Well, my children, it’s the end of another thoroughly gruesome week, and one measly weekend just ain’t really gonna settle things down for us. But it’ll help. So let’s celebrate while we can with everyone’s favorite: FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight’s battle comes to us from February 1983’s Marvel Two-in-One #96 by Tom DeFalco, Ron Wilson, and Mike Esposito. Ben Grimm is stuck in the hospital after a rough battle, and now a whole bunch of supervillains are on the way to finish him off.

But Marvel’s superheroes aren’t gonna let Aunt Petunia’s favorite nephew down, are they?

That’s a bunch of Marvel’s greatest superheroes beating up on the Rhino, MODOK, and a bunch of Moloids. Not a bad way to kick off the weekend, is it?

Captain Marvel #9

Captain Marvel and Tic are traveling through the galaxy when they unexpectedly meet up with mutant teleporting rock superstar Lila Cheney! She reveals a particularly weird problem she has — she’s supposed to marry a prince on a world where everyone rhymes, and she doesn’t really want to get hitched. So Carol and Tic have to figure out a way to keep Lila away from the altar. Can she handle fighting off a jealous suitor? Can she keep this rhyming gig going all the way through? Will there be a surprise wedding after all?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Fun story, fantastic and charismatic art — David Lopez has a very strong talent for great facial expressions — and perfectly servicible rhymes. It’s a fun and funny break, and the sort of thing that’s always enjoyable in a superhero comic.

Red Sonja #13

Sonja tracks down and executes a murderous sorcerer, but not before he hits her with a terrible curse, depriving her of the ability to ever forgive anyone of any slight, no matter how small. That means she ends up unleashing on everyone she comes across — and her newly boundless rage even costs her the opportunity to destroy the only marauder who escaped her vengeance after the destruction of her home village.

Verdict: Thumbs up. New storyarc, but same familiar and wonderful artwork and storytelling we’ve come to expect from this title. Looking forward to what looks like a more personal challenge for the She-Devil with a Sword…

Captain America and the Mighty Avengers #1

The Falcon is the new Captain America, and he’s preparing to lead the Mighty Avengers. This is good news, right? Well, maybe not. The Falcon was among a number of superheroes and villains affected in the “Axis” crossover — a mystical/psionic event has flipped their psyches around on their axes. Luke Cage is now a very hard-edged and ruthless businessman, while the new Captain America is, well, a fascist, much too eager to use brutal, unforgiving methods against criminals or, in fact, anyone who gets in his way. So he’s not so much going to lead the Mighty Avengers as he is going to try to kill them all…

Verdict: Man, I don’t know. The story is fine, the art is wonderful, the interlude with Spider-Man begging forgiveness for Otto Octavius’ time running around in his body is funny — but I really, really question the wisdom of pulling the high-profile stunt of putting an African-American superhero in the Captain America costume and immediately turning him into not only a supervillain but an enthusiastic fascist. There are just a vast number of unfortunate implications going on right there…

Lumberjanes #6

The Lumberjanes are competing in a game of capture the flag, and they’re on the losing end of things, partly because one of the girls on the other side is a secret teleporter who is definitely not who everyone thought she was. Everyone suspects Jo of being some sort of ancient mythical being in disguise, despite her vehement denials. Will the girls win the game? How will they escape from jail? And who the heck are the ancient mythical beings in disguise?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Wonderfully funny, with great action. The dialogue is fantastic — my favorite wildly hilarious interjection in this issue is “For the love of Sister Rosetta Tharpe.”

Loki: Agent of Asgard #6

It’s been a few months since this one came out last, I think. Most of this issue is centered in Latveria. Dr. Doom is time-traveling, with the help of Valeria Richards. He encounters a vast wasteland in the far future, inhabited only by old Loki and a skull spirit, who inform Doom that he’s standing in the ruins of Latveria itself. Then they puke bugs at him and completely freak him out before Valeria is able to pull him back to the present. This convinces Doom that he needs to eliminate Loki now. After kidnapping him with his time portal, Doom tells him they’re going to have a magical duel that will take the form of a conversation about the nature of stories, and then about the nature of Doom himself — is he flesh and blood, is he a robot, or is he a god himself?

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is really something else — it goes from scores of beetles crawling out of old Loki’s mouth and eyes — and genuinely frightening Dr. Doom himself — to a lengthy philosophical conversation. And it’s still a fascinating, action-filled comic. Definitely worth reading.

Mighty Avengers #14

The Deathwalkers have merged into a single monstrous being and enslaved the world with crippling illusions. Only Luke Cage seems to be immune — he manages to get the Deathwalkers’ chalice to Kaluu, who uses it to combine the Avengers’ spirits into the Avenger Prime. But can even the united Avengers stop the Prime Deathwalker?

Verdict: Thumbs up. The action is good, though the metaphysics are maybe a bit flaky. Not really sure how Luke managed to get free from the Deathwalkers’ influence when no one else worldwide was able to do it. This is apparently the final issue, but it’ll be relaunched in a couple months as Captain America and the Mighty Avengers. Hopefully, it’ll be completely free of the curse of Greg Land.

Multiversity #1

Nix Uotan is the last Monitor, operating as a multiversal superhero called Superjudge. While answering a distress call from Earth-7 with his sidekick, Mr. Stubbs the Pirate Monkey, he finds a world ruined, with only one superhero left, the Thunderer, an Aboriginal Australian and thunder god laboring under intense psychic attack by transdimensional monsters called the Gentry. Uotan sends the Thunderer to a place called the House of Heroes while he prepares to battle the Gentry.

Far away, on Earth-23, Superman (also known as the President of the United States, which has got to be the world’s worst secret identity) gets teleported to the House of Heroes, where he meets up with Captain Carrot, the Thunderer, Dino-Cop, Aqua-Woman, Red Racer, and heroes from across the Multiverse. They travel to Earth-8, home of Lord Havok and the Extremists, as well as a bunch of superheroes from Marvel — excuse me, from Major Comics. Lord Havok is about to hatch something terrible from the Genesis Egg — but what horror is going to emerge?

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s Grant Morrison writing a cosmic story about weird alternate-universe superheroes, with only a slight connection to the New 52, so he’s going to be playing with a bunch of wild characters and concepts. Superman may be our lead hero, but Captain Carrot is where all the fun is. As I’ve said plenty of times before, I’d love to see a revival — a non-dark-and-gritty revival — of Captain Carrot and the Zoo Crew.

Sensation Comics #1

Much like “Legends of the Dark Knight” and the more recent “Adventures of Superman,” this is an anthology series of not-necessarily-in-continuity tales, this time entirely focusing on Wonder Woman.

Our first tale, written by Gail Simone and illustrated mostly by Ethan van Sciver, is set gloriously in the pre-Reboot DC Universe. It has Gotham City’s villains teaming up to (temporarily) take down Batman. Looking for a hero to help get Gotham back under control, Oracle (Yes! Oracle!) gets on the phone and calls in Wonder Woman, who comes in throwing actual Wonderangs. But the villains in Gotham are a lot more uncontrolled than most bad guys, and they don’t generally consider anyone less terrifying than Batman to be a real threat. Can Diana put the scare in Gotham’s villains? Or will she find a third way forward?

The second story is, unfortunately, a much more pedestrian battle against Circe.

Verdict: Thumbs up. That first Gail Simone story is really pretty awesome. And not just because it doesn’t have a single whiff of the New 52 about it. Every bit of it is gloriously put together, and it’s really fun to see Diana out of her element and getting challenged by Batman’s mostly-unpowered rogues gallery. If more of the stories in this series are like Gail’s and less like the predictable and dull Circe slugfest, this is going to really be a great series.

Ms. Marvel #7

Kamala and Wolverine narrowly survive an attack by the Inventor’s gigantic sewer alligator and then start making their way out of the sewer. But it turns out the mad genius wasn’t done with them yet and was just luring them into another trap. Can they escape? Can they free the Inventor’s other victims? And what’s gonna happen after Wolverine deduces her true origin?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Some good action, but most of this issue is pleasantly talky, with Wolverine coaxing more of Kamala’s background out of her. The art is a bit odd in places — a little like the Teen Titans cartoon — but in others, it’s really fun to watch how the dialogue will go crawling up a page as the two heroes climb out of the sewer.

Mighty Avengers #13

The immortal wizard-gods called the Deathwalkers are back, and they have a plan to destroy the world using Blade’s blood. Can Blade break free from confinement? Can Power Man track down where he’s being held? Can the combined forces of the Mighty Avengers of the 1970s and the Mighty Avengers of 2014 defeat the boundless evil of the Deathwalkers and their minions? Or is it already too late for the human race?

Verdict: Thumbs up. For starters, no Greg Land on the art! We’ve got Salvador Larroca, who’s way, way better. The rest of the story is fine, but probably not blow-up-the-house awesome.

Today’s Cool Links:

• This is a great tribute to the best kinds of geek-centered stores — lots of comics, lots of games, lots of memories.
• Nice article — but very spoiler-filled — about the ways we’re changing how we think of heroes in fiction.
• A complete WTF story: There’s a man in Texas who’s been imprisoned for 34 years without a conviction.
• I don’t mind the ALS ice bucket challenges at all, and this is a nice reminder that they’re definitely good things.

Groo vs. Conan #1

I just can’t resist the concept. I really loved the old Archie Meets the Punisher crossover from a couple decades ago, mixing serious comics with funny comics and meshing cartooning with dramatic art. So Sergio Aragones’ pea-brained barbarian Groo the Wanderer meets up with Robert E. Howard’s Conan of Cimmeria — “black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth” — that’s just so weird, and I just don’t care.

While Conan heroically scales a tower, defeats a wizard, and rescues a fair maiden, Groo ends up getting tricked into helping some corrupt politicos and associated troops rout innocent villagers from a beloved local bakery. And wrapped around this story are our writers, Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier, getting mixed up in a riot at a comic shop. Sergio is injured and taken to a hospital, where he’s injected with enough drugs to get him hallucinating that he’s Conan himself and fleeing the hospital to find some evil to fight.

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s a thoroughly weird story, which means I’m basically required by law to love it.

Daredevil #6

In this Original Sin crossover, Uatu’s exploding eye has revealed a secret from Matt’s past — at some point, his beloved father Battlin’ Jack Murdock beat Matt’s mother, who is now a nun called Sister Maggie. When Matt returns to New York to quiz his mother about what happened, he discovers that she and two other nuns have been arrested after spray-painting peace slogans on the walls of a military base that was testing chemical weapons. But they haven’t been arrested for vandalism — in fact, no one is telling anyone what they’ve been arrested for. No one has read them their rights, and they’ve been given no legal counsel. And a military tribunal has ordered them extradited to Wakanda. Wakanda? What the heck? T’Challa is no longer in charge in Wakanda, and no one claims to know anything about the case. Matt ends up sneaking into Wakanda’s Manhattan embassy to find some evidence about what’s going on — and walks right into a trap.

Verdict: Thumbs up. The usual great writing and art. Thankfully, only a minimum of connection to the Original Sin series, as most of the emphasis is on the mystery of why Matt’s mother has been reasonlessly arrested. And it’s an excellent mystery — it definitely has me looking forward to the rest of this storyline.

Axe Cop: The American Choppers #3

Everyone meets Axe Cop’s real father, who was a general on General Planet and who sent Axe Cop to Earth as a baby to escape the destruction of his home planet. He brings Axe Cop back to life, and the whole team returns to Earth to fight Captain Axe’s evil uncle and Satan himself. They kill Satan twice — and then throughout the universe killing all of the Space Satans.

Verdict: Sorry, but thumbs down. Too self-aware, it repeated too much stuff that’d been done before, Axe Cop’s new origin was a groaner. I thought the most interesting parts were when the characters, who’ve always been focused exclusively on chopping off bad guys’ heads, actually made inquiries about deep philosophical and theological questions. But those moments were few and far between.

Mighty Avengers #12

Long story short: the Mighty Avengers of the 1970s take on the Deathwalkers, ancient wizard-kings, former wise rulers corrupted by human sacrifice. They want to destroy the world, and only our heroes stand in the way. But will Earth’s Mightiest Heroes stand a chance against impossibly powerful sorcerers?

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s mostly a slugfest, sure, but it’s a good slugfest.

Mighty Avengers #11

So this is a crossover with the “Original Sin” thing, which is all kinds of irritating. Worst thing about it is how long it takes to describe what the whole thing is about. Basically, someone killed the Watcher and stole his eyeballs. A low-level villain called the Orb got hold of one of the eyes, and then it blew up like a bomb and somehow made a lot of people learn about secrets they’d never heard of before. Spider-Man finds out someone else got bit by his radioactive spider, Thor finds out he has a sister, and Luke Cage finds out his father ran some sort of street-level superteam back in the ’70s, which he is, for some reason, all freaked out about.

Anyway, most of this focuses on Luke’s dad, James Lucas, telling the story of his big team-up, which featured him, as a homicide detective, a reporter named Constance Molina, Blade the vampire slayer, Dr. Adam “Blue Marvel” Brashear, and Kaluu, Master of Black Magic, as they tried to track down a bunch of shapeshifting monsters.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Other than Greg Land’s incredibly irritating tracing, I really do enjoy the blaxploitation vibe of this story. It’s actually really cool to see Blade in his old retro costume from the old “Tomb of Dracula” days.

Shutter #3

Kate Kristopher narrowly escapes serious injury in a rocket attack on her apartment, though her longtime friend Alain is hospitalized with extensive burns. She needs to go find some place where she won’t have to worry about assassins trying to kill her — so she goes to her father’s old homestead, meets up with the bony butler Harrington, and learns that there will be other guests at the mansion as well.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Wonderfully weird stuff all the way through, but I was completely sold four pages, when a bunch of underworld lowlifes drawn to look like characters from a Richard Scarry book plot an assassination.

She-Hulk #5

She-Hulk has decided to investigate her mysterious blue file — a record of a lawsuit filed against her and a number of superheroes and villains. Unfortunately, she has no memory of the case at all. In the process of speaking to the other defendants, Shulkie talks to the Shocker, who doesn’t remember anything significant about the case. Hellcat talks to Tigra, who promptly freaks out and goes into robot attack mode as soon as Patsy mentions the case. Jennifer’s paralegal, Angie Huang, travels to North Dakota to research the case, finds some information, and unknowingly sends a clerk into freakout mode. And Shulkie, unaware that the case is making some people completely freak out, calls up Wyatt Wingfoot to quiz him about it — while he’s climbing a mountain…

Verdict: Thumbs up for the writing and story, which is deepening the mystery about this case wonderfully — but thumbs down for the fill-in art, which is often really, really unattractive.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Gail Simone on how rotten the comics community was just a decade ago, how great her readers are, and how cool other female comic writers are. Gail Simone is the best.
• Animals dancing to Salt-n-Pepa’s “Push It.”
• I’m a sucker for a capella renditions of punk rock songs.

Ms. Marvel #4

Kamala Khan got shot in the stomach by a mostly fake robber with an entirely real gun — but luckily, her new shapeshifting powers let her heal herself up. But she can’t shapeshift again while she’s still healing, so she can’t look like Captain Marvel again — so she and her pal Bruno hide her identity with… a sleep mask. Well, the cops buy it, ’cause I guess Jersey cops see a lot of weird stuff. But Bruno’s brother may be in trouble — in fact, he’s the fake robber who shot her — and Kamala has to rig up her first real superhero costume to try to rescue him.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Y’all know I love the heck out of this comic, right? The writing is still cool, the art is still very cool. The characters are grand fun — even the low-grade teenaged thugs at the end are fun to read. And I love how glorious Kamala’s relationship with her mother is — a little prickly on the surface, but there are hidden depths there. Also, by the way, it’s great to see Kamala in her real costume at last.

Mighty Avengers #10

This is an “Original Sin” crossover book, so basically, someone has killed the Watcher, and everyone’s upset. The Blue Marvel was apparently friends with Uatu and pledges to find his killer. He also meets Uatu’s and Ulana’s baby. Meanwhile, the rest of the team battles a Mindless One while Spectrum rants amusingly about events from Nextwave, and Blade fights a bunch of fire-breathing were-roosters, which is why I love comics.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yeah, it’s a durn crossover tie-in, but we get to spend most of it visiting the forgotten corners of the Blue Marvel’s life. Plus there’s a whole page devoted to the awesomeness of Nextwave. And, one more time, fire-breathing were-roosters. Fire. Breathing. Were-roosters.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Comic-Con’s message is pretty clear here: “We want to be the pro-harassment convention.”
• Ever wondered what goes on inside a dishwasher?
• I don’t know anything about this movie, but the visuals look spectacular.
• If you know any teabaggers who are screaming their teeth out about Bowe Bergdahl, show them this epic smackdown of a rant, just to watch their heads explode.

Mighty Avengers #9

There’s a short bit at the beginning and the very end where we learn who Ronin really is — but there’s absolutely no suspense or surprise about this because Marvel leaked that he was Blade months and months ago.

But the bulk of our story focuses on the Blue Marvel, whose son Max Brashear has become a supervillain called Dr. Positron, hoping to open the Neutral Zone to rescue his long-lost brother. But exposure to the energies of the Neutral Zone has turned Kevin Brashear into a gargantuan extra-dimensional monstrosity whose emergence into our reality could end up blowing up the entire solar system. And he’s composed of energy that could kill the Blue Marvel if he’s exposed to it. Can She-Hulk and Monica Rambeau manage to team up to resolve the situation?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Yes, even with Greg Land back doing his tracework. The whole story is pretty good, but maybe the most fun is seeing what adventures the Marvel and his son Kevin were up to over the years. (Although it’s plenty weird that according to this comic, the Fantastic Four fought Galactus for the first time sometime after 1999. Maybe that little tidbit should’ve been kept vague or just omitted, don’tcha think, Marvel?)

Astro City #11

Raitha McCann has a very nice job as the personal assistant for a busy executive — namely, the Silver Adept, Astro City’s version of the Sorcerer Supreme. The Silver Adept is maybe a bit of a flake, but she’s very good at her job. But there’s so much work to do when it comes to stopping magical disasters across multiple planes of reality, and she really needs Raitha’s help getting everything coordinated. But when the Adept is unavoidably off-planet when a trio of mystical bigwigs called the Nightflying Lord, the Queen of Dust and Decay, and Tumorr show up on the doorstep. Can Raitha keep them happy before they decide to wage war on our corner of reality?

Verdict: Thumbs up. The story is alright, but not particularly outstanding. It’s really a couple excellent character studies — overworked but hyper-competent Raitha, trying to keep up with the impossible tasks she has to deal with, and the wonderfully non-serious Silver Adept, who I’d love to see in as many other stories as possible.

Captain Marvel #2

Carol meets up with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Hijinks ensue.

Verdict: Thumbs up. I know, it’s not much of a plot, but the hijinks are great, the art is great, and it’s great to have an all-fun issue, especially with future movie stars.

Today’s Cool Links:

• Whatever happened to Tom Lehrer?
• This video of two 70-year-old women going on their first plane flight is absolutely marvelous.
• A short film on the overview effect, which is the most awesome condition that astronauts get.

Captain Marvel #1

The good news is we got new Captain Marvel comics! The bad news is it’s a pointless new #1 issue when we could’ve been enjoying a few months of comics about Carol Danvers between the end of the previous series and the beginning of this one.

Anyway, we start out with Carol on a distant alien world, hanging out with a bunch of aliens, all on a secret mission to find some trinket. Then we flash back to a mere six weeks ago, when Carol was still on Earth. She and Iron Patriot (better known as James “War Machine” Rhodes) intercept an apparent missile that actually contains an unconscious alien life form. Later, Carol visits with her young friend Kit — who is living, with her mother, inside Carol’s apartment inside the Statue of Liberty — which has really gotta be a nice crash pad. She and Tony Stark bust some muggers while discussing assigning her or Rhodey as temporary Avengers reps with the Guardians of the Galaxy. We learn that Carol and Rhodey have actually been an item for a while before Carol finally decides to take her trip into outer space.

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s great to see a new series starring this character — even though the original series never should’ve been cancelled in the first place. It’s also fantastic to see that Marvel has finally put a competent artist on the book — the previous series had gorgeous covers and inept interior artwork, and I hope they keep more A-list artistic talent on the book. The writing, dialogue, and plotting are all outstanding. My only real quibble is that we completely missed out on the Carol-Rhodey romance — but I also always think Earth-based stories are more interesting than stories set in space.

Astro City #10

Winged Victory, Samaritan, and the Confessor are working to track Karnazon and the missing women from Winged Victory’s shelters. She returns to be judged by the Council of Nike, which is debating whether to remove her powers for good. But in the midst of their interrogation, one of her signal devices activates — a teenager who’d sneaked into Karnazon’s hideout triggers it when the villain’s troops attack him. The heroes rout the bad guys, and W.V. returns to the Council, which is unhappy that she associates with male superheroes instead of serving as a symbol of female empowerment. She rejects their judgement, saying it’s wrong to insist that women can only be strong by standing alone, and that there are times to stand alone and times to join with like-minded allies. Will it be enough for the Council?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Though it’s probably not the strongest ending possible, but the entire storyarc was making it clear that this wasn’t going to be something that ended with a perfect moment of awesomeness and triumph. It’s more of a mixed victory, ’cause that’s more how the world works. Still, great art, dialogue, and everything else we’ve come to expect from Astro City.

Mighty Avengers #8

The Blue Marvel, Spectrum, and She-Hulk head out after they receive an alert about someone in the Pacific Ocean trying to open up a portal to somewhere called the Neutral Zone, an interdimensional plane where positive and negative matter coexists. Meanwhile, the White Tiger makes peace with the tiger god that gives her superpowers — and by “make peace,” I mean “taunts it into giving up and giving her all of its powers.” And back in the Pacific, our heroes run up against a supervillain calling himself Dr. Positron — and he has a serious surprise in store for the Blue Marvel.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Lots of nice action and surprises. Excellent dialogue. Great art. Just an all-around fun issue.

Mighty Avengers #7

So a while back, Gideon Mace, one of Luke Cage’s old villains, killed Ava Ayala’s parents. Since becoming the White Tiger, Ava has at least been happy that Mace was in prison — but she’s just learned that he’s out of jail and sponsoring terrorist arsonists. She doesn’t react well to that — in fact, she gives the tiger god that grants her powers permission to run wild in her body and hunt Mace down. The problem for the Avengers now is not just how to keep Mace alive, but how to keep a White Tiger with godlike abilities and utterly savage efficiency from killing all of them.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Once again, no Greg Land art to screw this all up! Valerio Schiti’s art is kinetic and fun and action-packed and personable — everything that Land could never be. Al Ewing’s writing is great, too. It’s kinda fun to see Ava mop the floor with her teammates, and the ending boosts the stakes for the whole team going forward.

The Manhattan Projects #18

Much of this issue focuses on the battle between the blue alien hippie monster and the maniacal General Westmoreland. And Dr. Oppenheimer offers his prisoners a chance at salvation — all they have to do is betray their colleagues and work for him. Will any of them side with him? Heck, knowing this bunch, will all of them side with him? And who’s going to end up running the Manhattan Projects?

Verdict: Thumbs up. Action-packed and bizarre and hilarious. And game-changing on several different levels. Is Westmoreland the hero now? Is Einstein the villain? And what’s gonna happen to Oppenheimer now?

Today’s Cool Links:

• Just what it says: “Eye of the Tiger” performed on a dot-matrix printer.
• This documentary about newspaper comics, webcomics, and what happens to the art form of cartooning as the newspaper industry collapses looks pretty interesting.
• Someone needs to do a sociological study of these fusions of J-pop and heavy metal.
• And speaking of awesome heavy metal fusions…