The Goon #37

What we have here is not the typical funny, gross “Goon” story. This one is pretty dead serious.

Creator Eric Powell is a well-known liberal, but he’s also a big fan of unions. He takes a huge chunk of this story from the Triangle Shirtwaist fire of 1911, where 146 people died in a fire that was made worse by nearly no safety regulations or systems. No one was ever punished for the disaster, but it helped lead to much stronger regulations protecting workers — something which Powell has surely noticed are in danger of being rolled back in the interest of enriching the “job creators” who never seem to create any jobs.

In this particular story, the sweatshop is called the Pentagram Girdle Factory, and it has tons of similarities to the historical sweatshop — nearly no safety precautions, fire marshals persuaded to look the other way, owners who turn a tidy profit off of the disaster thanks to insurance payouts, locked exits, trapped workers flinging themselves from the upper stories of the building, horrified onlookers powerless to help. After the surviving workers organize to demand better working conditions, the factory owner sends strikebreakers to beat down the protestors. But after the union goes to the Goon for help, the tide turns. The owner turns to the Zombie Master to use black magic to help him, but the Goon still beats down the bad guys. But is there any way to really hold the real villains responsible? Only in the comics, unfortunately…

Verdict: Thumbs up. An awesome change-of-pace — both educational and topical — with the great art and writing we’ve come to expect from Powell. I didn’t even realize this issue was coming out this week, but it’s definitely a great issue, though — if you haven’t gotten it, go pick it up.

The Defenders #2

Dr. Strange, Namor, the Silver Surfer, Iron Fist, and the Red She-Hulk are on the trail of Nul the World-Breaker, which recently possessed the Hulk and turned him into a tool of the Asgardian god of fear. They’ve tracked it to Wundagore Mountain, but find themselves under attack by the forces of Prester John. Iron Fist heals himself from a bullet wound to the chest, but the team soon finds itself outmatched by Prester John’s bizarre hyper-technology. Red She-Hulk eventually frees the heroes by getting Dr. Strange to scare her into turning back into Betty Ross, but is there any way to keep Nul away — and once he makes it the Prester John’s time machine, will anything be able to stop the destruction of the universe?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of action and lots of great dialogue and personality work. Lots of team comics can only handle characterization for one or two characters per issue, so the fact that this one can handle it for everyone is definitely a good thing. The only sore spot for me is that I still didn’t really understand what Prester John’s scheme involved…

Justice League International #5

The giant Signal Men robots are slowly destroying the Earth while Peraxxus harvests the planet’s minerals while his ship shoots down anything trying to reach him to stop him. So the JLI has to make it from inside the planet’s crust into orbit, all without snarking each other to death. Godiva worries about her ability to work on a cosmic level when her only power is prehensile hair, Guy Gardner complains about everyone. August General in Iron and Rocket Red start to respect each other, and Vixen tells Batman to quit being such an ass. Can the team stop Peraxxus? And even if they can, will they be able to survive the trip back down to Earth?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Better than I was expecting. I do think the dialogue is often very, very awkward, but I’m glad to see some personality development going on. I’m also fairly well impressed with the artwork and designs. None of the female characters has a silly costume, and when was the last time you could say that about a DC team comic? I’m also pretty happy with Aaron Lopresti’s work on the characters’ body language.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Squirrel Girl is the greatest character in comics history, and 2011 was a very good year for her.
• Yes, what this world really needed was a video of John Carpenter’s “The Thing” re-enacted by stop-motion clay penguins.
• Holy cow, kids really love stickers.

Well, I never read any of “Flashpoint,” so you won’t get a review of that here. And I’m not a big fan of Geoff Johns anymore — I don’t like Brian Michael Bendis at Marvel, so why should I want his new clone working at DC? — so I didn’t pick up the new “Justice League” either. But don’t worry — there were plenty of other comics released this week…

The Goon #35

A new issue of “The Goon!” And it’s written by Evan Dorkin! The Goon and Franky stumble onto a creepy circus called Brigadoon’s Dreamland Carnival — and the entire thing is run by sideshow freaks! The freaks accept both Franky and the Goon — because heck, why wouldn’t they? But while looking around the carnival, our heroes discover that the entire thing is geared around torturing and murdering innocent normals. That’s too rotten for even Franky to stomach, but can even the Goon survive the Midgets of All Nations, the Ossified Man, or the monstrous Ten-in-One?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Very good, very funny, and fantastic action. Evan Dorkin and Eric Powell should team up much more often, ’cause this was the most fun I’ve had reading a comic in ages.

Secret Avengers #16

So they said, “Hey, Scott, Warren Ellis is gonna be writing the ‘Secret Avengers’ comic.” And I said, “Yeah, sign me up for that.”

Our team includes Steve Rogers, Hank McCoy, the Black Widow, and Moon Knight. They’ve been sent on a mission deep underground, in one of the secret cities of the late and unlamented Secret Empire, because they’ve detected Von Doom Radiation — one of the radioactive emissions of time travel. They soon learn that a group called the Shadow Council has taken over the city and built a time machine large and powerful enough to annihilate the city above it — and any other city on the planet. Can four people stop an army and eliminate this threat to the planet?

Verdict: Ehh, kinda on the fence about this one. The action is good, the scale of the threat is impressive, and the dialogue seemed fine. But I just didn’t find myself as charged up about it as I expected. Maybe I got my hopes up too high?

Rocketeer Adventures #4

The anthology tribute to Dave Stevens‘ grand retro-pulp action hero wraps up with a trio of tales. First, Dave Gibbons and Scott Hampton take us beachside as the Rocketeer tries to save a champion surfer’s rare heirloom surfboard. Next, Joe Pruett and Tony Harris bring us a story of Cliff Secord’s trip under the sea as he takes on a Japanese submarine. And finally, John Arcudi and Brendan McCarthy introduce us to the Aeronaut, a Nazi rocketeer with a superior version of Cliff’s suit.

Verdict: Thumbs up. All the stories were a bucket of fun, with wonderful art and tons of outstanding pulp-hero action. My lone complaint about this issue — as it’s been with every issue of this series — is that we don’t get any of Dave Stevens’ classic stories to enjoy.

The Amazing Spider-Man #668

With tons of New Yorkers discovering their own spider-powers, Spider-Man is at a distinct disadvantage — his fellow superheroes can’t tell the difference between his imitators and the real deal! So the Wall-Crawler gets benched, but he still figures out a way to help — pretending to be just an ordinary New Yorker who’s discovered new spider-powers, he makes a video calling for other empowered New Yorkers to come help fight the bad guys. And of course they do — in droves. Swarms, even. Mayor J. Jonah Jameson deputizes everyone, and Peter Parker and his girlfriend Carlie Cooper get put in charge of weaponizing Spidey’s old high-tech costumes and later realize that the Jackal is probably behind all of this. How much trouble are they going to get into inside one of Miles Warren’s old hideouts? Probably a lot…

Verdict: Thumbs up. The story behind this seems to be developing pretty well. We get some great action, fun dialogue, and a lot of crazy superheroics. This one has been a lot more fun than I was expecting.

I gotta say — last week was one of the best single weeks for comics I’ve enjoyed in quite a while. I felt like every comic I picked up was grand fun and worth reading and re-reading.

This week was the exact opposite. Lots of stuff seemed competently written — but nearly all of it just simply bored me. There were some bright spots here and there — I’ll review them next week — but on the whole, just depressingly boring stuff.

So let’s get after it.

Power Girl #26

Dark Confession: Even though I still hate Judd Winick, I finally went and read the trade paperback of the “Power Girl” comics he worked on. Hey, I was depressed that there’d be no Power Girl in the DC Reboot, so I decided I’d give it a shot. And it was pretty good, so I figured I’d give the last couple issues a shot.

In this issue, PeeGee attends the first ever Power Girl fan convention, filled with tons of girls cosplaying as her. She looks on it as an opportunity to encourage young women to have positive self-images, to confront low-level evil where they can, and to uphold general feminist principles. The whole convention gets highjacked into outer space by a space alien disguised as a convention-goer — her planet is under siege by invaders, and she wants to duplicate Power Girl’s powers for herself. Of course, there’s a chance that the other fans can help Power Girl stop the villain.

Verdict: Thumbs down. It was entirely competent work, but — dangit, it was just boring.

Rocketeer Adventures #3

More pulp-action tales starring the Rocketeer and his girlfriend Betty, with stories by Ryan Sook, Jonathan Ross, and Tommy Lee Edwards, pinups by Stephanie Buscema and Joe Chiodo, and a prose story by Joe R. Lansdale, illustrated by Bruce Timm.

Verdict: Some outstanding art here, but ultimately thumbs down. It was boring.

Tiny Titans #42

Bizarro Supergirl makes her first appearance. She gets romanced by Match, while Beast Boy dodges rocks thrown by Terra all issue. We also get a brief glimpse of the Bizarro Tiny Titans.

Verdict: Thumbs down. What, even my beloved Tiny Titans? Yes, thumbs down. It was boring.

Criminal Macabre/The Goon: When Freaks Collide

Well, “Criminal Macabre” is about a guy named Cal McDonald who hangs out with a ghoul named Mo’Lock, and they hunt monsters. Both of them get kidnapped to some kind of otherworld at the same time as the Goon and Franky, famed for their drinking and face-punching, get kidnapped to the same place. While the Goon and Cal beat up on each other, Franky and Mo’Lock go exploring. Will beating up hordes of monsters give all our heroes their chance to go home?

Verdict: Thumbs down. There was a nice “Little Rascals” gag and a nice final-page reveal — but on the whole, it was boring.

Batman: Gates of Gotham #3

Well, there’s a lot of historical stuff about Gotham, and some guy trying to blow up the city because his ancestors got a rough deal, and the various members of the Bat-family squabbling and working together, and I’m not sure there’s much else I can say about it.

Verdict: Thumbs down. I mean, it’s all perfectly well done, and just about any other time, I’d probably be enjoying this. But I just plain thought it was boring.

Avengers Academy #16

I missed an issue of this one somewhere down the line. The Academy members have been dragged into the Fear Itself crossover. The Absorbing Man and Titania have acquired magical hammers that give them godlike powers and mostly over-write their personalities with the minds of ancient gods. But the Absorbing Man has somehow shaken that off, and he’s giving some serious whupass to Hank Pym. Elsewhere, Veil is trying to save a little girl’s mother, but how will she react when victory is stolen from her at the last moment?

Verdict: Thumbs down. It was boring.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Hey, what do you know? Turns out God really is speaking to Rick Perry!
• This is probably the Least Metal Thing Ever.
• Sounds like it was probably a good thing the Wonder Woman TV pilot didn’t get picked up.

The Goon #34

After much, much too long, Eric Powell brings the Goon back for some more fun. And who’s his opponent this issue? Vampires. And what kind of vampires?

Sparkly vampires. With jazz hands and everything.

Luckily, that particular challenge doesn’t take too long, and then it’s on to the real story — there’s a new kid at the amazingly awful orphanage, and it turns out she’s actually a horrible, horrible monster. The orphans are plenty tough, but not quite tough enough to deal with a shapeshifting horror all by themselves. So they head down to Norton’s pub to enlist the Goon’s aid. But he’s too busy watching football, so the kids get him good and drunk, then drag him back to the orphanage. But can even the Goon stop a monster when he’s had that much to drink. Wait, that’s a silly question, isn’t it?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Thank you, Eric Powell, for making this world a little more awesome every time you publish a comic book.

Detective Comics #878

Batman has been captured by Tiger Shark, a pirate based in an underwater hideout with a collection of starved killer whales that he sics on his enemies. Can Dick Grayson evade a bunch of crazed orcas, trained mercenaries, and an undersea detonation to discover who’s the mastermind behind the entire scheme? All that, plus it turns out Commissioner Gordon’s son James isn’t crazy after all. That’s great news, isn’t it? Isn’t it?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Hey, most of it was just alright, but that last page is disturbing and freaky enough to push it higher than I was expecting.

Xombi #4

David Kim is a xombi, blessed by a combination of magic and high technology to live forever. He and the other members of Dakota’s magical/religious crimefighting community (Rabbi Sinnowitz, Nun of the Above, Nun the Less, and Catholic Girl) question Annie Palmer, a woman rescued last issue from the Maranatha and a man named Roland Finch. Annie reveals that she was actually born in 1871 and has spent nearly all her life in a magical floating stronghold. She was seduced by Roland Finch and betrayed after she’d been duped into helping him take over the stronghold. She managed to escape to our world, bringing a map to other floating strongholds, but now Finch has stolen the map, too. Can the group of heroes figure out how to keep Finch from destroying all the other strongholds?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Great dialogue from John Rozum and lots of weird stuff all over the place. I like Frazer Irving’s art, but sometimes, David Kim’s helmet of hair kinda freaks me out…

Today’s Cool Links:

• Chris Sims wants to know why DC chickened out on a story about another Muslim superhero.
• Snell has some questions about why DC’s letters pages haven’t been edited to acknowledge the upcoming reboot.
• And speaking of the reboot — for a company that trumpeted their dedication to diversity, DC’s new Justice League sure is stuffed full of white dudes…
• Here’s a cool short film about a simple plot device and how it changes the world — repeatedly — for one film fan.

Billy the Kid’s Old Timey Oddities and the Ghastly Fiend of London #1

The prize for the longest title of the week goes to this one right here. Spinning out of the backup stories in Eric Powell’s recent “Buzzard” miniseries, this is written by Powell, with Kyle Hotz taking care of the art. Billy the Kid accompanies his cohorts in the traveling freak show — owner Fineas Sproule, who has hands in place of his feet, creatively tattooed Isadora, the extraordinarily small Jeffrey Tinsle, and the lizard-faced Aldwin Callahan — as they journey to London. They start out by meeting one of the most famous freaks — Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man, looking a great deal more pachydermian than he ever did in real life.

Merrick tells them that Jack the Ripper is on the loose, and the terrified populace, desperate to find a scapegoat for the murders, has latched onto London’s apparently sizable collection of genetic freaks as the likely culprits, lynching one of them from time to time. Fineas agrees to investigate, dragging Billy along. While Billy gets friendly with one of the local prostitutes, Fineas meets up with a fellow American named H.H. Holmes. And then Billy gets drugged, the prostitute gets her head lopped off, and Billy gets accused of being the Ripper. This is likely to be a lot of trouble now…

All that, plus there’s a backup story starring the Goon and Frankie! They’re both on vacation, wearing Hawaiian shirts and shorts and sandals out on the docks. Hey, one of the local freaks just stole all of their weiners! Can the Goon stop them, even while wearing kicky summer sandals?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of utterly bizarre fun. Billy is entirely hilarious in his complete clueless crudity, especially in comparison to Joseph Merrick’s gentle nature and super-literate behavior. The story looks to be developing pretty well, too, and Kyle Hotz sure does draw some entertaining freaks. The Goon story is fun, too — I never imagined I’d be so entertained by the Goon wearing flip-flops.

Weird War Tales #1

When I first heard that DC was going to be publishing these one-shots of their classic war comics, this was the one that really got me interested — partly because “Weird War Tales” was always one of those great high-concept comics — military comics + horror/sci-fi! Wheee! — and partly because it was going to have a cover and story by Darwyn Cooke.

Well, Cooke’s story leads us off, as many of history’s great warriors and military leaders get together once every year as undead revenants to, well, drink, shoot each other in the head, and dismember each other. We get Hannibal on an undead elephant, Winston Churchill shooting himself in the head, Genghis Khan losing his skull  to one of Joan of Arc’s arrows and then stepping on his head — and then it ends with Hitler beating everyone?! Like heck! We also get a story of a seemingly immortal dead man in a sunken submarine, and of a couple of war buddies keeping themselves entertained in their final moments with stories of dinosaurs attacking German tanks.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Okay, I really enjoyed the “Private Parker Sees Thunder Lizards” story that closed out the comic, but the Darwyn Cooke story was a bit of a stinker. And blast it, no proper American comic book ever ends with Hitler as the winner, even if it is Hitler’s zombie!

Today’s Cool Links:

• Bully has a great tribute to the 80th anniversary of the “Blondie” comic strip.
• Kate Beaton draws Nancy Drew.
• I’ve never been particularly good with horror video games unless I can switch on god mode — and even then, I’d just as soon hide in a safe location and not venture out to meet the monsters — but this “Amnesia: The Dark Descent” game sounds simultaneously awesomely terrifying and unpleasantly terrifying. From the videos I’ve seen, I’m not sure I’d ever make it past the log-in screen…

Green Lantern #48

Basically, what happens here is that a bunch of representatives from the seven colors of rings run around fighting and arguing. We got Hal Jordan for the Green Lanterns, Carol Ferris for the Star Sapphires, Sinestro for the Sinestro Corps, Atrocitus for the Red Lanterns, Saint Walker for the Blue Lanterns (along with the Blue Lantern Guardians, Ganthet and Sayd), Indigo-1 for the Indigo Tribe, and Larfleez as the sole Orange Lantern. There is a heck of a lot of yelling and smacking people around and ring-slinging and all that jazz.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I know, it doesn’t sound like all that much happens, but there’s good characterization going on, beautiful artwork by Doug Mahnke, and a lot of behind-the-scenes plot development for the “Blackest Night” crossover.

Blackest Night #5

And speaking of “Blackest Night” — the “All-Lantern Corps” arrives on Earth, but with the death of Damage, the Black Lanterns have finally recharged their battery up to 100%, and their ultimate leader rises — Nekron, who’s some kind of undead god of the underworld. He’s raised the entire population of Coast City from the dead, but Barry Allen has some friends to call on for aid — the Justice League and the Teen Titans. Black Lantern Jean Loring grabs the Atom and Mera, and miniaturizes them into one of the Black Lantern rings. The All-Lanterns destroy Skar, the evil Black Lantern Guardian, then combine their ring power in an attempt to destroy the Black Lantern power battery — but that doesn’t work at all. And Nekron reveals one of his two secret weapons — first, there’s Black Lantern Batman, but more devastating is the fact that all of the superheroes who’ve risen from the dead, including Wonder Woman, Superman, Superboy, Kid Flash, Green Arrow, Barry Allen, and Hal Jordan, have only returned to life because Nekron let them — and that means he still has control over them.

Verdict: Thumbs up. And I really wasn’t expecting to give this a thumbs up. The All-Lanterns reciting their various oaths as they recharge their rings was dadgummed awesome, and the revelation of Nekron’s power over the risen superheroes was especially cool. I hope they can maintain this level of coolness for the rest of the miniseries.

The Goon #33

Not your typical “Goon” comic — this one is almost entirely wordless. There are word balloons, but they’re usually filled with other cartoons, symbols, and abstractions to represent what the characters are thinking or saying. A floozy sets her sights on the Goon and Frankie, a black-hearted villain runs amok with a meat cleaver, and a little kid thinks happily of robots and candy. All that plus notes from Eric Powell about burlesque, cage fighters, Cracker Barrel, the in-production “Goon” movie, and a bunch of prisoners with “Goon” tattoos.

Verdict: Thumbs up. A fun little experiment, and it still holds true to the spirit of “The Goon.” And Eric Powell’s post-comic notes are always fun to read — there aren’t many comic creators who sponsor burlesque dancers, cage fighters, and roller derby teams…

A’ight, we’re done with Ghost Week, but I still got the Halloween spirit! And even better, it’s Friday night — so that means we’re getting a nice, fat, awesome Halloween Weekend! Ooh, and my calendar says the day after Halloween is gonna be a full moon, too! That means this is gonna be a historically fantastic weekend — and the best way to kick off a historically fantastic weekend is with FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

And there’s no better way to celebrate Halloween and fighting than with that monster-stompin’ tough guy, the Goon! From Eric Powell’s 2003 collection, The Goon: Nothin’ but Misery, here’s the Goon squaring off against a monstrous Bog Lurk:

Y’all better have the good candy when I get to your door! None of that no-name chalky stuff, ya hear!

Dethklok versus the Goon

Oh, mercy. Someone up there must like me.

Who do we got here? We got “The Goon,” Eric Powell’s crude, hilarious, hyper-violent, horror-noir pulp, and we got Dethklok from Adult Swim’s “Metalocalypse,” Brendon Small’s crude, hilarious, hyper-violent heavy-metal cartoon. It’s all written and illustrated by Powell, with Small stepping in to help. We start out with an evil plot to control the world using William Murderface’s inbred brain, combined with a brainwashed Dr. Rockzo the Rock and Roll Clown (He does cocaine!) trying to kill Dethklok. But things go improbably awry, leaving Dethklok’s gigantic headquarters Mordhaus stuck in the same dimension as the Goon’s Lonely Street. So the Goon and his pals initially mistake Dethklok for some of the new girls at the local brothel before some hijinx get started. Skwisgar does the nasty with Mama Norton, Rockzo introduces Franky to cocaine, Dethklok plays a concert, and the Goon slaughters untold multitudes of Dethklok’s henchmen.

Verdict: You gotta ask? Thumbs up. This ain’t deep storytelling, but if you love Dethklok and you love the Goon, you will love the bleeding screaming snot out of this. Powell is a lot better at drawing the Goon than he is at drawing Dethklok, but he’s absolutely got the cartoon’s brand of humor down perfectly. Tons of hilarious moments and lines here — I won’t spoil the best line in the comic, but you’ll know it when you see it. I also loved Murderface’s reaction after their manager questions the wisdom of promoting the band’s new album by shooting a thousand bald eagles out of a cannon and into George Washington’s face on Mount Rushmore: “Well, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you hated America!” And Dethklok’s concert is just brilliant, as is Franky’s critique of it — “What’s that sound?! It tells me my skin is alive and it hates me!”

Repeating for emphasis: LOVED IT.

Green Lantern #44

The Blackest Night has started, as one of the black rings revives the Martian Manhunter, who goes after Hal Jordan and the recently resurrected Barry Allen. Do they have a chance against a shapeshifting telepathic zombie Martian Superman? I wouldn’t bet on it. Meanwhile, the evil Guardian called Scar reveals to the other captured Guardians what’s going on — emotions are the cause of chaos in the universe, so she plans to bring order by extinguishing all emotions and killing all sentient life. And John Stewart is about to find out what happens when the black rings zombify an entire planet.

Verdict: Thumbs up. J’onn makes an excellent villain here — tossing buildings, shapeshifting, reading minds, and decisively knocking the stuffing out of a couple of DC’s heaviest hitters. The rationale behind Scar’s plot is good, too, and I’m looking forward to seeing what a Black Lantern Planet is going to be like. And yes, Doug Mahnke really is the perfect artist for this — he does great action, he does wonderful square-jawed heroes, and his monsters and zombies are the best in the biz.

Time for a new 12-round series of Friday Night Fights, and Spacebooger has a new theme and set of rules that I’m not real thrilled with — music lyrics. The rule is that I’m supposed to tie my panels of punishing pugilism to a song title or lyric. Well, great, but I’ve got a lousy memory for song titles and even worse for song lyrics. I really doubt I’d be able to consistently come up with songs that match the fights… so I’m gonna go ahead and plan on breaking the rules as often as I need to. Like, for example, today.

So here we’ve got a panel from January 2008’s The Goon #20 by Eric Powell, in which the Goon punches some oversized doofus across the chops:

So I wracked my brain trying to come up with a song to match up with that. I can’t find any lyrics for “Dude, I punched some guy who was taller than me” or “Lookit those teeth fly”. The closest I could come up with was that old kids’ song “Little Bunny Foo Foo,” but the bit where the Good Fairy saying “If you don’t behave, I’ll turn you into a GOON” isn’t even sung, it’s just spoken.

So instead of specific lyrics, let’s just hit the trailer for the upcoming “Dethklok vs. the Goon” one-shot. It’s about the Goon, and it certainly includes music by Dethklok, the most brutal death metal band ever. So I’m calling it a win. Huzzah!

QUICK UPDATE: Hey, I just realized that the music played at the end of the “Dethklok vs. the Goon” trailer is Dethklok’s “Face Fisted” — which actually appears to conform to Spacebooger’s rules. Nevertheless, I’m still declaring this to be a rule-breaker, just to emphasize that I’ll be breaking that rule pretty often, and that none of youse sorry mugs is tough enough to stop me.

Spacebooger has still declared us to be in the hiatus fortnight for Friday Night Fights, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get a little proper brawling in before the weekend, right? Sure, we had some trouble with not being able to get any actual violence in last week, but I got that solved — we’re going with something from January 2008’s The Goon #20 by Eric Powell. It’s the roughenest, toughenest, rootinest, tootinest scrap-happy comic there is, so I’m sure there’s gotta be something terrifically brutal in here.

Wha?

No, wait, I mean, wha?

Alright, that did severe violence to my brain. That counts, doesn’t it?

Y’all have a merry weekend, despite the lack of fisticuffs.

Dangit, now I want a ham sandwich…