As soon as I saw this cover, I knew I’d have to post it, just for frequent commenter Swampy, who I know loves both the Hulk and catastrophically crude flatulence jokes.

Yes indeed, Hulk can’t fight gas, just as he can’t fight his love of convenience store burritos. And Darkhawk Nighthawk looks like he bore the full brunt of that backblast…

Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #4

Hellboy and his Irish friend, Alice, follow a faerie while HB tries to figure out what’s gone wrong with him lately. He remembers getting killed pretty decisively a while back and somehow coming back to life. He remembers killing the giants he was pursuing by embracing his demonic nature. But he doesn’t have long to reflect on things — the little goblin has lead them into a trap. Alice is shot with poisonous elfshot. Is there any way to save her?

Meanwhile, the followup story is another tale from Russian folklore, this time about a man captured by Baba Yaga. Can he outwit the evil witch before she eats him for breakfast?

Verdict: Thumbs up. The Hellboy story is advancing nicely, with some introspection for Hellboy that we don’t see very often. And I’m really digging these stories from Russian folklore — they’re both funny and scary in the way that only the best fairy tales are. Any time Mike Mignola wants to write a book about folk tales and folklore, I think I’d buy it.

Madame Xanadu #8

Nimue, in her Victorian-era guise as the fortuneteller Madame Xanadu, remains on the trail of Jack the Ripper, but despite her magical alarms, she is no closer to capturing the murderer than the police are. The only person who seems to have a clue is the Phantom Stranger — and his only interest in the matter is to make sure the killings continue! He claims that the murders must go on to save the future, but Nimue only sees an emotionless monster helping to clear the way for a mass murderer.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Matt Wagner’s writing is a joy to read, and Amy Reeder Hadley‘s artwork is some of the most beautiful stuff you’re going to find in a mainstream comic book. Go pick it up.

I completely forgot that the Lubbock Sketch Club was going to get featured in yesterday’s GO! section of the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, and by the time I remembered, I was a few miles away from a working computer. So here’s some belated linkage — if you haven’t read the article yet, go read it now.

And dig the cover up there — it was drawn by Sketch Club head honcho Will Terrell. Excellent cartooning and caricature work there — I wonder how many of those folks sprang completely from Will’s imagination and how many are caricatures of real people…?

Yah, sure, we all love us some FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS… but it’s also the official opening day of “Watchmen,” possibly the biggest comic book movie ever, so I should probably get that properly commemorated.

So… from 1987’s Watchmen #11 by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons: Nite Owl gets a big metal frisbee flung into his snoot:

Hey, Friday night’s also a good night for watching movies, so get to it, kids.

As it turned out, I didn’t go see the midnight showing for “Watchmen” — I’ve been having a really rough time with my allergies lately, and I didn’t much want to spend three hours in a theater sneezing my head off. Another time, maybe.

We got time for reviews? Sure we got time for reviews.

The Goon #32

It’s the big tenth-anniversary issue of Eric Powell’s noir-horror-comedy “The Goon.” We get an extra-large issue featuring the Zombie Priest’s origin, the Goon’s birthday party, the world’s most horrible singing telegram, the monstrous god of hobos, a delicious cake, and a digression about the ins-and-outs of animal-human-sex-humor starring Powell, writer-director Frank Darabont, and a Mr. T robot. All that plus a sketchbook with art by Mike Mignola, Jeff Smith, and Bernie Wrightson, Powell’s notes on the development of the Goon, and Powell’s tales of his trip to Paris.

Verdict: Thumbs up. Just grand, crude, hilarious, awesome stuff.

The Umbrella Academy: Dallas #4

That’s an awesome cover.

Anyway, Seance has been shot in the head and killed, and he still manages to take out sugar-rushed assassins Hazel and Cha Cha! After that, it’s time to reboot Spaceboy, dig up Dr. Pogo’s grave, grab the Kraken, and go time tripping to stop the Rumor and Number 5 from killing President Kennedy. Anything else? Well, there are the nukes, but I’m pretty sure someone knows how to defuse those, right? Right?

Verdict: Another thumbs up. This one is crammed full of whacked-out lunacy, played almost completely straight, and it’s got one of the best cliffhanger endings I’ve seen in quite a while.

Just to show how out-of-the-loop I am, I had no idea theaters would be showing “Watchmen” tonight in a midnight showing. Makes sense now that I think of it, of course…

The question now is: Do I really want to go to the “Watchmen” midnight showing?

On one hand, this is a pretty terrifically big movie, just about every comic fan is gonna be there, and it might be fun to see it in a room full of enthusiastic comics geeks.

On the other hand, I rarely enjoy midnight showings, and I’m getting a bit nervous about whether this movie is going to be any good. Plus, there’s likely to be a LOT of talking back to the screen — lots of “OMG, they took out the fourth panel from page 14 of Issue #7! ALAN MOORE WAS RIGHT!” And if that happens, I’m gonna hafta kill somebody.

The biggest strike against it? There’s likely to be costumes. Quite possibly, there may be a chubby bearded geek whose Dr. Manhattan costume will consist of blue bodypaint and nothing else.

Brrr-rrr…

So whatcha think? Are you going to be at the midnight showing for “Watchmen” or are you going to put it off a bit?

I’m bored. Booooored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

And irritated. Just about all of DC’s covers last week looked like somebody ate a bunch of paint in primary colors, then barfed all over the paper. Just loud, loud, clashing, awful covers.

What’s this all about? I’m tired of looking at this horrible, horrible cover for Green Lantern #38. I wanna get it off my desk, but the cover depresses and irritates me enough that I don’t want to review it yet. But I’ve got nothing else of interest to talk about yet. So it’s gotta be a GL review.

But I gotta make it fun for me somehow, right? So. Today’s review of Green Lantern #38 will be in 100%…

…Pig Latin.

Een-Gray Antern-Lay Umber-Nay Irty-Thay Eight-Ay

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Erdict-Vay: Umbs-Thay Own-Day. E-Thay ew-fay ool-cay its-bay (ike-lay Ordan’s-Jay een-gray/ue-blay/ed-ray ostume-cay) are-ay owned-dray out-ay y-bay e-thay estering-fay ounds-may of-ay onfusing-cay ap-cray iled-pay igh-hay around-ay e-thay est-ray of-ay e-thay ory-stay. Ease-Play urry-hay, Ack-Blay Anterns-Lay, and-ay ill-kay off-ay all-ay ese-thay incompoops-nay!

Pff. Glad that’s over. Next time I get the bright idea to try something like that again, just remind me to post a YouTube video of sci-fi theme songs performed with Tesla coils instead. It’s a lot less irritating for everyone.

Pfyew. Some of the comics I got last week have previously been pretty good, and created by writers with excellent reputations, but they still just absolutely stunk on toast. Let’s roll out the manure wagon…

Justice Society of America #24

Billy Batson has lost his powers as Captain Marvel and can no longer get to the Rock of Eternity. He enlists the JSA’s help so they can help him take care of Black Adam and Isis. They’re able to use Alan Scott’s Green Lantern ring to get to Billy’s Magic Subway Train to Magic Mountain, while Billy tells the story of how Black Adam killed his parents and how his ghost daddy helped him get his powers. Isis throws Billy into the magic mists outside the Rock of Eternity; Flash saves him but is himself lost. Mary Marvel shows up, and she’s still Crazy-Pink-Pigtails-Evil-Girl. Finally, Flash gets rescued by Billy’s ghost daddy so they can go somewhere called the “Rock of Finality.”

Verdict: Thumbs down. Okay, I know this is all an attempt to push the reset button, turn Mary normal again, get Billy back in his usual red Captain Marvel togs, and install Billy’s dad as the new Wizard Shazam, but this is just painfully bad stuff. Geoff Johns should be embarrassed that he wrote something this idiotic.

Wonder Woman #29

Everyone’s gotten their butts stomped by Genocide. Donna Troy’s gone nuts. Dr. Psycho is controlling Sgt. Steel. The Argonauts are attacking battleships. Cheetah attacks Wonder Woman, Zeus kills Milohai, Wonder Woman’s new patron god, and Genocide has kidnapped Etta Candy.

Verdict: Thumbs down. This is the worst comic I’ve read in ages. Even the giant squid the Argonauts bring along can’t save it. Gail Simone is supposed to be better than this.

Listen here, when I say “Big News for the Lubbock Comic Book Expo,” what I really mean is “Freakin’ Unbelievably Colossal News for the Lubbock Comic Book Expo.”

Now the Expo is still going to be held on Saturday, May 2, from 10 a.m.-8 p.m. So if you’ve already marked that on your calendar in pen, you’re still okay. That isn’t changing.

But everything else is changing. Y’all better hold on to yer hats.

The Lubbock Comic Book Expo is now an official part of this year’s Lubbock Arts Festival. That means everything’s going to be taking place in the Lubbock Municipal Civic Center on 1501 Mac Davis Lane downtown. We’ll be on the upper mezzanine level of the Civic Center, and we can expect an extremely large number of attendees, thanks to the 22,000 people who attend the Arts Festival every year. And it’s getting a price drop this year — admission to the Arts Festival is only $2, and the Comic Book Expo is completely free.

For more information about the Lubbock Comic Book Expo, visit the official website, and if you’d like a sneak peek at the Civic Center’s mezzanine where the Expo will be set up, check out the pix that Lubbock Sketch Club founder Will Terrell has on his website — and keep your eyes peeled for more announcements about the Expo on the way.

But ya know what? That’s still not all.

The Sketch Club now has plans for a second comic convention in Lubbock. This time, it’ll be on November 7th at the Science Spectrum. It’s on a bye week for Texas Tech football, so you know you’ll be looking for something fun to fill your weekend plans.

This is going to be a very big year for comics in Lubbock. Get on board now and enjoy the ride.

Hasn’t been too rough a week for me — heck, I’m unemployed, so that means I get to live the harsh life of sitting around the house, watching TV, trying not to overeat, and just, you know, have nightmares about money and homelessness and all that. So not too rough. But even on our easiest weeks, we still need something to get us out of our day-to-day schedule. So, the weekend’s almost here, and the best way to get stoked for the weekend is with our old pal FRIDAY NIGHT FIGHTS!

Tonight, we’re going to go for some seriously hardcore violence, so small children, squicky parents, and people who totally freak out about violence may wish to look away.

From November 2002, here’s a panel from PS238 #0 by Aaron Williams, featuring the epic battle between Bernard Brenner and his dad’s foot.

The savagery! The carnage! The limitless agonizing aaaaagony! Although you may find this panel tacked up in our friendly neighborhood podiatrist’s office. One person’s pain is another person’s Porsche…

(BTW, you can check out Aaron Williams’ awesome website right over here.)