Iron Man

I waited ’til yesterday to see the “Iron Man” movie — I hate watching big blockbusters on their first weekend, mostly to avoid the crowds. And I really enjoyed it. Obviously, Robert Downey, Jr.’s performance as Tony Stark is probably one of the best comics-to-screen interpretations of a character ever, right up there with Christopher Reeve’s Superman, Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man, and Ron Perlman’s Hellboy. Jeff Bridges as supervillain/corporate-PR-whiz Obadiah Stane is also great fun to watch — but that’s kind of expected, because Jeff Bridges is a seriously fantastic actor. Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard are pretty good, but they’re really not that important to the movie. Stan Lee has the best cameo he’s ever had in a movie. The action is good, the superheroics are good, the humor is completely awesome.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Go see this movie, whether or not you like “Iron Man” comics. If you want to see an extra scene with Samuel L. Jackson, stay ’til the end of the credits, but if you wanna skip it, it’s not that important, or that great. Yeah, I went and said it, so there.

Batman #675

Weird issue. Bruce Wayne is dating a woman named Jezebel Jet — someone I’ve never heard of, but apparently, this has been going on for a while. Jezebel is sick of Bruce’s frequent disappearing acts, and she’s ready to call it off. Terrorists led by the Ten-Eyed Man attack and try to kidnap her, and Bruce completely unleashes on them.

Thumbs up, but just barely. The action parts of the story are good. But who the heck is Jezebel Jet, and why haven’t we seen her more often, if she’s really that important?

Green Lantern #30

In the re-telling of Green Lantern’s origin, Abin Sur crashes on Earth and gives former jet pilot Hal Jordan his power ring. Hal saves a crashing plane, he and Carol Ferris make eyes at each other, and we meet Hector Hammond.

Verdict: Thumbs up, but again, just barely. We already know the story of how Hal got his ring, and this re-telling isn’t showing us much that’s either new or interesting. On the other hand, it’s cool to see Hector Hammond before he got his oversized cranium.

Number of the Beast #2

The Paladins are in a panic because they can’t figure out what caused the disappearance of 90% of the city’s population. They suspect that the evil Dr. Sin had something to do with it, but everyone suspects the truth — the Rapture has occurred, and the end of the world is coming. And right on cue, a meteor storm comes up out of nowhere — fire from the heavens. A guy called the Eidolon visits Dr. Sin in the brig and starts telling him that none of this is real, it’s all happened before, someone BIG is coming. And those government agents in their high-tech HQ are up to no good.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Mysteries galore! Weird religious references! Sinister conspiracies! Love it!

 

Number of the Beast #1

Well, that’s an ominous title and cover, isn’t it? This is part of a new crossover series in the Wildstorm Universe, with a “new” superteam taking the lead role. The team is called the Paladins, including Aeronaut, Engine Joe, the Thrush, Falconette, Wallflower, Johnny Ray-Gun, the Midnight Rider, Neandra, the Black Anvil, Mago, and Tumbleweed, and though this is the first time we’ve seen them, their backstory says they’re the top supergroup in the newest version of the Wildstorm Universe.

Anyway, the Paladins beat up some supervillains and fight off an invasion from the excellently-named Saucerlings from Saturn’s Moons. But sandwiching all of this is the really weird, disturbing stuff. There are a couple of low-level flunkies for the government, and they wear patches on their uniforms that look like an American flag with a stylized “666” in place of the stars. They dump a barrel-full of liquified human — actually a barrel-full of liquified human who’s still alive — into a storage tube. And much later, they start making people around the city vanish into thin air… by pushing a button marked “Rapture.”

Verdict: Thumbs up. I’m a big fan of Chris Sprouse’s artwork — really, who isn’t? And the story mixes Silver Age superheroics with extraordinarily creepy religious horror. I hope it stays fun.

 

Wonder Woman #19

On the Khund homeworld, Wonder Woman meets up with a Green Lantern named Procanon Kaa who wants the mysterious Ichor Ship to destroy the warlike Khunds. Diana has to fight him down and simultaneously persuade him to embrace a peaceful solution. But the Khunds plan to destroy their own planet to save face for being defeated by the Ichor. Can Wondy get Kaa to rediscover his compassion? Can she stop the Khund plan for self-genocide? Can she get the Ichor to leave the Khund homeworld?

Verdict: Thumbs up. I don’t much like Bernard Chang’s skinny version of Wondy, but it’s a minor quibble. I do like Gail Simone’s characterization of Wonder Woman as someone who knows so much about battle that she can beat a guy weilding the most powerful weapon in the universe but who’s willing to take a beat-down for the cause of peace. Dude, that’s hardcore. Not sure why we really needed Etta Candy along for this ride, but I enjoyed the last couple of pages with Kaa and the Khund general’s daughter, Kho.

 

Green Lantern Corps #23

A batch of Green Lanterns, including Kyle Rayner and Guy Gardner, are selected to track and recover a bunch of Sinestro Corps rings. A new yellow ring is delivered to Duel Eknham, a deformed alien who looks like a conjoined twin and has two warring personalities, both of whom love to kill people. And Mongul sets up some evil plans that include collecting a whole bunch of yellow power rings and big sackful of parasitic Black Mercy plants.

Thumbs up. The crazy siamese twin with the dueling personalities would probably make a cool villain. Some of the scenes at the beginning of the comic where various GLs are summoned to duty are pretty funny — Iolande, a member of her planet’s royal family, is vainly attempting to address her homeworld’s ruling council when she’s dragged away; the robotic Stel doesn’t get a chance to make extensive repairs to his body; and Guy Gardner stays sound asleep even as his ring pulls him to the Guardians.

Green Lantern #29

A new storyline starts here — “Secret Origin” is meant to be the untold story of Hal Jordan’s life. We see him as a kid, idolizing his pilot father and watching him die in a plane crash. We see him as a teen daredevil, worried over by his mother, resented by his older brother, and looked up to by his little brother. We see him bailing on his family at age 18 to join the Air Force, where he crashes planes, fights with Marines (including future Green Lantern John Stewart) (and is that Radu Stancu, future proprietor of Radu’s Coffee Shop and Kyle Rayner’s landlord tending bar? I do believe it is!), and eventually slugs his commanding officer to get kicked out of the USAF. On top of that, we get a short look at Hal’s GL predecessor Abin Sur interrogating Qull and the demonic Empire of Tears about the dire prophecy of the Blackest Night.

Verdict: Thumbs up. We knew a lot of this already, but the added depth is great for fleshing out Hal’s backstory a bit more. However, I do think that Ragnell is correct that Geoff Johns should’ve done some more research about the Air Force — even I know that a pilot who takes a plane out on an unauthorized joyride and slugs his C.O. is going to be sitting in the stockade, not jaunting off to see his family.

Marvel Atlas #2

I reviewed the first issue of this way, way back in December. Similar to Marvel’s “Official Handbooks of the Marvel Universe,” this focuses on notable countries instead of just people. This issue focuses on Africa, North and South America, and Antarctica. We get a few real countries, like Canada, Egypt, and Peru, plus a number of fictional ones, like Wakanda, Genosha, the Savage Land, and Atlantis. There’s no real plot — a few pictures, a ton of text, a ton of national stats, flags, histories, etc.

Verdict: Thumbs up, but with some reservations. The entries for Canada and the United States, though longer than the other entries, are still mainly a list of names of superheroes and supervillains. Clearly, there’s more Marvel history in those two countries than just about any other. So why shoehorn those two into a book along with the rest of South America and Africa? If I were Marvel, I’da released three volumes for this series instead of just two — one for Europe and Asia, a second for Africa, South America, Australia, and Antarctica, and a third focusing solely on North America. Regionalist, maybe, but this is the sort of project that benefits from being complete, and you don’t get that when you shortchange your most common settings to make ’em fit into a two-issue series.

Nevertheless, this book is great fun. Some of the smaller nations are a bit forgettable, but all the info about Wakanda, Genosha, and the Savage Land make this a Must-Buy purchase.

 

Tiny Titans #2

More all-ages goofiness. We meet Terra, who likes to throw rocks at everyone, and Kid Devil, who’s short and quiet and sets things on fire. Beast Boy loves Terra, and Cyborg helps bake a cake. The Titans take on the Fearsome Five in a high-stakes game of Freeze Tag, and the winners get to play on the swings!

Verdict: Thumbs up. It’s pretty light on the plot, but it’s charmingly written and illustrated, and it’s also pretty funny.

 

Green Lantern Corps #22

Boodikka is a new Alpha Lantern who must travel to her old home planet to capture her own sister, who has become a Green Lantern but is in danger of going rogue.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Really, this story just bored me.

 

Captain America #34: Director’s Cut

I feel like a complete sucker for picking this one up. It’s a reprint of Captain America #34, where Bucky Barnes becomes the new Captain America, with the addition of a script of the issue and a little Alex Ross artwork. Why did I get it? I saw what looked like a new issue of the comic and picked it up without paying close enough attention to it. Four bucks down the drain.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Listen, if you haven’t read this issue yet, it may be worth the cost to you — you’re getting the story, and you’re getting a few extras, too. If you’re a completist, and you just want to have every possible issue of “Captain America” you can get your hands on, fine, go ahead and get it. Otherwise, there’s absolutely no reason to get this. Save your cash for something else.

Green Lantern #28

We start seeing the other colors in the coming war — of course, we’ve already met the Green Lanterns, the Yellow Lanterns of the Sinestro Corps, the purple energy weilding Zamorrans, and two outcast Guardians, who seem to be champions of the blue energy of hope. Now, the Controllers are seeking the energy of avarice, orange, to empower themselves, and we meet two potential champions of the red energy of rage and hate.

The bulk of our plot in this issue, however, focuses on the trial of Laira, a Green Lantern who’s been accused of murdering a Sinestro Corps member named Amon Sur — the son of the GL who gave Hal Jordan his ring. Since she did pretty cold-bloodedly slaughter him after he’d surrendered, she’s found guilty and tossed out of the Corps. And once that’s done, the Guardians reveal the second of the ten new laws — they give the Green Lanterns permission to kill any enemies of the Corps. And Hal has a heart-to-heart talk with Sinestro — held prisoner on Oa and facing a death sentence, the guy who used to lead the Sinestro Corps is overjoyed by the new law, because it means the Guardians are coming around to his way of thinking.

Verdict: Thumbs up. First, I enjoyed the brief glimpse we got of Ysmault, the demonic planet that used to head the horrific Empire of Tears, last seen in 1986’s “Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #2” by Alan Moore. I’m hoping Qull of the Five Inversions survived, just because he’s such an absolutely, diabolically nasty piece of work. I was a bit disappointed with the trial — the Guardians admit that they didn’t explain the first new law properly, but still convict Laira for misinterpreting it. And the various new colors of Lanterns show some promise — let’s hope the writers can keep the good stuff coming.

 

Green Lantern Corps #21

This issue focuses on Boodikka, former mercenary from the planet Bellatrix, former hotheaded Green Lantern, and current emotionless Alpha Lantern. We get a small hint of her new powers, as she shuts down the programming on a whole herd of Manhunter robots, and we also get a glimpse into her past. For the most part, it’s all a lead-up to the cliffhanger, where she runs into the bounty hunters she used to run with, including her sister, who’s one of the newest Green Lanterns.

Verdict: Thumbs down, I think. The problem with emotionless characters is that it’s awfully hard for readers to get interested in them.

 

The Goon #21

The Goon’s old foe, the Zombie Priest, is confronted by a new zombie priest from out of town. Basically, the old Zombie Priest is in trouble, and this new, more competent zombie priest plans to take things over and take care of the Goon once and for all. Speaking of the Goon, he’s busy losing his dynamite stash to a bunch of street urchins and fighting the world’s largest transvestite. As for Franky, he has a very happy dream about a Velveteen Horsey, which unfortunately ends with a bear. And at the end of the comic, creator Eric Powell shares the joyous news with everyone that he’s officially sponsoring a cage fighter. Cage fighters are apparently really good at kicking people in the head, choking everyone who gets close, and pushing their sponsors in the swing.

Verdict: With colossal transvestites, Velveteen Horseys, and cage fighters, how could this be anything other than an enthusiastic Thumbs Up?

Green Lantern #27

We’ve got yet another “Aftermath of Sinestro Corps War” issue, but good gravy train, did they ever pack in the extra oomph! First, we’ve got Hal Jordan and John Stewart narrowly preventing Dr. Jonathan Crane, a.k.a. the Scarecrow, from becoming a Sinestro Corps member. Next, we’ve got a pretty bracing philosophical debate amongst the GL Corps about whether a Corps member’s execution of Amon Sur (the son of Hal’s predecessor and recent recruit into Sinestro’s gang) was a justifiable killing or cold-blooded murder. And finally, we’ve got the selection, transformation, and official debut of the Alpha Lanterns.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Really, this one had metric megatons of cool stuff in it. The Alpha Lanterns — Green Lanterns surgically altered into semi-robotic GL-Manhunter combinations who are charged only with enforcing justice among the other Green Lanterns — are plenty creepy, from the unnerving “cosmic surgery” that transforms them to their extremely ominous debut. And man alive, do I ever wish we could’ve seen the Scarecrow with a power ring. That woulda been sooooo cool.

Teen Titans Lost Annual

This is one of the maddest mainstream comics I’ve ever seen. And I mean that in a good way.

The whole story is set in the ’60s, and the original Teen Titans — Robin, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash, and Speedy — discover that President Kennedy has been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by a doppelganger. They travel to the aliens’ planet and discover that his abductors, a bunch of mod aliens with Beatles haircuts, have brainwashed JFK into believing he’s their general in the war against the hippie aliens. Wonder Girl romances one of the hippies for a while, and in the end, everyone makes peace, Kennedy is freed from his brainwashing, and everyone returns to Earth. And at that point, there is a plot twist so brain-breakingly awesome that I really can’t reveal it to you at all. Seriously, just go buy it yourself.

This story was written by Bob Haney, the co-creator of the Teen Titans, and one of DC’s maddest writers. He wrote the story a few years ago, and DC shelved it for way too long ’cause they thought it was too freaky to sell. Since then, there’s been a revival of interest in the Silver Age’s great comics madmen, including Haney and Bob Kanigher, and DC brought the story back into play. It’s illustrated by Jay Stephens and Mike Allred, who both have a good grasp of Haney’s style of geeky psychedelia. Unfortunately, Haney died about three years ago, so he didn’t get to see his last comics work published.

At any rate, the story really is grandly fun for all the wrong reasons. Haney, bless his heart, never managed to get the hang of the way teenagers talked, but his fractured slang and purple-prose narration actually work really well for the story. It’s a time capsule of Silver Age wackiness, reminding you of how wild comics could be back in the ’60s…

Verdict: Thumbs up. Grand fun, no question about it.

But some of the other comics I picked up weren’t near as much fun.

Justice League of America #17

What an irritating, depressing comic this is.

To understand what’s happening, you should know that there’s a DC miniseries going on right now called “Salvation Row” where the government is in the process of kidnapping every supervillain in the world and shipping them off to a hellish planet on the other end of the galaxy. So in this issue, a bunch of supervillains on the run go to the Justice League for help. And in a backup story, Vixen discovers that her weirdly messed-up powers are even more weird than anyone expected.

The big problem with the main story is that, if you’re not following “Salvation Run” (which I’m not, mainly because I’m tired of DC suckering me out of my cash for more miniseries), you have no idea what’s going on. You don’t know what’s driving the plot, or even who the supervillains are (and most of the story focuses on them). The writers make no effort to give any exposition — they just assume everyone is a long-time and obsessive comics fan who already knows what’s going on. And that’s really what’s wrong with so many DC comic books these days — the continuity is impossibly convoluted, and the writers assume that everyone knows what the heck is going on. It’s a rotten way to run a comic book company, because it actively runs off new readers who aren’t hip to all the history and crossovers.

Verdict: Thumbs down. The story is okay, but I can’t help being aggravated by the way this comic seems to be written only for the fanboys.

Green Lantern Corps #20

Kyle Rayner and Guy Gardner are moving from Earth to Oa, partly to serve as members of an honor guard protecting the planet and partly to open up a bar. Meanwhile, the evil and already-very-powerful Mongul has been given a yellow power ring; he spends several pages of the story shouting at his dead sister’s decapitated and worm-eaten head.

Verdict: Thumbs down. When the most exciting moment is the supervillain having a screaming fit at his sister’s wormy skull, you know you got a booooring comic book.

Blue Beetle #22

Hot on the trail of the evil alien race called the Reach, Jaime and Danni Garrett, granddaughter of the original Blue Beetle, go diving into an active volcano to find proof that the Reach are up to no good. They run into Tovar the Lava King, a mighty warrior prone to a lot of hollering about “Less talk! More VENGEANCE!” What’s Tovar’s place in the Reach’s plan? What does Tovar do when he finds out what he’s expected to do?

Verdict: Thumbs up. The Reach storyline is advancing very well. There’s a lot of cool stuff with Jaime’s family. And Tovar is a fun character — I hope someone can figure out a way to bring him back someday.

Green Lantern #26

Who are the Alpha Lanterns? I dunno. They don’t bother telling us in this issue.

Verdict: Thumbs down. Come on, don’t tease us with a cover that promises one thing while delivering a bunch of disconnected soap-opera blather.

The Umbrella Academy #4

In the wake of the battle against the Terminauts, the Academy family continue to squabble amongst each other, little suspecting that Vanya, the powerless, unheroic sister, has gone over to the evil Orchestra Verdammten. The diabolical Conductor claims that Vanya is the most powerful and most dangerous member of her family, and he proceeds to torture her to try to bring out her full potential. The eventual result: Vanya is transformed into la Viole Blanche, or the White Violin, a woman who can kill with music. Is she going to destroy the Orchestra Verdammten? The Umbrella Academy? The entire world? Why not all three?

Verdict: Thumbs up. This is still one of the best comics to come out in the past year, and you’re missing out if you don’t read it.

Three different comics about Green Lantern came out last week, so let’s take care of them right now.

 

Green Lantern #25

It’s the grand finale of the Sinestro Corps War saga, and tons of stuff happens. Are you ready?

It’s the Green Lanterns and Earth’s superheroes vs. the Sinestro Corps, the Cyborg Superman’s Manhunter robots, Superboy Prime, and the Anti-Monitor. Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner take on Sinestro in Coast City, Guy Gardner catches an evil Sinestro Corps virus, the Anti-Monitor unleashes waves of anti-matter to destroy everything. Guy and John Stewart drop a Death Star on the Anti-Monitor, then Superboy Prime tears him apart. Kyle and Hal take on Sinestro without their power rings. The Cyborg Superman finally gets to die, at least for a while, and one of the Guardians blasts Superboy into the Multiverse.

Beyond that, Sinestro, despite his defeat, figures he really won, because the Guardians’ new rules allowing Green Lanterns to kill means they adopted some of his preferred methods. The Guardians reveal a prophecy that a spectrum of new Lanterns will appear — in addition to the will-powered Green Lanterns and the terror-powered Yellow Lanterns, there will be Red Lanterns powered by hate, Orange Lanterns fueled by greed, Blue Lanterns to represent hope, Indigo Lanterns for compassion, and Violet Lanterns (actually the Zamorrans, like long-time GL villain Star Sapphire) powered by love. And finally, the remnants of the Anti-Monitor’s body are converted into fuel for a new, unpredicted Lantern — the Black Lantern, which has some nasty surprises in store for Earth’s cemeteries in another year or two.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Tons of stuff going on, sure, but most of it was very exciting, very entertaining, and worked wonderfully to get the reader interested and excited about future issues of the comic.

 

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Ion

This is basically the first of two epilogues for the Sinestro Corps storyline, in which Kyle Rayner, the former bearer of the Ion symbiote, counsels Sodam Yat, the current bearer, about what it’s all about. They also smack around Alexander Nero, one of Kyle’s old archnemeses.

Verdict: Thumbs down. This was a completely unnecessary story.

 

Green Lantern Corps #19

Another epilogue. Everyone rebuilds. Kyle and Guy are assigned duty on Oa. The formerly dead Ice makes her return, and a still hopelessly lovestruck Guy tries to rekindle their relationship. The other Green Lanterns return to their lives and their duties, and a Sinestro Corps ring picks out a very familiar and very dangerous new bearer.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Nothing earthshattering happens, but these little slice-of-life stories are always fun to read.