star for help, and Agent Bixby tells them that there’s a secret coven of vampires in L.A., hiding out in the homes of Hollywood’s elite. Pearl agrees to help hunt them down, but she’ll have an unexpected partner — Agent Skinner Sweet.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Action, great dialogue, Rafael Albuquerque’s art, and the return of Skinner Sweet? Come on, folks, if you’re not reading this yet, the first issue of a new storyarc is a great jumping-on point…

B.P.R.D.: Hell on Earth – Exorcism #1

BPRD Agent Ashley Strode is on hand for an exorcism of a child in Indiana when everyone is surprised by the possessing demon speaking directly to her and telling her it will never let the child go free unless she sees to it that another demon trapped on Earth goes free. Additionally, if the demon is freed, the monsters and other horrors plaguing the world will be eliminated. The attending priest is furious at her for talking to the demon, but the Bureau thinks it might be worth it to send Agent Strode to Mexico to meet with Father Ota Benga, a priest that the demon had mentioned as “the keeper of the cage.” What Ashley finds is a 154-year-old African priest whose faith and willpower was so strong he willingly accepted possession by a demon over 100 years ago to save an innocent victim. Ota Benga himself is the demon’s prison, and that’s what’s allowed him to live so long. Can the demon be destroyed before Benga dies?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Excellent story — scary and dramatic and funny. And combined with Cameron Stewart’s wonderful artwork, this is definitely something worth reading.

All Star Western #10

Tallulah Black is back in Jonah Hex’s life, thanks to getting pitched out of the Wayne Casino by a crook’s bodyguard. While she terrorizes Amadeus Arkham, Hex hunts down Alan Wayne to see if he knows anything about the man Tallulah accused of being responsible for her injuries. And the Court of Owls send an assassin after a maniac in Arkham’s asylum. All that plus a backup feature starring the Western dandy Bat Lash!

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is one of my favorite issues of this comic, partly because I think Tallulah Black is a wonderful character, and I love the way Gray and Palmiotti handle the way she inspires both desire and revulsion in Arkham. Plus there’s the Bat Lash backup — Lash is one of my favorite of DC’s old Western heroes, and he’s rarely been handled as perfectly as Gray and Palmiotti write him here. And it doesn’t hurt that the art chores for the backup are handled by the great José Luis García-López. And let’s not forget Moritat’s outstanding artwork in this issue, either — he handles Tallulah’s scarred beauty perfectly. All in all, just a plain wonderful comic, and I hope Gray, Palmiotti, Moritat and García-López can keep this level of awesomeness going for a while.

Justice League Dark #10

John Constantine leads Zatanna, Deadman, Doctor Mist, Andrew Bennett, and Black Orchid to the mystical House of Mystery — now that they have a map to the Books of Magic, he wants Constantine wants all of them off the grid while they decide what to do with it. The Books of Magic are terrifically powerful, and he doesn’t like the idea of turning them over to the government, or anyone else, really. Unfortunately, Constantine can’t resist the temptation to check out the map when no one’s watching him, and that unleashes the new rebooted versions of the Demons Three, who manage to steal the map and escape. Meanwhile, Madame Xanadu has a vision of what will happen if Constantine gets his hands on the Books of Magic — and it involves everyone on Earth dying…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Good story, nice art, nothing really earthshattering, but it’s a good read.

Awright, kids, it’s Friday night, we got a pitifully short weekend ahead, maybe a single day off in the middle of next week, and then another pitifully short weekend after that. But let’s make the best of it while we can. It’s time for… FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from May 1983’s Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew #15 by Scott Shaw!, E. Nelson Bridwell, and Carol Lay as our spell-slinging hero Alley-Kat-Abra faces off against the evil sorcerer Feline Faust!

(Not the best image quality — sorry, folks, it’s hard to get a very clear scan on stuff that’s unfortunately not been kept in the best of shape since I bought ’em in junior high. All the more reason for DC to hurry up and get us a Showcase Presents phonebook for the Zoo Crew comics, right?)

Anyway, there we go, people. Get out there and enjoy your weekend. Stay cool, drink plenty of liquids (It’s hot out there, dangit), and I’ll see y’all back here in a few days.

Holy zambonis, two Atomic Robo comics released on the same day?! We all must have been very, very good boys and girls this year!

Atomic Robo and the Flying She-Devils of the Pacific #1

Robo is out over the South Pacific in 1951 testing an experimental aircraft when he gets attacked by a bunch of sky pirates flying foo fighters — and then he gets defended by a squad of pilots wearing jet-packs! And once Robo gets his plane safely crash-landed on a beach, and the foo fighters are run off, he discovers that the jet-pack pilots are all girls! Yeah, holy cow, ya mouthless atomic-powered robot, way to get all judgmental about gender, dork. Anyway, they give Robo a ride on their frankly astounding flying machine and meets Hazel, Lauren, the technical genius, Valerya, the pilot, Captain May Carter, and the other members of the She-Devils, a bunch of renegades who are operating as sky pirates against all the other sky pirates in the region. But the She-Devils have plenty of enemies, and Robo’s arrival may give them the opportunity to destroy them…

Verdict: Thumbs up, of course, because Atomic Robo is awesome. I’m loving the characters we’re meeting, too. Even the ones we meet for just a few panels are interesting folks. I do think this one is going to be fun — be sure you pick it up!

Atomic Robo Presents: Real Science Adventures #3

Lots of great stuff here — the ongoing adventures of the Sparrow during World War II, Robo being trained in martial arts by Bruce Lee, and Robo forced into a surreal mental battle against a computer virus. But the best one here is “Tesla’s Electric Sky Schooner,” set in 1895, and starring, on the first page, Nikola Tesla, George Westinghouse, and Charles Fort preparing to lay siege to the terrible War Zeppelin Nemesis — but there are plenty of awesome members of their strikeforce in reserve…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yeah, I love the stories, but wow, the art is just phenomenal. Ryan Cody, Gurihiru, John Broglia, and Christian Ward just hammer the ball outta the park. Again, far and away, my favorite story here is “Tesla’s Electric Sky Schooner” — I would love to see Brian Clevinger and Gurihiru do an ongoing series about this one. Also, how much do I love that cover with Robo as the Shadow? I love it a lot.

Superman Family Adventures #2

Bizarro makes his way to Earth, causing a huge panic in Metropolis. Supergirl and Superboy hear the racket all the way in the Fortress of Solitude (where they’re hanging out with — huzzah! — the Tiny Titans!), so Supergirl and Streaky head out to see what’s up. She has her hands full keeping him from tearing the city apart, and even Superman has trouble with him. But Supergirl eventually gets the situation handled… with ice cream! With Bizarro calmed down, they bring him to the Fortress, but it’s not long before he’s causing more havoc, by releasing all the Kryptonian animals and scattering Kryptonite everywhere! How are Supergirl and Superboy going to clean up this mess?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Cute artwork, funny storytelling, good all-ages fun.

Today’s Cool Links:

• I got a friend who could use some help. Can you help give her a hand up, please?
• A distant ancestor of both humans and sharks? I favor this very strongly.
• She’s the tops in the business in both exploring… and ACTION.

I shouldn’t EVEN be talking about this, but it’s been bugging me for days. In the past few days, I’ve been hearing a lot of monumentally stupid stuff, so we’re gonna drag it all out and kick the tar out of it. COME ON, KIDS, IT’LL BE FUN.

From the rightward side of the political aisle, we get people talking about wanting to move to Texas and secede from the union, exemplified by this idiot who makes his living being a moron on the radio:

I would SERIOUSLY consider moving to Texas if it would secede from the union and re-form as The Republic of Texas. It has that power.

There are SO MANY THINGS wrong with that.

First, no, Texas is not able to secede from the union and turn itself into the Republic of Texas. In theory, the state could split itself into five new states (not four, not three, not two, not six, but five exactly), but that’s really never going to happen, because it would be stupid. There’s also nothing in the state constitution or in any laws anywhere that say that Texas can secede from the union. We tried that once, and you might remember how that got resolved. Your side got its ass kicked.

And if I may say, I got no patience whatsoever for scumbags who talk about seceding from the U.S. ‘Round here, that’s what I call treason. I don’t like it when my stupid governor talks about it. I don’t like it when my stupid legislators talk about it. I don’t like it when stupid people on the Internet talk about it. If folks ever wise up and elect me governor or even president, I guarantee there’s gonna be some whupass unleashed on folks who talk smack like that.

And it’s stupid anyway. You love America so much you want to leave it? You’re stupid, and your face is stupid. George Washington, Abe Lincoln, and Ben Franklin are gonna rise from their graves to kick your stupid face in.

So again, angry Republicans who are mad at the world and like to run your mouths without thinking: leave me and my state out of your stupid fantasies.

But wait, I’m not done!

From the leftward side of the political aisle, we get people (no major pundits or politicos, thank goodness, just idjits prattling on blogs and discussion boards) talking about they’re mad at the wingnuts and want all of them to move to Texas and secede.

There are SO MANY THINGS wrong with that.

I mean, come on, lefties, you spend the last few decades talking about improving the world for minorities, for women, for gays, for everyone, and you want to throw out a whole state full of people? Including vast numbers of minorities, women, gays, and just plain American citizens? And you want to give them over to the crazies and wingnuts and moral monsters who live in the fringe right, build a wall on the Oklahoma border, and just shrug it off when the nuts roll things back to the 1600s and start burning people at the stake?

Fer cry-eye, lefties, you want to just hand over the gravesites of LBJ, Molly Ivins, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Selena, Buddy Holly, and SERIOUSLY, do you have any idea how many of your late idols may have plots here? Are you really going to let the New Confederate Neo-Nazi Douchebag Brigade start taking care of those gravesites?!

Really, Texas barely counts as a red state nowadays. The last few elections, we’ve come down in purple territory. You’re talking about disenfranchising people when they’re starting to trend in your direction!

Ultimately, it’s really about as treasonous as the wingnuts who talk secession. Because you’re still talking about throwing perfectly good American citizens out of the country because you don’t like how your opposing party acts. And it’ll never happen because no one’s ever going to let any state secede again, no matter how much you don’t like its citizens. Even talking about it is stupid, and your face is stupid.

So again, angry lefties who are mad at the Texas GOP and like to run your mouths without thinking: leave me and my state out of your stupid fantasies.

In summation: Stupid people on the right and the left: shut up, stop being stupid, leave me and my state out of your stupid fantasies.

And read more Atomic Robo and Yotsuba comics.

The Hypernaturals #1

Think of this new series as an alternate world Legion of Super-Heroes. And it’s written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, the creators of one of the most beloved (by fans, not so much by DC) versions of the Legion ever.

Our setting is the distant future, a hundred years after the Quantinuum AI “achieved Singularity and refashioned human galactic culture.” Superhumans are moderately common, and the best of the best are selected to serve five-year terms as members of the Hypernaturals, the galaxy’s greatest superteam. We get introduced to them through a Hypernaturals team from seven years ago, including Clone 45, Bewilder, Thinkwell, Kobalt Blue, and Shard as they battle a super-genius called Sublime, who has obtained a weapon that he hopes to use to kill off the Quantinuum AI that has become a near-god.

But before we can even see how that turned out, we jump forward to the present-day. Clone 45 is a down-and-out schlub, Bewilder is the media relations contact for the current Hypernaturals team, Thinkwell is retired — and the new Hypernaturals team have all been killed in their first mission — along with everyone else on the planet 28 Kosov. Bewilder and Thinkwell are chosen to investigate the disaster, along with Shoal, a newbie with the power to control strangelets, and DeeDee, who came in second place in the competition to be in the last Hypernaturals team and wear the high-tech Halfshell powered armor. Will the team discover what happened on 28 Kosov? Or are they as doomed as the last team of heroes?

Verdict: Thumbs up. An excellent debut issue, with lots of very interesting characters, a semi-familiar setting, great dialogue and action. So far, characters are where this first issue really shines — I want to find out a lot more about all these people, and I hope this series continues for a while.

Batman Inc. #2

This issue focuses almost entirely on Talia al Ghul, daughter of Ra’s al Ghul, mother of Damian Wayne. We watch her childhood being trained as an assassin and mostly being ignored by her father. He’ll buy her anything she wants, but she doesn’t know her mother and her father doesn’t really value her as much as he’d value a male heir.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I was actually a bit nervous about this one — that Talia would be portrayed solely as a seductress. As it is, we get a much more femme fatale view of her — at least as competent as her father or Batman, and possibly more dangerous. Yes, she’s seductive, but she’s also smart, a devastating fighter and assassin, and as ruthless a leader as her father is. It’s also clever the way we get some flashbacks into Batman’s most famous battles against Ra’s. All in all, I was fairly happy with it.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Turns out the DC Reboot was a disaster from the start, with no planning, no foresight, and ultimately no future. Here’s to the day DiDio, Johns, and Lee get their walking papers.
• A bunch of Stephanie Brown fans have started a campaign to get the former (and best) Batgirl back in comics.
• If you like the “Meet the Team” videos for the Team Fortress 2 computer game (and you should like ’em, ’cause they’re very funny), the final one — “Meet the Pyro” — has been released.

Cow Boy: A Boy and His Horse

Here’s a nice little graphic novel that was previewed in Archaia’s awesome mini-hardcover Free Comic Book Day collection a few weeks back. I wasn’t sure that it’d ever make its way down to Denton, but I was able to grab hold of it last weekend, so let’s give it a whirl.

It’s an all-ages Western, written by Nate Cosby and illustrated by Chris Eliopoulos, with a few short mini-features by Roger Langridge, Brian Clevinger, Scott Wegener, Mike Maihack, and Colleen Coover.

It’s the story of a ten-year-old boy named Boyd Linney, who’s out roaming the Wild West all by himself. Boyd is a bounty hunter, dedicated to capturing his own family, all notorious outlaws and scallywags, and bringing them to justice. His only allies are a horse and his Horse — a hobby horse that he’s converted into a shotgun.

So we get to watch Boyd go after his own criminal kin, including his sad-sack father, his low-down brother, and more besides. We get a look at his awful childhood, as his rotten relations made his sleep in the pig pen. We get to watch him accidentally make a man’s life worse by defending him from bullies. We get to watch him foil crooked lawmen, and we get to see him have a few fleeting moments of happiness before he’s left on his own again.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Let’s talk about the art. Hopefully, y’all are familiar with Chris Eliopoulos by now — he’s got a simple, straightforward, cartoony style, which I’ve told y’all before is the best way to make a comic that’s both fun and emotional. There is nothing more hilarious than watching Boyd gruffly grumble his way through some outlandish feat of derring-do. There’s also nothing more heart-wrenching than watching him — or anyone else — choke back tears.

And there are tears a-plenty. This is an all-ages comic, but I think there’s a chance some kids may not be able to handle the emotional content, especially if they have abandonment issues or if they’re a bit clingy. On the other hand, other kids are going to be completely gleeful about the fantasy of a little kid roaming the Wild West and blowing up saloons. Buyer beware, parents — know your kids, read the book, decide if your young-uns will be okay with it.

For all the emotional heart-tugging, this is also a very funny comic, with buckets of humor both whimsical and more down-to-earth. There is also a wagon-load of action and thrills. And it’s a beautifully made book, a hardcover that’s just a joy to hold in your hands. Cosby, Eliopoulos, and Archaia have done an outstanding job with this one.

You may want to get it for your kids. You may want to get it just for you. But I do think you should go pick it up.